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He wouldn’t have thought it possible for his nerves to be any more frayed than they had already been, but by the time Silanos had left the Kotas manor, he wanted even more to just drown himself in drink. What the fuck was going on? Imeeya of Drakos despised him. He was almost sure she’d said as much, she’d slapped him, thrown wine over him. He was not on her list of favourite people, he was sure of it. Which is why it made no fucking sense that she would kiss him like that. Of all the dumb shit she could have done to make his life more difficult. He didn’t understand.
And then there was Leto, and whatever mess he’d managed to create for himself there. His feelings towards her had definitely strayed into something new,unexpected, and that was a fucking disaster because she liked that idiot Maleos. Throw that together with the fact that he was supposed to be on a ship at dawn to head out to what would likely be his untimely death, and when it came down to it, Silanos was ready for the wine when his fingers closed around the cup.
It went down too easy. Like an old familiar friend, Silanos welcomed the warmth and slight mellowing that came from the second, then the third. By the time he called for another pitcher and that had gone too, the young lord was coming to see that perhaps some of his tolerance had depleted over his forced abstinence. It didn’t stop him though, not when he was seeking that numbing level of intoxication that would make him forget everything just for a bit.
It was an unfortunate side effect that such careful application of alcohol also helped him forget the way back from the dive of a tavern he’d been in to the Order House where he was supposed to be sleeping.
“Fucks sake” he muttered, as he paused to brace himself against a wall, squinting at the building ahead of him and not recognising it in the slightest. “ S’why Tim drinks at home” he muttered as he tried again to set himself on the right course. “No walking”
It was rather troubling that his head was spinning so much and yet he didn’t feel any better. That wasn’t how it was supposed to work, and Silanos couldn’t figure out why. He was still confused by Imeeya, and dreading tomorrow and irritated that things with Leto had gotten so damn muddled. And he was still lost.
“Give me a fucking break already” the young lord mumbled as he sank down in an empty doorway and put his head in his hands. He needed to get back because if he wasn’t there in the morning then it would look bad. Very bad. But with the night air beginning to cut through his self induced brain fog, he was also coming to see the error of his plan, and sneaking into the order house in the state he was in didn’t appeal either. He slumped against the wall at his shoulder, let his head hit the wall with a dull thunk. What a mess.
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He wouldn’t have thought it possible for his nerves to be any more frayed than they had already been, but by the time Silanos had left the Kotas manor, he wanted even more to just drown himself in drink. What the fuck was going on? Imeeya of Drakos despised him. He was almost sure she’d said as much, she’d slapped him, thrown wine over him. He was not on her list of favourite people, he was sure of it. Which is why it made no fucking sense that she would kiss him like that. Of all the dumb shit she could have done to make his life more difficult. He didn’t understand.
And then there was Leto, and whatever mess he’d managed to create for himself there. His feelings towards her had definitely strayed into something new,unexpected, and that was a fucking disaster because she liked that idiot Maleos. Throw that together with the fact that he was supposed to be on a ship at dawn to head out to what would likely be his untimely death, and when it came down to it, Silanos was ready for the wine when his fingers closed around the cup.
It went down too easy. Like an old familiar friend, Silanos welcomed the warmth and slight mellowing that came from the second, then the third. By the time he called for another pitcher and that had gone too, the young lord was coming to see that perhaps some of his tolerance had depleted over his forced abstinence. It didn’t stop him though, not when he was seeking that numbing level of intoxication that would make him forget everything just for a bit.
It was an unfortunate side effect that such careful application of alcohol also helped him forget the way back from the dive of a tavern he’d been in to the Order House where he was supposed to be sleeping.
“Fucks sake” he muttered, as he paused to brace himself against a wall, squinting at the building ahead of him and not recognising it in the slightest. “ S’why Tim drinks at home” he muttered as he tried again to set himself on the right course. “No walking”
It was rather troubling that his head was spinning so much and yet he didn’t feel any better. That wasn’t how it was supposed to work, and Silanos couldn’t figure out why. He was still confused by Imeeya, and dreading tomorrow and irritated that things with Leto had gotten so damn muddled. And he was still lost.
“Give me a fucking break already” the young lord mumbled as he sank down in an empty doorway and put his head in his hands. He needed to get back because if he wasn’t there in the morning then it would look bad. Very bad. But with the night air beginning to cut through his self induced brain fog, he was also coming to see the error of his plan, and sneaking into the order house in the state he was in didn’t appeal either. He slumped against the wall at his shoulder, let his head hit the wall with a dull thunk. What a mess.
He wouldn’t have thought it possible for his nerves to be any more frayed than they had already been, but by the time Silanos had left the Kotas manor, he wanted even more to just drown himself in drink. What the fuck was going on? Imeeya of Drakos despised him. He was almost sure she’d said as much, she’d slapped him, thrown wine over him. He was not on her list of favourite people, he was sure of it. Which is why it made no fucking sense that she would kiss him like that. Of all the dumb shit she could have done to make his life more difficult. He didn’t understand.
And then there was Leto, and whatever mess he’d managed to create for himself there. His feelings towards her had definitely strayed into something new,unexpected, and that was a fucking disaster because she liked that idiot Maleos. Throw that together with the fact that he was supposed to be on a ship at dawn to head out to what would likely be his untimely death, and when it came down to it, Silanos was ready for the wine when his fingers closed around the cup.
It went down too easy. Like an old familiar friend, Silanos welcomed the warmth and slight mellowing that came from the second, then the third. By the time he called for another pitcher and that had gone too, the young lord was coming to see that perhaps some of his tolerance had depleted over his forced abstinence. It didn’t stop him though, not when he was seeking that numbing level of intoxication that would make him forget everything just for a bit.
It was an unfortunate side effect that such careful application of alcohol also helped him forget the way back from the dive of a tavern he’d been in to the Order House where he was supposed to be sleeping.
“Fucks sake” he muttered, as he paused to brace himself against a wall, squinting at the building ahead of him and not recognising it in the slightest. “ S’why Tim drinks at home” he muttered as he tried again to set himself on the right course. “No walking”
It was rather troubling that his head was spinning so much and yet he didn’t feel any better. That wasn’t how it was supposed to work, and Silanos couldn’t figure out why. He was still confused by Imeeya, and dreading tomorrow and irritated that things with Leto had gotten so damn muddled. And he was still lost.
“Give me a fucking break already” the young lord mumbled as he sank down in an empty doorway and put his head in his hands. He needed to get back because if he wasn’t there in the morning then it would look bad. Very bad. But with the night air beginning to cut through his self induced brain fog, he was also coming to see the error of his plan, and sneaking into the order house in the state he was in didn’t appeal either. He slumped against the wall at his shoulder, let his head hit the wall with a dull thunk. What a mess.
Myrrine’s mind was spinning. It hadn’t been long since she met Hashe, since he’d kissed her senseless. Yet ever since she’d tied the red scarf in her window, it had been like torture waiting to see if he’d return. When nightfall came once more and the man who had consumed her every thought didn’t, she knew she had to do something. Otherwise she’d just sit there, staring at a window, waiting to be disappointed.
So she’d left her home and started walking. She ended up wandering further than she meant to so late at night, but her thoughts had thoroughly distracted her.
That night seemed just like yesterday. She could close her eyes and still feel his lips and hands as they explored her body. As he awoke some previously non-existent ache within her. All her life she had thought those women who spent their time mooning over men, gushing about how dreamy and wonderful they were had been nothing more than simpering idiots. She knew love was real - her parents had showed it to her every day for thirteen years after all. But that want to kiss and fawn over a man... it had always seemed foolish and frivolous to her. She had certainly never had the time to worry about such things. And the few stolen kisses when she was far younger had been forgettable at best.
Yet with Hashe... everything had been different. There had been some sort of connection, some sort of spark between them. She thought he’d felt it too. That night she had been sure of it. Yet now... if he felt as drawn to her as she had to him, how was it that he could stay away now? She’d been longing for him since that first touch. Somehow, even now that hadn’t truly faded. How could he keep his distance if he felt that too?
Had her rejection wounded his pride? It had seemed as though he’d taken it in stride, as though he understood that her hesitation was far more about timing and place than having anything to do with him. Had that kindness only been for her benefit? She couldn’t bring herself to see him in such a callous light though. Perhaps he was simply busy with business.
After all, she knew he’d have to leave soon enough. He’d told her that he traveled frequently. She harbored no delusions that he’d whisk her away or put down roots here with her. She knew this wasn’t love and it wasn’t forever. But she had believed she’d see him more than once. She didn’t think she’d find herself questioning a perfectly rational choice just because it seemed to have chased him away. Why did she care so much if it did after all?
These thoughts swarmed her mind, the pressure building and building within.
No. She would not let a near-stranger crumble her this way. She couldn’t afford such weakness. She was the one keeping her family afloat. She didn’t have time for romance and she didn’t have energy to worry over someone who was long gone.
It was then that a sound caught her attention. A gentle thud and muttering. Give me a fucking break already. Somehow, the sentiment resonated a little too strongly for her liking. She shook her head slightly, intending to continue past but something stopped her.
This man was suffering. She didn’t know his story, but she knew despair when she saw it, when she heard it. Her shoulders rolled back slightly as she made up her mind, turning on her heel to walk back towards the man in question, kneeling at his side. It was easy enough to figure out that he was drunk - she could smell it on him. Somehow, that only strengthened her resolve to help. She couldn’t leave anyone in such a state on the streets.
She offered him a smile, sweet as honey as she leaned closer, gently reaching out to touch his arm. Her brown eyes were bright with concern and devoid of any trace of pity. She knew whatever had led him to this state was troubling him still - she didn't dare judge a man for seeking respite from such worries.
“Excuse me, but you don’t seem well, or like you should be alone. Can I help get you back to your home perhaps?”
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Myrrine’s mind was spinning. It hadn’t been long since she met Hashe, since he’d kissed her senseless. Yet ever since she’d tied the red scarf in her window, it had been like torture waiting to see if he’d return. When nightfall came once more and the man who had consumed her every thought didn’t, she knew she had to do something. Otherwise she’d just sit there, staring at a window, waiting to be disappointed.
So she’d left her home and started walking. She ended up wandering further than she meant to so late at night, but her thoughts had thoroughly distracted her.
That night seemed just like yesterday. She could close her eyes and still feel his lips and hands as they explored her body. As he awoke some previously non-existent ache within her. All her life she had thought those women who spent their time mooning over men, gushing about how dreamy and wonderful they were had been nothing more than simpering idiots. She knew love was real - her parents had showed it to her every day for thirteen years after all. But that want to kiss and fawn over a man... it had always seemed foolish and frivolous to her. She had certainly never had the time to worry about such things. And the few stolen kisses when she was far younger had been forgettable at best.
Yet with Hashe... everything had been different. There had been some sort of connection, some sort of spark between them. She thought he’d felt it too. That night she had been sure of it. Yet now... if he felt as drawn to her as she had to him, how was it that he could stay away now? She’d been longing for him since that first touch. Somehow, even now that hadn’t truly faded. How could he keep his distance if he felt that too?
Had her rejection wounded his pride? It had seemed as though he’d taken it in stride, as though he understood that her hesitation was far more about timing and place than having anything to do with him. Had that kindness only been for her benefit? She couldn’t bring herself to see him in such a callous light though. Perhaps he was simply busy with business.
