Achilleas watched Stephanos flail around to get upright like a tortoise that had been turned on its back with little sympathy. He could not comprehend what motivated people to imbibe substances that so robbed them of self-control. Though the lord could not claim to have never been in such a condition, he clung to his right to judgement because the very few times he had been in such a state of disarray it had been linked to the very man before him. The dark-haired lord frowned and folded his arms across his chest as his cousin finally managed to get to a seated position and had the gall sound wronged somehow.

‘He was a woman.’

Achilleas gave a disbelieving snort. That was the story Stephanos was holding to? He shook his head as the prince went on, hardly able to imagine being so unobservant himself. The fact that his cousin had been caught -red-handed- partaking in the same activity that Stephanos had been so quick to decry Achilleas for? Well, it was more than he could just let slide. There should at least be some acknowledgement of the hypocrisy, and denying all knowledge of the presence of cock and balls wasn’t going to wash.

Only the prince seemed to be entirely unaware of Achilleas’ stance on the matter and continued to speak in his own defence with the other rolling his eyes until Steph went so far as to poke at his cousin, earning a narrowed gaze and a very loaded silence.

For his part, Achilleas was seriously considering kicking Stephanos very hard in the shin. It felt like a suitable recourse for the childish goading tossed his way and would wipe that stupid smile off his cousin’s face.

“Fuck Off,” he said instead. “I’m not the one who was just balls deep in a Colchian Lord, so we aren’t talking about me”

Though Achilleas was coming to see he should have just kept his mouth shut because there was evidently not going to be a sensible word to come from the prince’s mouth that night. He huffed a little and turned his gaze out of the window when Stephanos toppled sideways again. If he sulked the rest of the ride back to the palati and fantasised about opening the carriage door and tipping his cousin out then it was probably only healthy wasn’t it.

By the time they reached the palati, Stephanos was snoring like an old sow, and Achilleas eyed him for a moment before beginning the awkward job of manhandling him out of the carriage. He waved off the concern of the servants and shook his cousin awake enough that he could at least sling an arm around his back and drag him towards his chambers.

There, he let the other man fall face-first on to the bed and prepared to take his leave. Let him sleep it off. If he even remembered the events of the night, let alone their conversation, it would be nothing short of a miracle.

Only, as he was about to depart, Achilleas gaze skimmed over the writing desk and with another glance toward the snoring prince, he gave a dry snort of a laugh and moved over to leave a little note for Stephanos to find when he awoke.



Cousin,

I trust you are feeling much recovered this morning. I understand your recollections on the evening may be a little hazy, but worry not, because I remember everything in perfect clarity and will happily remind you at your earliest convenience.

Your humble servant,

Achilleas.



Tucking it beneath the pitcher of water at the man’s bedside, Achilleas stopped off to reassure the staff that he didn’t believe the prince to be in any danger, but suggested they send a physician very early just to be sure. He didn’t feel a moment’s guilt about it, but rather was smiling to himself all the way home.