After all, she knew he’d have to leave soon enough. He’d told her that he traveled frequently. She harbored no delusions that he’d whisk her away or put down roots here with her. She knew this wasn’t love and it wasn’t forever. But she had believed she’d see him more than once. She didn’t think she’d find herself questioning a perfectly rational choice just because it seemed to have chased him away. Why did she care so much if it did after all?
These thoughts swarmed her mind, the pressure building and building within.
No. She would not let a near-stranger crumble her this way. She couldn’t afford such weakness. She was the one keeping her family afloat. She didn’t have time for romance and she didn’t have energy to worry over someone who was long gone.
It was then that a sound caught her attention. A gentle thud and muttering. Give me a fucking break already. Somehow, the sentiment resonated a little too strongly for her liking. She shook her head slightly, intending to continue past but something stopped her.
This man was suffering. She didn’t know his story, but she knew despair when she saw it, when she heard it. Her shoulders rolled back slightly as she made up her mind, turning on her heel to walk back towards the man in question, kneeling at his side. It was easy enough to figure out that he was drunk - she could smell it on him. Somehow, that only strengthened her resolve to help. She couldn’t leave anyone in such a state on the streets.
She offered him a smile, sweet as honey as she leaned closer, gently reaching out to touch his arm. Her brown eyes were bright with concern and devoid of any trace of pity. She knew whatever had led him to this state was troubling him still - she didn't dare judge a man for seeking respite from such worries.
“Excuse me, but you don’t seem well, or like you should be alone. Can I help get you back to your home perhaps?”
Myrrine’s mind was spinning. It hadn’t been long since she met Hashe, since he’d kissed her senseless. Yet ever since she’d tied the red scarf in her window, it had been like torture waiting to see if he’d return. When nightfall came once more and the man who had consumed her every thought didn’t, she knew she had to do something. Otherwise she’d just sit there, staring at a window, waiting to be disappointed.
So she’d left her home and started walking. She ended up wandering further than she meant to so late at night, but her thoughts had thoroughly distracted her.
That night seemed just like yesterday. She could close her eyes and still feel his lips and hands as they explored her body. As he awoke some previously non-existent ache within her. All her life she had thought those women who spent their time mooning over men, gushing about how dreamy and wonderful they were had been nothing more than simpering idiots. She knew love was real - her parents had showed it to her every day for thirteen years after all. But that want to kiss and fawn over a man... it had always seemed foolish and frivolous to her. She had certainly never had the time to worry about such things. And the few stolen kisses when she was far younger had been forgettable at best.
Yet with Hashe... everything had been different. There had been some sort of connection, some sort of spark between them. She thought he’d felt it too. That night she had been sure of it. Yet now... if he felt as drawn to her as she had to him, how was it that he could stay away now? She’d been longing for him since that first touch. Somehow, even now that hadn’t truly faded. How could he keep his distance if he felt that too?
Had her rejection wounded his pride? It had seemed as though he’d taken it in stride, as though he understood that her hesitation was far more about timing and place than having anything to do with him. Had that kindness only been for her benefit? She couldn’t bring herself to see him in such a callous light though. Perhaps he was simply busy with business.
After all, she knew he’d have to leave soon enough. He’d told her that he traveled frequently. She harbored no delusions that he’d whisk her away or put down roots here with her. She knew this wasn’t love and it wasn’t forever. But she had believed she’d see him more than once. She didn’t think she’d find herself questioning a perfectly rational choice just because it seemed to have chased him away. Why did she care so much if it did after all?
These thoughts swarmed her mind, the pressure building and building within.
No. She would not let a near-stranger crumble her this way. She couldn’t afford such weakness. She was the one keeping her family afloat. She didn’t have time for romance and she didn’t have energy to worry over someone who was long gone.
It was then that a sound caught her attention. A gentle thud and muttering. Give me a fucking break already. Somehow, the sentiment resonated a little too strongly for her liking. She shook her head slightly, intending to continue past but something stopped her.
This man was suffering. She didn’t know his story, but she knew despair when she saw it, when she heard it. Her shoulders rolled back slightly as she made up her mind, turning on her heel to walk back towards the man in question, kneeling at his side. It was easy enough to figure out that he was drunk - she could smell it on him. Somehow, that only strengthened her resolve to help. She couldn’t leave anyone in such a state on the streets.
She offered him a smile, sweet as honey as she leaned closer, gently reaching out to touch his arm. Her brown eyes were bright with concern and devoid of any trace of pity. She knew whatever had led him to this state was troubling him still - she didn't dare judge a man for seeking respite from such worries.
“Excuse me, but you don’t seem well, or like you should be alone. Can I help get you back to your home perhaps?”
He’d let his eyes close, perhaps in the hope sleep might find him however misguided that might be, given he had precisely no idea where he was. But as it turned out, he didn’t have to worry about it, because a touch on his arm had the lord snap his head up, finding himself blinking up at a woman he didn’t know. At least, he was mostly sure he didn’t know her. There had been more than a few...encounters where he didn’t remember anything until some girl came up and squawked at him for something or other. It generally made him a little wary of being accosted by strange females, but, Sil deduced, this one was smiling so he was probably safe. She was pretty though and for a moment he was distracted by that and sent her a sloppy grin. It felt like a lot of effort though and he let it fade pretty quickly.
Squinting a little at the woman, the young lord pushed himself away from the wall he’d slumped against and paused as the world lurched in a slow, dizzying circle. “I’m fine” he mumbled out of habit. “I just needed a little sit down” He waved vaguely at the doorway he’d appropriated, then seemed confused as to where he actually was. There was a beat or two’s silence before he appeared to reconsider.
“No that's a lie. I haven’t a fucking clue where I am and I need to get back to the Order House or I’m a dead man. Dead.” He stopped and pushed a hand through his hair, half muttering to himself now “If I’m not already dead because of... maybe I’m already dead. And then I’ll just be more dead”
He tipped his gaze back up to the woman who had stopped, remembering she was there maybe before he shook his head and got to his feet, only a little unsteadily. Another pause and a hand braced until the world righted itself again and then Silanos took a breath. He was tall so that he had to tit his head down a little to look at his unexpected saviour, blue eyes a little glassy and struggling to focus.
“Maybe you can point me towards the Order House?” It might’ve seemed an odd request for the young man did not have the look of a soldier. He was well-spoken if you ignored the slight slur, and not built like a man who had seen much of a battlefield. But he was determined to get back to the city home of the Red Knights it would appear.
Because despite what he might have thought earlier, Silanos was not going to shame his family by not being where he should be come dawn. Not on purpose anyway. He needed to get back there and get his stuff together. The fact that he could barely walk in a straight line, and that such a thing did not bode well for sneaking unnoticed into a building full of soldiers seemed to have escaped his notice for now, as did the fact that the hangover he was sure to be nursing the next day would not serve him well either. Turning his head as he tried once again to find his bearings, Sil didn’t even think to question what the woman herself was doing out in the middle of the night, walking the streets of Midas.
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He’d let his eyes close, perhaps in the hope sleep might find him however misguided that might be, given he had precisely no idea where he was. But as it turned out, he didn’t have to worry about it, because a touch on his arm had the lord snap his head up, finding himself blinking up at a woman he didn’t know. At least, he was mostly sure he didn’t know her. There had been more than a few...encounters where he didn’t remember anything until some girl came up and squawked at him for something or other. It generally made him a little wary of being accosted by strange females, but, Sil deduced, this one was smiling so he was probably safe. She was pretty though and for a moment he was distracted by that and sent her a sloppy grin. It felt like a lot of effort though and he let it fade pretty quickly.
Squinting a little at the woman, the young lord pushed himself away from the wall he’d slumped against and paused as the world lurched in a slow, dizzying circle. “I’m fine” he mumbled out of habit. “I just needed a little sit down” He waved vaguely at the doorway he’d appropriated, then seemed confused as to where he actually was. There was a beat or two’s silence before he appeared to reconsider.
“No that's a lie. I haven’t a fucking clue where I am and I need to get back to the Order House or I’m a dead man. Dead.” He stopped and pushed a hand through his hair, half muttering to himself now “If I’m not already dead because of... maybe I’m already dead. And then I’ll just be more dead”
He tipped his gaze back up to the woman who had stopped, remembering she was there maybe before he shook his head and got to his feet, only a little unsteadily. Another pause and a hand braced until the world righted itself again and then Silanos took a breath. He was tall so that he had to tit his head down a little to look at his unexpected saviour, blue eyes a little glassy and struggling to focus.
“Maybe you can point me towards the Order House?” It might’ve seemed an odd request for the young man did not have the look of a soldier. He was well-spoken if you ignored the slight slur, and not built like a man who had seen much of a battlefield. But he was determined to get back to the city home of the Red Knights it would appear.
Because despite what he might have thought earlier, Silanos was not going to shame his family by not being where he should be come dawn. Not on purpose anyway. He needed to get back there and get his stuff together. The fact that he could barely walk in a straight line, and that such a thing did not bode well for sneaking unnoticed into a building full of soldiers seemed to have escaped his notice for now, as did the fact that the hangover he was sure to be nursing the next day would not serve him well either. Turning his head as he tried once again to find his bearings, Sil didn’t even think to question what the woman herself was doing out in the middle of the night, walking the streets of Midas.
He’d let his eyes close, perhaps in the hope sleep might find him however misguided that might be, given he had precisely no idea where he was. But as it turned out, he didn’t have to worry about it, because a touch on his arm had the lord snap his head up, finding himself blinking up at a woman he didn’t know. At least, he was mostly sure he didn’t know her. There had been more than a few...encounters where he didn’t remember anything until some girl came up and squawked at him for something or other. It generally made him a little wary of being accosted by strange females, but, Sil deduced, this one was smiling so he was probably safe. She was pretty though and for a moment he was distracted by that and sent her a sloppy grin. It felt like a lot of effort though and he let it fade pretty quickly.
Squinting a little at the woman, the young lord pushed himself away from the wall he’d slumped against and paused as the world lurched in a slow, dizzying circle. “I’m fine” he mumbled out of habit. “I just needed a little sit down” He waved vaguely at the doorway he’d appropriated, then seemed confused as to where he actually was. There was a beat or two’s silence before he appeared to reconsider.
“No that's a lie. I haven’t a fucking clue where I am and I need to get back to the Order House or I’m a dead man. Dead.” He stopped and pushed a hand through his hair, half muttering to himself now “If I’m not already dead because of... maybe I’m already dead. And then I’ll just be more dead”
He tipped his gaze back up to the woman who had stopped, remembering she was there maybe before he shook his head and got to his feet, only a little unsteadily. Another pause and a hand braced until the world righted itself again and then Silanos took a breath. He was tall so that he had to tit his head down a little to look at his unexpected saviour, blue eyes a little glassy and struggling to focus.
“Maybe you can point me towards the Order House?” It might’ve seemed an odd request for the young man did not have the look of a soldier. He was well-spoken if you ignored the slight slur, and not built like a man who had seen much of a battlefield. But he was determined to get back to the city home of the Red Knights it would appear.
Because despite what he might have thought earlier, Silanos was not going to shame his family by not being where he should be come dawn. Not on purpose anyway. He needed to get back there and get his stuff together. The fact that he could barely walk in a straight line, and that such a thing did not bode well for sneaking unnoticed into a building full of soldiers seemed to have escaped his notice for now, as did the fact that the hangover he was sure to be nursing the next day would not serve him well either. Turning his head as he tried once again to find his bearings, Sil didn’t even think to question what the woman herself was doing out in the middle of the night, walking the streets of Midas.
For a moment, he gave her a wide grin that, if she had to guess, was meant to be charming. Instead, it appeared more mildly deranged - almost as if it pained him to even attempt. Luckily, it faltered and then disappeared entirely, putting them both more at ease.
She watched him, a patient smile frozen in place as he tried to insist that he was fine. It seemed that dealing with drunk men was remarkably similar to dealing with children. So she didn’t try to argue with him, didn’t try to convince him that he was wrong. She simply waited.
Sure enough, within a few moments of silence, he crumbled. Yet as the confessions spilled forth, her heart softened. If he was returning to the Order House... no wonder he was so drunk. He was shipping off to war in the morning. Especially as he continued to talk about death... his fear seemed to course through her. She could hardly blame him. He didn’t seem to possess the bloodthirstiness of some. Whatever his reason, she suspected he was reluctant at best.
She had to help him. There was no choice any longer. Not that she had really ever thought there was in the first place.
As he stood, she reached out to grasp his arm to steady him. He would find she was rather strong for a woman her size. She listened as he asked to be pointed in the right direction, considering him. He didn’t seem like an average soldier, but his background mattered not. She dare not ask.
“It’s okay now, I’m going to help. It’s all going to be okay now.” Her tone was that of a mother reassuring a frightened child. She smiled up at him warmly. “I’m Myrrine. It’s nice to meet you...” her voice trailed off, waiting for him to offer his own name.
“I don’t think its a good idea for you to return in this state,” she answered softly. At the least, he needed some water and if he could barely stand on his own, she didn’t reckon he could enter the Order House without awaking everyone. “I don’t think you want to make a fuss returning at this hour, correct?” She didn’t know enough to know exactly how bad the consequences would be, but she imagined that they were worth avoiding. Her second hand shift to lightly rub at his upper back, a soothing gesture to calm his distress.
“My home is on the way. How about I take you there, and get you a little more stable on your feet before we get you back to the Order House? That way, no one will be the wiser at all. Does that sound good?”
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For a moment, he gave her a wide grin that, if she had to guess, was meant to be charming. Instead, it appeared more mildly deranged - almost as if it pained him to even attempt. Luckily, it faltered and then disappeared entirely, putting them both more at ease.
She watched him, a patient smile frozen in place as he tried to insist that he was fine. It seemed that dealing with drunk men was remarkably similar to dealing with children. So she didn’t try to argue with him, didn’t try to convince him that he was wrong. She simply waited.
Sure enough, within a few moments of silence, he crumbled. Yet as the confessions spilled forth, her heart softened. If he was returning to the Order House... no wonder he was so drunk. He was shipping off to war in the morning. Especially as he continued to talk about death... his fear seemed to course through her. She could hardly blame him. He didn’t seem to possess the bloodthirstiness of some. Whatever his reason, she suspected he was reluctant at best.
She had to help him. There was no choice any longer. Not that she had really ever thought there was in the first place.
As he stood, she reached out to grasp his arm to steady him. He would find she was rather strong for a woman her size. She listened as he asked to be pointed in the right direction, considering him. He didn’t seem like an average soldier, but his background mattered not. She dare not ask.
“It’s okay now, I’m going to help. It’s all going to be okay now.” Her tone was that of a mother reassuring a frightened child. She smiled up at him warmly. “I’m Myrrine. It’s nice to meet you...” her voice trailed off, waiting for him to offer his own name.
“I don’t think its a good idea for you to return in this state,” she answered softly. At the least, he needed some water and if he could barely stand on his own, she didn’t reckon he could enter the Order House without awaking everyone. “I don’t think you want to make a fuss returning at this hour, correct?” She didn’t know enough to know exactly how bad the consequences would be, but she imagined that they were worth avoiding. Her second hand shift to lightly rub at his upper back, a soothing gesture to calm his distress.
“My home is on the way. How about I take you there, and get you a little more stable on your feet before we get you back to the Order House? That way, no one will be the wiser at all. Does that sound good?”
For a moment, he gave her a wide grin that, if she had to guess, was meant to be charming. Instead, it appeared more mildly deranged - almost as if it pained him to even attempt. Luckily, it faltered and then disappeared entirely, putting them both more at ease.
She watched him, a patient smile frozen in place as he tried to insist that he was fine. It seemed that dealing with drunk men was remarkably similar to dealing with children. So she didn’t try to argue with him, didn’t try to convince him that he was wrong. She simply waited.
Sure enough, within a few moments of silence, he crumbled. Yet as the confessions spilled forth, her heart softened. If he was returning to the Order House... no wonder he was so drunk. He was shipping off to war in the morning. Especially as he continued to talk about death... his fear seemed to course through her. She could hardly blame him. He didn’t seem to possess the bloodthirstiness of some. Whatever his reason, she suspected he was reluctant at best.
She had to help him. There was no choice any longer. Not that she had really ever thought there was in the first place.
As he stood, she reached out to grasp his arm to steady him. He would find she was rather strong for a woman her size. She listened as he asked to be pointed in the right direction, considering him. He didn’t seem like an average soldier, but his background mattered not. She dare not ask.
“It’s okay now, I’m going to help. It’s all going to be okay now.” Her tone was that of a mother reassuring a frightened child. She smiled up at him warmly. “I’m Myrrine. It’s nice to meet you...” her voice trailed off, waiting for him to offer his own name.
“I don’t think its a good idea for you to return in this state,” she answered softly. At the least, he needed some water and if he could barely stand on his own, she didn’t reckon he could enter the Order House without awaking everyone. “I don’t think you want to make a fuss returning at this hour, correct?” She didn’t know enough to know exactly how bad the consequences would be, but she imagined that they were worth avoiding. Her second hand shift to lightly rub at his upper back, a soothing gesture to calm his distress.
“My home is on the way. How about I take you there, and get you a little more stable on your feet before we get you back to the Order House? That way, no one will be the wiser at all. Does that sound good?”
Sil wavered a little as he stood, blinked at the hand that had closed around and his arm and he wanted to protest that actually no, it wasn’t fucking ok. It was all pretty far from okay. But there was a softness to the woman’s voice that made the words stick in his throat, and he just gazed at her a moment before giving a resigned sort of sigh.
“Silanos” He didn’t think he’d remember her name. He’d set out this night intent on not being able to remember his own, but what would you know, he’d failed at that too. The lord frowned when she started telling him what to do, the petulant part of him wanting to dig his heels in because he was so fucking sick of being ordered around. But, somehow her reasoning managed to find its way through the wine-soaked resistance and he realised that maybe the woman had a point and he shouldn’t go stumbling in like this.
“Alright” he mumbled. “Okaaay. Good plan, good.” Somewhere he registered the hand on his back, that little bit of comfort that was entirely different from the kind he might have sought out and he decided he ought to make an effort to know her name. “Myrrine. My saviour, Myrinne” He laughed a little at the idea and then seemed to refocus his thoughts, because they needed to walk now and he was going to have to concentrate on that.
With a little help and the occasional push in the right direction, they managed to make some progress through the streets of Midas, Sil mostly working hard to put one foot in front of the other before the silence started to get at him, and he filled it with words as was his usual habit.
“I would say I’m not usually like this but...ha…”he muttered. “You’re much prettier than the last person who walked me home, so at least there is that” Not that the Order House was home he appended silently, wondering where Tim was, or if their family had come to the city to bid him farewell. There was so much he should have done before now, things that he hadn’t thought necessary because he’d had so much faith in his own ability to get out of going to Egypt. That had worked out great.
“I’m not a soldier you know” he said suddenly, shooting a look at the woman beside him. “ In case you thought…” And then he realised that the distinction probably didnt matter to her and lapsed into silence again before he stumbled and had to catch himself by grabbing hold of her arm.
“Fuck, sorry.” He let go almost too quickly, because he really didn’t need anyone else wanting him dead for hurting their sister or cousin or whatever else, and the thought filled him with dread again because he was back to thinking about Imeeya and what he couldn’t think of as anything but the kiss of death. She’d looked so...hurt almost and Sil couldn’t figure out if he was more worried that someone had seen, or of Imeeya running to her cousin because he’d offended her. It was a mess and worse because he wouldn’t know until he saw Vangelis at the ships. For all he knew the man might kill him before he even set foot on a boat. His gaze lifted to Myrrine, it might have been sharp were it not for the difficulty he was having focusing. Still, he knew what he wanted to say.
“You haven’t got some crazy husband at your house who is going to take exception to me have you?” he asked, mildly alarmed by the prospect. “Or brother or cousin or..Anything. I’m not..I didn’t mean to grab you”
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Sil wavered a little as he stood, blinked at the hand that had closed around and his arm and he wanted to protest that actually no, it wasn’t fucking ok. It was all pretty far from okay. But there was a softness to the woman’s voice that made the words stick in his throat, and he just gazed at her a moment before giving a resigned sort of sigh.
“Silanos” He didn’t think he’d remember her name. He’d set out this night intent on not being able to remember his own, but what would you know, he’d failed at that too. The lord frowned when she started telling him what to do, the petulant part of him wanting to dig his heels in because he was so fucking sick of being ordered around. But, somehow her reasoning managed to find its way through the wine-soaked resistance and he realised that maybe the woman had a point and he shouldn’t go stumbling in like this.
“Alright” he mumbled. “Okaaay. Good plan, good.” Somewhere he registered the hand on his back, that little bit of comfort that was entirely different from the kind he might have sought out and he decided he ought to make an effort to know her name. “Myrrine. My saviour, Myrinne” He laughed a little at the idea and then seemed to refocus his thoughts, because they needed to walk now and he was going to have to concentrate on that.
With a little help and the occasional push in the right direction, they managed to make some progress through the streets of Midas, Sil mostly working hard to put one foot in front of the other before the silence started to get at him, and he filled it with words as was his usual habit.
“I would say I’m not usually like this but...ha…”he muttered. “You’re much prettier than the last person who walked me home, so at least there is that” Not that the Order House was home he appended silently, wondering where Tim was, or if their family had come to the city to bid him farewell. There was so much he should have done before now, things that he hadn’t thought necessary because he’d had so much faith in his own ability to get out of going to Egypt. That had worked out great.
“I’m not a soldier you know” he said suddenly, shooting a look at the woman beside him. “ In case you thought…” And then he realised that the distinction probably didnt matter to her and lapsed into silence again before he stumbled and had to catch himself by grabbing hold of her arm.
“Fuck, sorry.” He let go almost too quickly, because he really didn’t need anyone else wanting him dead for hurting their sister or cousin or whatever else, and the thought filled him with dread again because he was back to thinking about Imeeya and what he couldn’t think of as anything but the kiss of death. She’d looked so...hurt almost and Sil couldn’t figure out if he was more worried that someone had seen, or of Imeeya running to her cousin because he’d offended her. It was a mess and worse because he wouldn’t know until he saw Vangelis at the ships. For all he knew the man might kill him before he even set foot on a boat. His gaze lifted to Myrrine, it might have been sharp were it not for the difficulty he was having focusing. Still, he knew what he wanted to say.
“You haven’t got some crazy husband at your house who is going to take exception to me have you?” he asked, mildly alarmed by the prospect. “Or brother or cousin or..Anything. I’m not..I didn’t mean to grab you”
Sil wavered a little as he stood, blinked at the hand that had closed around and his arm and he wanted to protest that actually no, it wasn’t fucking ok. It was all pretty far from okay. But there was a softness to the woman’s voice that made the words stick in his throat, and he just gazed at her a moment before giving a resigned sort of sigh.
“Silanos” He didn’t think he’d remember her name. He’d set out this night intent on not being able to remember his own, but what would you know, he’d failed at that too. The lord frowned when she started telling him what to do, the petulant part of him wanting to dig his heels in because he was so fucking sick of being ordered around. But, somehow her reasoning managed to find its way through the wine-soaked resistance and he realised that maybe the woman had a point and he shouldn’t go stumbling in like this.
“Alright” he mumbled. “Okaaay. Good plan, good.” Somewhere he registered the hand on his back, that little bit of comfort that was entirely different from the kind he might have sought out and he decided he ought to make an effort to know her name. “Myrrine. My saviour, Myrinne” He laughed a little at the idea and then seemed to refocus his thoughts, because they needed to walk now and he was going to have to concentrate on that.
With a little help and the occasional push in the right direction, they managed to make some progress through the streets of Midas, Sil mostly working hard to put one foot in front of the other before the silence started to get at him, and he filled it with words as was his usual habit.
“I would say I’m not usually like this but...ha…”he muttered. “You’re much prettier than the last person who walked me home, so at least there is that” Not that the Order House was home he appended silently, wondering where Tim was, or if their family had come to the city to bid him farewell. There was so much he should have done before now, things that he hadn’t thought necessary because he’d had so much faith in his own ability to get out of going to Egypt. That had worked out great.
“I’m not a soldier you know” he said suddenly, shooting a look at the woman beside him. “ In case you thought…” And then he realised that the distinction probably didnt matter to her and lapsed into silence again before he stumbled and had to catch himself by grabbing hold of her arm.
“Fuck, sorry.” He let go almost too quickly, because he really didn’t need anyone else wanting him dead for hurting their sister or cousin or whatever else, and the thought filled him with dread again because he was back to thinking about Imeeya and what he couldn’t think of as anything but the kiss of death. She’d looked so...hurt almost and Sil couldn’t figure out if he was more worried that someone had seen, or of Imeeya running to her cousin because he’d offended her. It was a mess and worse because he wouldn’t know until he saw Vangelis at the ships. For all he knew the man might kill him before he even set foot on a boat. His gaze lifted to Myrrine, it might have been sharp were it not for the difficulty he was having focusing. Still, he knew what he wanted to say.
“You haven’t got some crazy husband at your house who is going to take exception to me have you?” he asked, mildly alarmed by the prospect. “Or brother or cousin or..Anything. I’m not..I didn’t mean to grab you”
For a long moment, she worried that he was going to refuse. If he did, she would help him nonetheless, but she would feel immensely better about the whole situation if he would let her help him sober up at least a little first. Thankfully, he eventually mumbled his agreement and she could not deny the relief that gave her.
As he repeated her name and called her his saviour, the only response she could manage was to flush a bright red. Fortunately, he quickly had to turn his focus on walking. He managed remarkably well for as drunk as he smelled, enough that she kept her distance, simply walking alongside him. Keeping pace took some concentration, but his gait being significantly larger than hers helped. She guided him with slight touches as they moved through the streets of the city.
Myrrine didn’t particularly notice the silence until he began to fill it. Still, she listened attentively, occasionally glancing up at him. “I think given the circumstances, it’s hard to fault you. I’m sure many of your comrades had the same idea tonight.” She carefully avoided the mention of her looks, though the flush of her cheeks deepened slightly. She wasn’t used to men noticing her in such a light.
The next part happened so quickly, she was momentarily stunned into silence. She would have thought nothing of the way his hand caught hold of her arm to right himself had he not reacted as he did. As he continued to speak, she began to form a hunch as to why he was so on edge about the whole thing.
“There is no need to apologize, Silanos. Do not fret. I have no husband, and the only brother in residence is too young to be a threat,” she assured him, rubbing his forearm in a comforting gesture. Her father and elder brother were both traveling once more. “Though hopefully we’ll be able to get you feeling better without needing to wake anyone.” She was worried less about her brother and more about her sisters. The elder two would fawn over Silanos and Calantha would be up half the night if she woke.
Instead, she turned the conversation back to an earlier topic. It seemed like as good a distraction as any, and she couldn’t deny that he had caught her curiosity. “I’ll admit, I didn’t think you seemed like any military man I’ve ever met. What is it that leads you to Egypt then? If you don’t mind my asking.”
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For a long moment, she worried that he was going to refuse. If he did, she would help him nonetheless, but she would feel immensely better about the whole situation if he would let her help him sober up at least a little first. Thankfully, he eventually mumbled his agreement and she could not deny the relief that gave her.
As he repeated her name and called her his saviour, the only response she could manage was to flush a bright red. Fortunately, he quickly had to turn his focus on walking. He managed remarkably well for as drunk as he smelled, enough that she kept her distance, simply walking alongside him. Keeping pace took some concentration, but his gait being significantly larger than hers helped. She guided him with slight touches as they moved through the streets of the city.
Myrrine didn’t particularly notice the silence until he began to fill it. Still, she listened attentively, occasionally glancing up at him. “I think given the circumstances, it’s hard to fault you. I’m sure many of your comrades had the same idea tonight.” She carefully avoided the mention of her looks, though the flush of her cheeks deepened slightly. She wasn’t used to men noticing her in such a light.
The next part happened so quickly, she was momentarily stunned into silence. She would have thought nothing of the way his hand caught hold of her arm to right himself had he not reacted as he did. As he continued to speak, she began to form a hunch as to why he was so on edge about the whole thing.
“There is no need to apologize, Silanos. Do not fret. I have no husband, and the only brother in residence is too young to be a threat,” she assured him, rubbing his forearm in a comforting gesture. Her father and elder brother were both traveling once more. “Though hopefully we’ll be able to get you feeling better without needing to wake anyone.” She was worried less about her brother and more about her sisters. The elder two would fawn over Silanos and Calantha would be up half the night if she woke.
Instead, she turned the conversation back to an earlier topic. It seemed like as good a distraction as any, and she couldn’t deny that he had caught her curiosity. “I’ll admit, I didn’t think you seemed like any military man I’ve ever met. What is it that leads you to Egypt then? If you don’t mind my asking.”
For a long moment, she worried that he was going to refuse. If he did, she would help him nonetheless, but she would feel immensely better about the whole situation if he would let her help him sober up at least a little first. Thankfully, he eventually mumbled his agreement and she could not deny the relief that gave her.
As he repeated her name and called her his saviour, the only response she could manage was to flush a bright red. Fortunately, he quickly had to turn his focus on walking. He managed remarkably well for as drunk as he smelled, enough that she kept her distance, simply walking alongside him. Keeping pace took some concentration, but his gait being significantly larger than hers helped. She guided him with slight touches as they moved through the streets of the city.
Myrrine didn’t particularly notice the silence until he began to fill it. Still, she listened attentively, occasionally glancing up at him. “I think given the circumstances, it’s hard to fault you. I’m sure many of your comrades had the same idea tonight.” She carefully avoided the mention of her looks, though the flush of her cheeks deepened slightly. She wasn’t used to men noticing her in such a light.
The next part happened so quickly, she was momentarily stunned into silence. She would have thought nothing of the way his hand caught hold of her arm to right himself had he not reacted as he did. As he continued to speak, she began to form a hunch as to why he was so on edge about the whole thing.
“There is no need to apologize, Silanos. Do not fret. I have no husband, and the only brother in residence is too young to be a threat,” she assured him, rubbing his forearm in a comforting gesture. Her father and elder brother were both traveling once more. “Though hopefully we’ll be able to get you feeling better without needing to wake anyone.” She was worried less about her brother and more about her sisters. The elder two would fawn over Silanos and Calantha would be up half the night if she woke.
Instead, she turned the conversation back to an earlier topic. It seemed like as good a distraction as any, and she couldn’t deny that he had caught her curiosity. “I’ll admit, I didn’t think you seemed like any military man I’ve ever met. What is it that leads you to Egypt then? If you don’t mind my asking.”
The young Lord squinted at Myrrine and gave a dismissive snort when she mentioned comrades. Sil did not exactly have comrades going into this thing. He wasn’t ‘one of the men’ that made up the Red Knights, they weren’t his friends. Silanos didn’t even spend his days with them, he just happened to sleep in the same building. That, and the obvious difference in their stations did not exactly foster relations.
Not paying enough attention to notice her blush, he lapsed into silence, occupied with the demanding action of walking, until even that became too much of an ask. That his reaction might seem..disproportionate to his new friend didn’t even cross his mind,not with fretting over the possible repercussions of Imeeya and her…
She’d kissed him. Or tried in a kind of adorable way like someone with no idea what they were doing would try to, and Sil had told her off for it. It seemed so unlikely that he wanted to laugh, but this woman wouldn’t understand and would think he was the crazy one. Instead,he heaved a sigh, glanced up at the assurances that this conversation at least was not likely to see him in trouble with anyone and nodded.
“That’s good then. Makes a change” The latter was muttered mostly to himself as he half-turned to continue ambling down the street they were on,[ still weaving a little from side to side but he was trying to be careful. When Myrrine’s question came his way, Silanos looked at her blankly as if he’d forgotten that it was him that had raised such a topic, which he had. But it didn’t matter anyway, he was quite well aware he wasn't a standard issue soldier.
“The Crown Prince leads me to Egypt” he answered, pulling a face. “I’m sort of..in his service right now so...where he goes, I go. Which means Egypt. Lucky me” The Lord’s expression said almost the exact opposite, and the slightly slurred words had a tinge of hopelessness to them. Silanos didn’t like to think himself cowardly, but there was some real fear of what was being asked of him. He’d never seen a battlefield, didn’t know what he was walking into or what was going to be expected of him. The thought made his stomach churn. Or it could be the wine.
“...I might’ve liked to go, you know, if it wasn’t for there being a fucking war. That kills the attraction for me. And I thought - I’ve tried really hard to be useless you know, so he wouldn’t take me, but no. Of course he fucking wants me to go. So yeah…”
Sil trailed off, because he sounded like he was whining. He was whining because that was really on the recourse left open to him now. The rest of it was out of his hands.
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The young Lord squinted at Myrrine and gave a dismissive snort when she mentioned comrades. Sil did not exactly have comrades going into this thing. He wasn’t ‘one of the men’ that made up the Red Knights, they weren’t his friends. Silanos didn’t even spend his days with them, he just happened to sleep in the same building. That, and the obvious difference in their stations did not exactly foster relations.
Not paying enough attention to notice her blush, he lapsed into silence, occupied with the demanding action of walking, until even that became too much of an ask. That his reaction might seem..disproportionate to his new friend didn’t even cross his mind,not with fretting over the possible repercussions of Imeeya and her…
She’d kissed him. Or tried in a kind of adorable way like someone with no idea what they were doing would try to, and Sil had told her off for it. It seemed so unlikely that he wanted to laugh, but this woman wouldn’t understand and would think he was the crazy one. Instead,he heaved a sigh, glanced up at the assurances that this conversation at least was not likely to see him in trouble with anyone and nodded.
“That’s good then. Makes a change” The latter was muttered mostly to himself as he half-turned to continue ambling down the street they were on,[ still weaving a little from side to side but he was trying to be careful. When Myrrine’s question came his way, Silanos looked at her blankly as if he’d forgotten that it was him that had raised such a topic, which he had. But it didn’t matter anyway, he was quite well aware he wasn't a standard issue soldier.
“The Crown Prince leads me to Egypt” he answered, pulling a face. “I’m sort of..in his service right now so...where he goes, I go. Which means Egypt. Lucky me” The Lord’s expression said almost the exact opposite, and the slightly slurred words had a tinge of hopelessness to them. Silanos didn’t like to think himself cowardly, but there was some real fear of what was being asked of him. He’d never seen a battlefield, didn’t know what he was walking into or what was going to be expected of him. The thought made his stomach churn. Or it could be the wine.
“...I might’ve liked to go, you know, if it wasn’t for there being a fucking war. That kills the attraction for me. And I thought - I’ve tried really hard to be useless you know, so he wouldn’t take me, but no. Of course he fucking wants me to go. So yeah…”
Sil trailed off, because he sounded like he was whining. He was whining because that was really on the recourse left open to him now. The rest of it was out of his hands.
The young Lord squinted at Myrrine and gave a dismissive snort when she mentioned comrades. Sil did not exactly have comrades going into this thing. He wasn’t ‘one of the men’ that made up the Red Knights, they weren’t his friends. Silanos didn’t even spend his days with them, he just happened to sleep in the same building. That, and the obvious difference in their stations did not exactly foster relations.
Not paying enough attention to notice her blush, he lapsed into silence, occupied with the demanding action of walking, until even that became too much of an ask. That his reaction might seem..disproportionate to his new friend didn’t even cross his mind,not with fretting over the possible repercussions of Imeeya and her…
She’d kissed him. Or tried in a kind of adorable way like someone with no idea what they were doing would try to, and Sil had told her off for it. It seemed so unlikely that he wanted to laugh, but this woman wouldn’t understand and would think he was the crazy one. Instead,he heaved a sigh, glanced up at the assurances that this conversation at least was not likely to see him in trouble with anyone and nodded.
“That’s good then. Makes a change” The latter was muttered mostly to himself as he half-turned to continue ambling down the street they were on,[ still weaving a little from side to side but he was trying to be careful. When Myrrine’s question came his way, Silanos looked at her blankly as if he’d forgotten that it was him that had raised such a topic, which he had. But it didn’t matter anyway, he was quite well aware he wasn't a standard issue soldier.
“The Crown Prince leads me to Egypt” he answered, pulling a face. “I’m sort of..in his service right now so...where he goes, I go. Which means Egypt. Lucky me” The Lord’s expression said almost the exact opposite, and the slightly slurred words had a tinge of hopelessness to them. Silanos didn’t like to think himself cowardly, but there was some real fear of what was being asked of him. He’d never seen a battlefield, didn’t know what he was walking into or what was going to be expected of him. The thought made his stomach churn. Or it could be the wine.
“...I might’ve liked to go, you know, if it wasn’t for there being a fucking war. That kills the attraction for me. And I thought - I’ve tried really hard to be useless you know, so he wouldn’t take me, but no. Of course he fucking wants me to go. So yeah…”
Sil trailed off, because he sounded like he was whining. He was whining because that was really on the recourse left open to him now. The rest of it was out of his hands.
Her eyes narrowed just slightly as he muttered about that being a change. She had only guess he had gotten on the wrong side of some lady’s male family member recently. Clearly it had left some sort of scars - be they mental or physical she could not know. It had clearly been enough to leave an impression though if he was so concerned about her own family.
Between his facial expressions and his tone, it was easy to see he was not enthusiastic in the least about setting sail. She let him speak freely, especially as his bitterness seemed to swell. She couldn’t exactly blame him, nor could she see the wisdom of the Crown Prince’s choice. What use was a man who had no desire to fight?
“I imagine it is impossible to deny the Crown Prince if he is set on something,” she said finally.
She smiled slightly though as she remembered a better time. “You’re right though. It’s a shame it is war that takes you to Egypt’s shores. I went once when I was young. It is truly a sight to behold. I hope you get that chance. Perhaps you can return and tell me how its changed over the years.” It was an empty request. She doubted she was likely to ever see him again - not that she was opposed to the matter. He simply didn’t seem the sort to seek out some commoner who helped him one drunken night he likely wouldn’t even remember. No matter how he joked of her being his savior.
“It sounds to me as though you’ve been forced into an impossible position. It’s hardly fair. I’m no expert in military matters, nor in your skills, but I cannot see how the benefits outweigh the risks of taking a man to war against his will.” She shook her head, brow furrowed. Either he was some sort of expert of obscurity that the Prince believed would be useful, or there was some sort of personal motivation that she couldn’t begin to fathom.
“Still, you must be an honorable man to see your service through. Many in your shoes would at least consider fleeing.” She paused a moment before looking up suddenly, understanding in her eyes. It was the simplest thing. Something she had to reassure her brother of all the time. Something that she wondered if anyone had ever been kind enough to tell the man beside her.
“You know, there is no shame in being afraid. War is terrifying, even for the brave. Anyone who isn’t afraid is a fool. I’m sure you’re many things, Silanos, but you don’t strike me to be a fool.”
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Her eyes narrowed just slightly as he muttered about that being a change. She had only guess he had gotten on the wrong side of some lady’s male family member recently. Clearly it had left some sort of scars - be they mental or physical she could not know. It had clearly been enough to leave an impression though if he was so concerned about her own family.
Between his facial expressions and his tone, it was easy to see he was not enthusiastic in the least about setting sail. She let him speak freely, especially as his bitterness seemed to swell. She couldn’t exactly blame him, nor could she see the wisdom of the Crown Prince’s choice. What use was a man who had no desire to fight?
“I imagine it is impossible to deny the Crown Prince if he is set on something,” she said finally.
She smiled slightly though as she remembered a better time. “You’re right though. It’s a shame it is war that takes you to Egypt’s shores. I went once when I was young. It is truly a sight to behold. I hope you get that chance. Perhaps you can return and tell me how its changed over the years.” It was an empty request. She doubted she was likely to ever see him again - not that she was opposed to the matter. He simply didn’t seem the sort to seek out some commoner who helped him one drunken night he likely wouldn’t even remember. No matter how he joked of her being his savior.
“It sounds to me as though you’ve been forced into an impossible position. It’s hardly fair. I’m no expert in military matters, nor in your skills, but I cannot see how the benefits outweigh the risks of taking a man to war against his will.” She shook her head, brow furrowed. Either he was some sort of expert of obscurity that the Prince believed would be useful, or there was some sort of personal motivation that she couldn’t begin to fathom.
“Still, you must be an honorable man to see your service through. Many in your shoes would at least consider fleeing.” She paused a moment before looking up suddenly, understanding in her eyes. It was the simplest thing. Something she had to reassure her brother of all the time. Something that she wondered if anyone had ever been kind enough to tell the man beside her.
“You know, there is no shame in being afraid. War is terrifying, even for the brave. Anyone who isn’t afraid is a fool. I’m sure you’re many things, Silanos, but you don’t strike me to be a fool.”
Her eyes narrowed just slightly as he muttered about that being a change. She had only guess he had gotten on the wrong side of some lady’s male family member recently. Clearly it had left some sort of scars - be they mental or physical she could not know. It had clearly been enough to leave an impression though if he was so concerned about her own family.
Between his facial expressions and his tone, it was easy to see he was not enthusiastic in the least about setting sail. She let him speak freely, especially as his bitterness seemed to swell. She couldn’t exactly blame him, nor could she see the wisdom of the Crown Prince’s choice. What use was a man who had no desire to fight?
“I imagine it is impossible to deny the Crown Prince if he is set on something,” she said finally.
She smiled slightly though as she remembered a better time. “You’re right though. It’s a shame it is war that takes you to Egypt’s shores. I went once when I was young. It is truly a sight to behold. I hope you get that chance. Perhaps you can return and tell me how its changed over the years.” It was an empty request. She doubted she was likely to ever see him again - not that she was opposed to the matter. He simply didn’t seem the sort to seek out some commoner who helped him one drunken night he likely wouldn’t even remember. No matter how he joked of her being his savior.
“It sounds to me as though you’ve been forced into an impossible position. It’s hardly fair. I’m no expert in military matters, nor in your skills, but I cannot see how the benefits outweigh the risks of taking a man to war against his will.” She shook her head, brow furrowed. Either he was some sort of expert of obscurity that the Prince believed would be useful, or there was some sort of personal motivation that she couldn’t begin to fathom.
“Still, you must be an honorable man to see your service through. Many in your shoes would at least consider fleeing.” She paused a moment before looking up suddenly, understanding in her eyes. It was the simplest thing. Something she had to reassure her brother of all the time. Something that she wondered if anyone had ever been kind enough to tell the man beside her.
“You know, there is no shame in being afraid. War is terrifying, even for the brave. Anyone who isn’t afraid is a fool. I’m sure you’re many things, Silanos, but you don’t strike me to be a fool.”
Silanos didn’t bother to address the comment verbally. The deadpan look he sent the woman beside him spoke loudly enough of his thoughts on arguing the Crown Prince’s orders. It was the one thing he hadn’t done in all of this mess. He hadn't been resistant or obstreperous. The sword had kind of put paid to any thoughts of dissent, and since then he’d just held his tongue and done as he was told. It was all a bit of a novelty really.
When Myrrine talked of him returning, it was not lacking of interest in her that made Sil give a soft snort of a laugh. It was more the pervading fear that he wouldn’t be coming home at all, that this would be the last time he was in Colchis. He didn’t even fucking know what he was walking into, his head full of second-hand accounts and strategies that Vangelis had pushed upon him, his mind unable to stop conjuring grizzly scenes of what it might actually look like. It made him feel a bit sick.
The woman’s voice continued on and Sil wondered if he’d said something aloud because she tuned in so deftly to the path his mind had wandered. He frowned at his feet because the thoughts he’d had about just..not being there in the morning hadn’t been honourable. Even if he hadn’t followed through on them, the fact they were there made him cowardly, didn’t they?
“Isn’t there?” he asked, a touch bitterly when she told him there was no shame in being afraid. But her words were somehow a comfort, and the Lord turned his slightly hazy gaze on her. “You’re wrong though. I think maybe I am a fool.” He blinked at her, narrowly avoided tripping over an uneven bit of road and even by the time he’d righted himself, he wasn’t finished saying whatever it was he wanted to say, apparently.
“Not about not wanting to go and fucking die. I don’t understand the idiots who are excited by that. But I..fuck, I should have…”
He was thinking about the things he should’ve done before now before he was about to ship off and he had no time left to him. He should have set things right with his brother, he should have gone out to Eubycris and spent as much time with his Mother as he could, because who knew if he would...He should have sorted things with Leto and been less of a coward about that too.
“I feel like there are things I left too late, you know?”
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Silanos didn’t bother to address the comment verbally. The deadpan look he sent the woman beside him spoke loudly enough of his thoughts on arguing the Crown Prince’s orders. It was the one thing he hadn’t done in all of this mess. He hadn't been resistant or obstreperous. The sword had kind of put paid to any thoughts of dissent, and since then he’d just held his tongue and done as he was told. It was all a bit of a novelty really.
When Myrrine talked of him returning, it was not lacking of interest in her that made Sil give a soft snort of a laugh. It was more the pervading fear that he wouldn’t be coming home at all, that this would be the last time he was in Colchis. He didn’t even fucking know what he was walking into, his head full of second-hand accounts and strategies that Vangelis had pushed upon him, his mind unable to stop conjuring grizzly scenes of what it might actually look like. It made him feel a bit sick.
The woman’s voice continued on and Sil wondered if he’d said something aloud because she tuned in so deftly to the path his mind had wandered. He frowned at his feet because the thoughts he’d had about just..not being there in the morning hadn’t been honourable. Even if he hadn’t followed through on them, the fact they were there made him cowardly, didn’t they?
“Isn’t there?” he asked, a touch bitterly when she told him there was no shame in being afraid. But her words were somehow a comfort, and the Lord turned his slightly hazy gaze on her. “You’re wrong though. I think maybe I am a fool.” He blinked at her, narrowly avoided tripping over an uneven bit of road and even by the time he’d righted himself, he wasn’t finished saying whatever it was he wanted to say, apparently.
“Not about not wanting to go and fucking die. I don’t understand the idiots who are excited by that. But I..fuck, I should have…”
He was thinking about the things he should’ve done before now before he was about to ship off and he had no time left to him. He should have set things right with his brother, he should have gone out to Eubycris and spent as much time with his Mother as he could, because who knew if he would...He should have sorted things with Leto and been less of a coward about that too.
“I feel like there are things I left too late, you know?”
Silanos didn’t bother to address the comment verbally. The deadpan look he sent the woman beside him spoke loudly enough of his thoughts on arguing the Crown Prince’s orders. It was the one thing he hadn’t done in all of this mess. He hadn't been resistant or obstreperous. The sword had kind of put paid to any thoughts of dissent, and since then he’d just held his tongue and done as he was told. It was all a bit of a novelty really.
When Myrrine talked of him returning, it was not lacking of interest in her that made Sil give a soft snort of a laugh. It was more the pervading fear that he wouldn’t be coming home at all, that this would be the last time he was in Colchis. He didn’t even fucking know what he was walking into, his head full of second-hand accounts and strategies that Vangelis had pushed upon him, his mind unable to stop conjuring grizzly scenes of what it might actually look like. It made him feel a bit sick.
The woman’s voice continued on and Sil wondered if he’d said something aloud because she tuned in so deftly to the path his mind had wandered. He frowned at his feet because the thoughts he’d had about just..not being there in the morning hadn’t been honourable. Even if he hadn’t followed through on them, the fact they were there made him cowardly, didn’t they?
“Isn’t there?” he asked, a touch bitterly when she told him there was no shame in being afraid. But her words were somehow a comfort, and the Lord turned his slightly hazy gaze on her. “You’re wrong though. I think maybe I am a fool.” He blinked at her, narrowly avoided tripping over an uneven bit of road and even by the time he’d righted himself, he wasn’t finished saying whatever it was he wanted to say, apparently.
“Not about not wanting to go and fucking die. I don’t understand the idiots who are excited by that. But I..fuck, I should have…”
He was thinking about the things he should’ve done before now before he was about to ship off and he had no time left to him. He should have set things right with his brother, he should have gone out to Eubycris and spent as much time with his Mother as he could, because who knew if he would...He should have sorted things with Leto and been less of a coward about that too.
“I feel like there are things I left too late, you know?”
The look he offered her said more than any words could. All she could do was offer a small shrug. She knew she was stating the obvious. She could hardly imagine anyone attempting to argue with the Crown Prince. It seemed something akin to a death wish. Particularly since he was the stoic prince. While she could certainly appreciate that trait and realized that his public persona surely had to be different from his private one... well, it just seemed that he was not the sort of man to take resistance in stride.
“No,” she insisted softly. “That’s what most people don’t realize. It’s not the fear that leads to shame. It’s the way one chooses to face it. Cowardice and dishonor bring shame. But fear... fear is just a part of being human. It’s a basic instinct, just as much as the need to eat or drink or breathe is. Pretending otherwise just creates a whole lot of unnecessary worries.” She saw it all the time in her brothers, especially as they had grown up. This silly notion that acknowledging fear was somehow a weakness. It was ridiculous of course. Fear was as natural as breathing. Honor came from actions, not instincts.
She listened as he continued to speak though, and it struck a chord within that she had long thought buried. Her own steps faltered, making her stumble slightly as she was suddenly hit with a sharp pang of grief from half a lifetime before, almost stopping her cold. Yet she could remember the time when she had said almost the exact same thing all those years ago.
“It’s a mistake we all make. Assuming there will be more time,” she finally managed, her voice a soft whisper. She did her best to hide the abrupt wave of emotion that had overtaken her, but her voice still trembled more than she might have liked. A harder edge came to her voice as she continued. “That hardly makes you a fool. Or if it does, then every last one of us is a damn fool in the end.”
She shook her head, trying to wipe away the memories that threatened to rise to the surface. If she gave into them, she’d fall apart. It was the reason she kept herself busy, forever avoiding the emotions that could never be resolved. If she couldn’t even surrender to them in private, she would hardly allow herself to do so in front of a stranger, even if he was drunk. “Everyone has regrets. Things that they wish they’d done or said. People they wish they’d appreciated more. There’s always something. All you can do is try not to hesitate in the future. But that’s far easier said than done.”
Finally she dared to look up at him once more. “Believe you’ll make it back. Fight with all you have to survive. Then come back and make up for all the things you left too long. It’s all you can do.”
Suddenly, she did lurch to a stop. “Actually, that’s not quite true. You have a little time left. Time enough to at least leave something behind. A letter, or a token perhaps.” She studied him a moment. He was still hazy eyed and wobbled on his feet. “I could help you, if you wanted.”
Her eyes met his, filled with her own regret. “I know the pain of holding on to words you’ll never get the chance to share. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”
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The look he offered her said more than any words could. All she could do was offer a small shrug. She knew she was stating the obvious. She could hardly imagine anyone attempting to argue with the Crown Prince. It seemed something akin to a death wish. Particularly since he was the stoic prince. While she could certainly appreciate that trait and realized that his public persona surely had to be different from his private one... well, it just seemed that he was not the sort of man to take resistance in stride.
“No,” she insisted softly. “That’s what most people don’t realize. It’s not the fear that leads to shame. It’s the way one chooses to face it. Cowardice and dishonor bring shame. But fear... fear is just a part of being human. It’s a basic instinct, just as much as the need to eat or drink or breathe is. Pretending otherwise just creates a whole lot of unnecessary worries.” She saw it all the time in her brothers, especially as they had grown up. This silly notion that acknowledging fear was somehow a weakness. It was ridiculous of course. Fear was as natural as breathing. Honor came from actions, not instincts.
She listened as he continued to speak though, and it struck a chord within that she had long thought buried. Her own steps faltered, making her stumble slightly as she was suddenly hit with a sharp pang of grief from half a lifetime before, almost stopping her cold. Yet she could remember the time when she had said almost the exact same thing all those years ago.
“It’s a mistake we all make. Assuming there will be more time,” she finally managed, her voice a soft whisper. She did her best to hide the abrupt wave of emotion that had overtaken her, but her voice still trembled more than she might have liked. A harder edge came to her voice as she continued. “That hardly makes you a fool. Or if it does, then every last one of us is a damn fool in the end.”
She shook her head, trying to wipe away the memories that threatened to rise to the surface. If she gave into them, she’d fall apart. It was the reason she kept herself busy, forever avoiding the emotions that could never be resolved. If she couldn’t even surrender to them in private, she would hardly allow herself to do so in front of a stranger, even if he was drunk. “Everyone has regrets. Things that they wish they’d done or said. People they wish they’d appreciated more. There’s always something. All you can do is try not to hesitate in the future. But that’s far easier said than done.”
Finally she dared to look up at him once more. “Believe you’ll make it back. Fight with all you have to survive. Then come back and make up for all the things you left too long. It’s all you can do.”
Suddenly, she did lurch to a stop. “Actually, that’s not quite true. You have a little time left. Time enough to at least leave something behind. A letter, or a token perhaps.” She studied him a moment. He was still hazy eyed and wobbled on his feet. “I could help you, if you wanted.”
Her eyes met his, filled with her own regret. “I know the pain of holding on to words you’ll never get the chance to share. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”
The look he offered her said more than any words could. All she could do was offer a small shrug. She knew she was stating the obvious. She could hardly imagine anyone attempting to argue with the Crown Prince. It seemed something akin to a death wish. Particularly since he was the stoic prince. While she could certainly appreciate that trait and realized that his public persona surely had to be different from his private one... well, it just seemed that he was not the sort of man to take resistance in stride.
“No,” she insisted softly. “That’s what most people don’t realize. It’s not the fear that leads to shame. It’s the way one chooses to face it. Cowardice and dishonor bring shame. But fear... fear is just a part of being human. It’s a basic instinct, just as much as the need to eat or drink or breathe is. Pretending otherwise just creates a whole lot of unnecessary worries.” She saw it all the time in her brothers, especially as they had grown up. This silly notion that acknowledging fear was somehow a weakness. It was ridiculous of course. Fear was as natural as breathing. Honor came from actions, not instincts.
She listened as he continued to speak though, and it struck a chord within that she had long thought buried. Her own steps faltered, making her stumble slightly as she was suddenly hit with a sharp pang of grief from half a lifetime before, almost stopping her cold. Yet she could remember the time when she had said almost the exact same thing all those years ago.
“It’s a mistake we all make. Assuming there will be more time,” she finally managed, her voice a soft whisper. She did her best to hide the abrupt wave of emotion that had overtaken her, but her voice still trembled more than she might have liked. A harder edge came to her voice as she continued. “That hardly makes you a fool. Or if it does, then every last one of us is a damn fool in the end.”
She shook her head, trying to wipe away the memories that threatened to rise to the surface. If she gave into them, she’d fall apart. It was the reason she kept herself busy, forever avoiding the emotions that could never be resolved. If she couldn’t even surrender to them in private, she would hardly allow herself to do so in front of a stranger, even if he was drunk. “Everyone has regrets. Things that they wish they’d done or said. People they wish they’d appreciated more. There’s always something. All you can do is try not to hesitate in the future. But that’s far easier said than done.”
Finally she dared to look up at him once more. “Believe you’ll make it back. Fight with all you have to survive. Then come back and make up for all the things you left too long. It’s all you can do.”
Suddenly, she did lurch to a stop. “Actually, that’s not quite true. You have a little time left. Time enough to at least leave something behind. A letter, or a token perhaps.” She studied him a moment. He was still hazy eyed and wobbled on his feet. “I could help you, if you wanted.”
Her eyes met his, filled with her own regret. “I know the pain of holding on to words you’ll never get the chance to share. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”
Silanos was half-listening, half-concentrating on walking, and he let words like shame and dishonor roll off his shoulders and away. Hades sake, he’d had them thrown enough at him already. Fuck that. Still, fear was one he was becoming rather used to as well, as he didn’t like it. In fact, it felt a little like his own mortality had been shoved in his face too much recently. Fear had a sour, bitter taste. He preferred wine.
Turning his gaze once more to Myrrine, he tilted his head a little as she talked of regrets, something in her tone jarring him out of his own head for a bit, making him pay some more attention to her and he wondered at what she regretted. Obviously something.
“Sorry...sorry” he mumbled. “I’m depressing you now. It doesn’t matter. None of it..i hate miserable drunks. Leave me in the doorway next time, poor fucking me...”
He tailed off when she came to a sudden halt, his own steps faltering a moment after and he stood there blinking at her, trying to remember what he’d said already. Holding onto words? How did she know? Though he didn’t know what the fuck he would say to Imeeya other than what he already had. What are you doing? seemed pretty succinct in his book. And Leto...well she was just...
“I don’t have anything to say to anyone that they are gonna want to hear” He started some offhand denial because that was easier, scowling at his feet. “Sometimes saying things is just a fucking joke you know and makes everything complicated when it doesn’t need to be complicated. Why’d girls do that?” Here he looked at Myrrine as if she were somehow accountable for the entirety of her sex, waving one arm randomly as he warmed to his subject. “ You’re either doing things that make no sense, or implying things that make no sense, or asking things. Like nothing can just be..what it is. There’s like some secret fucking agenda to everything...”
And he shut his mouth, having muddled himself quite thoroughly and said more than he wanted to, feeling that same sort of irritation that he’d felt when he’d left Leto’s house. Write to me she’d said. Well maybe he would. Maybe if she wanted to know everything, he’d tell her and then she’d know better than to ask next time.
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Silanos was half-listening, half-concentrating on walking, and he let words like shame and dishonor roll off his shoulders and away. Hades sake, he’d had them thrown enough at him already. Fuck that. Still, fear was one he was becoming rather used to as well, as he didn’t like it. In fact, it felt a little like his own mortality had been shoved in his face too much recently. Fear had a sour, bitter taste. He preferred wine.
Turning his gaze once more to Myrrine, he tilted his head a little as she talked of regrets, something in her tone jarring him out of his own head for a bit, making him pay some more attention to her and he wondered at what she regretted. Obviously something.
“Sorry...sorry” he mumbled. “I’m depressing you now. It doesn’t matter. None of it..i hate miserable drunks. Leave me in the doorway next time, poor fucking me...”
He tailed off when she came to a sudden halt, his own steps faltering a moment after and he stood there blinking at her, trying to remember what he’d said already. Holding onto words? How did she know? Though he didn’t know what the fuck he would say to Imeeya other than what he already had. What are you doing? seemed pretty succinct in his book. And Leto...well she was just...
“I don’t have anything to say to anyone that they are gonna want to hear” He started some offhand denial because that was easier, scowling at his feet. “Sometimes saying things is just a fucking joke you know and makes everything complicated when it doesn’t need to be complicated. Why’d girls do that?” Here he looked at Myrrine as if she were somehow accountable for the entirety of her sex, waving one arm randomly as he warmed to his subject. “ You’re either doing things that make no sense, or implying things that make no sense, or asking things. Like nothing can just be..what it is. There’s like some secret fucking agenda to everything...”
And he shut his mouth, having muddled himself quite thoroughly and said more than he wanted to, feeling that same sort of irritation that he’d felt when he’d left Leto’s house. Write to me she’d said. Well maybe he would. Maybe if she wanted to know everything, he’d tell her and then she’d know better than to ask next time.
Silanos was half-listening, half-concentrating on walking, and he let words like shame and dishonor roll off his shoulders and away. Hades sake, he’d had them thrown enough at him already. Fuck that. Still, fear was one he was becoming rather used to as well, as he didn’t like it. In fact, it felt a little like his own mortality had been shoved in his face too much recently. Fear had a sour, bitter taste. He preferred wine.
Turning his gaze once more to Myrrine, he tilted his head a little as she talked of regrets, something in her tone jarring him out of his own head for a bit, making him pay some more attention to her and he wondered at what she regretted. Obviously something.
“Sorry...sorry” he mumbled. “I’m depressing you now. It doesn’t matter. None of it..i hate miserable drunks. Leave me in the doorway next time, poor fucking me...”
He tailed off when she came to a sudden halt, his own steps faltering a moment after and he stood there blinking at her, trying to remember what he’d said already. Holding onto words? How did she know? Though he didn’t know what the fuck he would say to Imeeya other than what he already had. What are you doing? seemed pretty succinct in his book. And Leto...well she was just...
“I don’t have anything to say to anyone that they are gonna want to hear” He started some offhand denial because that was easier, scowling at his feet. “Sometimes saying things is just a fucking joke you know and makes everything complicated when it doesn’t need to be complicated. Why’d girls do that?” Here he looked at Myrrine as if she were somehow accountable for the entirety of her sex, waving one arm randomly as he warmed to his subject. “ You’re either doing things that make no sense, or implying things that make no sense, or asking things. Like nothing can just be..what it is. There’s like some secret fucking agenda to everything...”
And he shut his mouth, having muddled himself quite thoroughly and said more than he wanted to, feeling that same sort of irritation that he’d felt when he’d left Leto’s house. Write to me she’d said. Well maybe he would. Maybe if she wanted to know everything, he’d tell her and then she’d know better than to ask next time.
Myrrine winced as she realized that her tone had turned melancholy and Silanos seemed to be blaming herself for that. “No, no, don’t apologize,” she said softly. “It’s not your fault and you’re not a miserable drunk. You’re dealing with something major right now. As for me...” She hesitated slightly, trying to decide what to tell him. “You reminded me of something I said once, after my mother died many years ago. I don’t let myself remember those times often.”
She gave a small shrug. “So don’t feel bad. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
The way he stood there, simply staring and blinking at her surely meant that either she’d hit close to home with her statement or entirely confused him. He immediately launched into denial and she could only give him an exasperated look. The more he talked the more she began to get a sense of what he was grappling with.
“First of all, you have no idea what they might want to hear. Moreover, its not about them. It’s about knowing what you can live with never sharing. You have time left, don’t waste it. Don’t leave for Egypt wishing you had made a different choice.”
She studied him for a moment before softening slightly. “Clearly some woman has you all twisted up.” Myrrine simply watched him for a moment, head tilted to the side. “Feelings are complicated though. It’s not always intentional.” It wasn’t really her place to interfere or offer advice, but she couldn’t help but see how obviously tortured he was. “The ones left behind are afraid too, you know. We may not have to face the danger you’re going into, but we’re left waiting and hoping to see the ones we care for again, worrying that day will never come.”
Myrrine gave him a small but patient smile. She knew nothing of his situation, but she found herself wanting to give him hope.“Just as you’re afraid, maybe she is also afraid you won’t return. Maybe there was something she couldn’t bear to leave unsaid between you. Even if it made things complicated and confusing. Maybe to her all that was worth the risk of never getting another chance with you.”
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Myrrine winced as she realized that her tone had turned melancholy and Silanos seemed to be blaming herself for that. “No, no, don’t apologize,” she said softly. “It’s not your fault and you’re not a miserable drunk. You’re dealing with something major right now. As for me...” She hesitated slightly, trying to decide what to tell him. “You reminded me of something I said once, after my mother died many years ago. I don’t let myself remember those times often.”
She gave a small shrug. “So don’t feel bad. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
The way he stood there, simply staring and blinking at her surely meant that either she’d hit close to home with her statement or entirely confused him. He immediately launched into denial and she could only give him an exasperated look. The more he talked the more she began to get a sense of what he was grappling with.
“First of all, you have no idea what they might want to hear. Moreover, its not about them. It’s about knowing what you can live with never sharing. You have time left, don’t waste it. Don’t leave for Egypt wishing you had made a different choice.”
She studied him for a moment before softening slightly. “Clearly some woman has you all twisted up.” Myrrine simply watched him for a moment, head tilted to the side. “Feelings are complicated though. It’s not always intentional.” It wasn’t really her place to interfere or offer advice, but she couldn’t help but see how obviously tortured he was. “The ones left behind are afraid too, you know. We may not have to face the danger you’re going into, but we’re left waiting and hoping to see the ones we care for again, worrying that day will never come.”
Myrrine gave him a small but patient smile. She knew nothing of his situation, but she found herself wanting to give him hope.“Just as you’re afraid, maybe she is also afraid you won’t return. Maybe there was something she couldn’t bear to leave unsaid between you. Even if it made things complicated and confusing. Maybe to her all that was worth the risk of never getting another chance with you.”
Myrrine winced as she realized that her tone had turned melancholy and Silanos seemed to be blaming herself for that. “No, no, don’t apologize,” she said softly. “It’s not your fault and you’re not a miserable drunk. You’re dealing with something major right now. As for me...” She hesitated slightly, trying to decide what to tell him. “You reminded me of something I said once, after my mother died many years ago. I don’t let myself remember those times often.”
She gave a small shrug. “So don’t feel bad. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
The way he stood there, simply staring and blinking at her surely meant that either she’d hit close to home with her statement or entirely confused him. He immediately launched into denial and she could only give him an exasperated look. The more he talked the more she began to get a sense of what he was grappling with.
“First of all, you have no idea what they might want to hear. Moreover, its not about them. It’s about knowing what you can live with never sharing. You have time left, don’t waste it. Don’t leave for Egypt wishing you had made a different choice.”
She studied him for a moment before softening slightly. “Clearly some woman has you all twisted up.” Myrrine simply watched him for a moment, head tilted to the side. “Feelings are complicated though. It’s not always intentional.” It wasn’t really her place to interfere or offer advice, but she couldn’t help but see how obviously tortured he was. “The ones left behind are afraid too, you know. We may not have to face the danger you’re going into, but we’re left waiting and hoping to see the ones we care for again, worrying that day will never come.”
Myrrine gave him a small but patient smile. She knew nothing of his situation, but she found herself wanting to give him hope.“Just as you’re afraid, maybe she is also afraid you won’t return. Maybe there was something she couldn’t bear to leave unsaid between you. Even if it made things complicated and confusing. Maybe to her all that was worth the risk of never getting another chance with you.”
The Lord blinked hazily at Myrrine as he tried to follow her explanation. And when she went on to talk about her mother, he frowned because of all things he knew what loss was like. “Sorry,” he said quietly, gaze falling away to his feet. He didn’t want to invite further conversation on that subject, but couldn’t leave it hanging either.
Perhaps it was a relief then that he seemed to warm to the next topic, his tone growing heated, whatever frustration he held evident in the gesticulating and the expressiveness even if his actual words didn’t lend much context to his ramblings. And Silanos couldn’t draw much context from the reply he received either.
Did she mean Imeeya or Leto? He didn't know what the fuck either of them wanted if he was honest. One one hand there was Leto, and he knew there was something there, which made no sense because it was supposed to be like that, and she was insistent on whatever nonsense she had with Maleos. Did he..want something from her? He wasn’t sure. He knew he didn’t want Maleos to have anything from her and that was weird. Jealousy wasn't a thing he was used to.
And as for Imeeya? Well, she was a mystery all of her own. A sparring partner perhaps, but she had made it quite clear on repeated occasions that she disdained him. Her mother was worse than the master informer and her cousin had literally nearly killed him, and for whatever reason, she’d decided that made him a suitable partner to practice kissing with.
Because he was leaving?
“I’m not twisted up” he replied, ineffectively, as if the long pause and intensely confused expression hadn’t already betrayed how Myrrine had spotted the truth. Silanos was not much used to letting feelings enter into his dealings with women. He’d done it once and gotten his fingers burned, it was more trouble than it was worth. Part of him was furious at Leto for worming her way in and making things difficult. “If I was though...you think I should..make things more complicated?”
Maleos was going away too though, he mused. And part of him didn't like the idea that Leto would be pining after him. Maybe letting her know she had options wasn’t a bad idea. And he had that bracelet, the one that had been kicking around since hed bought it on a whim, that hed bought for Leto and changed his mind about because...well...girls got weird about jewellery. He should have done in any way.
“I leave in the morning though. I won’t get a chance”
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The Lord blinked hazily at Myrrine as he tried to follow her explanation. And when she went on to talk about her mother, he frowned because of all things he knew what loss was like. “Sorry,” he said quietly, gaze falling away to his feet. He didn’t want to invite further conversation on that subject, but couldn’t leave it hanging either.
Perhaps it was a relief then that he seemed to warm to the next topic, his tone growing heated, whatever frustration he held evident in the gesticulating and the expressiveness even if his actual words didn’t lend much context to his ramblings. And Silanos couldn’t draw much context from the reply he received either.
Did she mean Imeeya or Leto? He didn't know what the fuck either of them wanted if he was honest. One one hand there was Leto, and he knew there was something there, which made no sense because it was supposed to be like that, and she was insistent on whatever nonsense she had with Maleos. Did he..want something from her? He wasn’t sure. He knew he didn’t want Maleos to have anything from her and that was weird. Jealousy wasn't a thing he was used to.
And as for Imeeya? Well, she was a mystery all of her own. A sparring partner perhaps, but she had made it quite clear on repeated occasions that she disdained him. Her mother was worse than the master informer and her cousin had literally nearly killed him, and for whatever reason, she’d decided that made him a suitable partner to practice kissing with.
Because he was leaving?
“I’m not twisted up” he replied, ineffectively, as if the long pause and intensely confused expression hadn’t already betrayed how Myrrine had spotted the truth. Silanos was not much used to letting feelings enter into his dealings with women. He’d done it once and gotten his fingers burned, it was more trouble than it was worth. Part of him was furious at Leto for worming her way in and making things difficult. “If I was though...you think I should..make things more complicated?”
Maleos was going away too though, he mused. And part of him didn't like the idea that Leto would be pining after him. Maybe letting her know she had options wasn’t a bad idea. And he had that bracelet, the one that had been kicking around since hed bought it on a whim, that hed bought for Leto and changed his mind about because...well...girls got weird about jewellery. He should have done in any way.
“I leave in the morning though. I won’t get a chance”
The Lord blinked hazily at Myrrine as he tried to follow her explanation. And when she went on to talk about her mother, he frowned because of all things he knew what loss was like. “Sorry,” he said quietly, gaze falling away to his feet. He didn’t want to invite further conversation on that subject, but couldn’t leave it hanging either.
Perhaps it was a relief then that he seemed to warm to the next topic, his tone growing heated, whatever frustration he held evident in the gesticulating and the expressiveness even if his actual words didn’t lend much context to his ramblings. And Silanos couldn’t draw much context from the reply he received either.
Did she mean Imeeya or Leto? He didn't know what the fuck either of them wanted if he was honest. One one hand there was Leto, and he knew there was something there, which made no sense because it was supposed to be like that, and she was insistent on whatever nonsense she had with Maleos. Did he..want something from her? He wasn’t sure. He knew he didn’t want Maleos to have anything from her and that was weird. Jealousy wasn't a thing he was used to.
And as for Imeeya? Well, she was a mystery all of her own. A sparring partner perhaps, but she had made it quite clear on repeated occasions that she disdained him. Her mother was worse than the master informer and her cousin had literally nearly killed him, and for whatever reason, she’d decided that made him a suitable partner to practice kissing with.
Because he was leaving?
“I’m not twisted up” he replied, ineffectively, as if the long pause and intensely confused expression hadn’t already betrayed how Myrrine had spotted the truth. Silanos was not much used to letting feelings enter into his dealings with women. He’d done it once and gotten his fingers burned, it was more trouble than it was worth. Part of him was furious at Leto for worming her way in and making things difficult. “If I was though...you think I should..make things more complicated?”
Maleos was going away too though, he mused. And part of him didn't like the idea that Leto would be pining after him. Maybe letting her know she had options wasn’t a bad idea. And he had that bracelet, the one that had been kicking around since hed bought it on a whim, that hed bought for Leto and changed his mind about because...well...girls got weird about jewellery. He should have done in any way.
“I leave in the morning though. I won’t get a chance”
Myrrine inclined her head at his quiet apology. “Thank you,” she said softly, knowing that he meant it as condolences, rather than some belief of fault. Yet he didn’t seemed inclined to discuss the matter further, so she let a silence fall over them. She found herself wondering if he was quiet because he couldn’t relate, or perhaps because he could? The ebb and flow of grief was a strange thing. Even now, all these years later, sometimes it would hit her at the strangest moments as powerful as when the wound had been fresh.
Finally he spoke again, trying to deny what was painfully clear. She said nothing, merely gave him a look much like one would give a child denying wrong-doing after being caught red handed. They both knew the truth, even if he wasn’t ready to admit it aloud just yet. She offered a small smile at his question that followed. The way he phrased it as if it didn’t actually apply to him, and this was some purely hypothetical discussion. “It might be more complicated, or it might become quite simple. It’s hard to say,” she answered with a shrug. She didn’t know enough of his situation to even have a guess at which way it might go for him. “Either way, surely it must be better than leaving things uncertain. You never know what might happen in your absence. Everything could be different by the time you return.”
Or he might not return at all. But that unpleasant possibility was thick enough in the air tonight. There was no reason to give voice to it.
“Even if things were more complicated, it might be worth it, to share what you’ve left unspoken. That is a question only you can answer though. What will you regret more? Saying nothing, or risking further complication?”
He had fallen quiet once more. She wasn’t sure what he was thinking about, but it seemed that something she said must have struck a chord with him. She shook her head slightly as he insisted he wouldn’t get a chance to do anything. “There is still tonight,” she reminded him softly. “And many will go to see the soldiers off in the morning as well.”
Myrrine paused, taking an opportunity to study the younger man. She hoped he would survive the war that he was sailing off into, though she knew not every man could. Still, he was so young yet. He deserved a chance to live his life. However he wished to. “You have the time, if you wish to use it. But its your choice. Just try to leave these shore with as few regrets as you can. That’s the best advice I can offer you.”
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Myrrine inclined her head at his quiet apology. “Thank you,” she said softly, knowing that he meant it as condolences, rather than some belief of fault. Yet he didn’t seemed inclined to discuss the matter further, so she let a silence fall over them. She found herself wondering if he was quiet because he couldn’t relate, or perhaps because he could? The ebb and flow of grief was a strange thing. Even now, all these years later, sometimes it would hit her at the strangest moments as powerful as when the wound had been fresh.
Finally he spoke again, trying to deny what was painfully clear. She said nothing, merely gave him a look much like one would give a child denying wrong-doing after being caught red handed. They both knew the truth, even if he wasn’t ready to admit it aloud just yet. She offered a small smile at his question that followed. The way he phrased it as if it didn’t actually apply to him, and this was some purely hypothetical discussion. “It might be more complicated, or it might become quite simple. It’s hard to say,” she answered with a shrug. She didn’t know enough of his situation to even have a guess at which way it might go for him. “Either way, surely it must be better than leaving things uncertain. You never know what might happen in your absence. Everything could be different by the time you return.”
Or he might not return at all. But that unpleasant possibility was thick enough in the air tonight. There was no reason to give voice to it.
“Even if things were more complicated, it might be worth it, to share what you’ve left unspoken. That is a question only you can answer though. What will you regret more? Saying nothing, or risking further complication?”
He had fallen quiet once more. She wasn’t sure what he was thinking about, but it seemed that something she said must have struck a chord with him. She shook her head slightly as he insisted he wouldn’t get a chance to do anything. “There is still tonight,” she reminded him softly. “And many will go to see the soldiers off in the morning as well.”
Myrrine paused, taking an opportunity to study the younger man. She hoped he would survive the war that he was sailing off into, though she knew not every man could. Still, he was so young yet. He deserved a chance to live his life. However he wished to. “You have the time, if you wish to use it. But its your choice. Just try to leave these shore with as few regrets as you can. That’s the best advice I can offer you.”
Myrrine inclined her head at his quiet apology. “Thank you,” she said softly, knowing that he meant it as condolences, rather than some belief of fault. Yet he didn’t seemed inclined to discuss the matter further, so she let a silence fall over them. She found herself wondering if he was quiet because he couldn’t relate, or perhaps because he could? The ebb and flow of grief was a strange thing. Even now, all these years later, sometimes it would hit her at the strangest moments as powerful as when the wound had been fresh.
Finally he spoke again, trying to deny what was painfully clear. She said nothing, merely gave him a look much like one would give a child denying wrong-doing after being caught red handed. They both knew the truth, even if he wasn’t ready to admit it aloud just yet. She offered a small smile at his question that followed. The way he phrased it as if it didn’t actually apply to him, and this was some purely hypothetical discussion. “It might be more complicated, or it might become quite simple. It’s hard to say,” she answered with a shrug. She didn’t know enough of his situation to even have a guess at which way it might go for him. “Either way, surely it must be better than leaving things uncertain. You never know what might happen in your absence. Everything could be different by the time you return.”
Or he might not return at all. But that unpleasant possibility was thick enough in the air tonight. There was no reason to give voice to it.
“Even if things were more complicated, it might be worth it, to share what you’ve left unspoken. That is a question only you can answer though. What will you regret more? Saying nothing, or risking further complication?”
He had fallen quiet once more. She wasn’t sure what he was thinking about, but it seemed that something she said must have struck a chord with him. She shook her head slightly as he insisted he wouldn’t get a chance to do anything. “There is still tonight,” she reminded him softly. “And many will go to see the soldiers off in the morning as well.”
Myrrine paused, taking an opportunity to study the younger man. She hoped he would survive the war that he was sailing off into, though she knew not every man could. Still, he was so young yet. He deserved a chance to live his life. However he wished to. “You have the time, if you wish to use it. But its your choice. Just try to leave these shore with as few regrets as you can. That’s the best advice I can offer you.”
Silanos was frowning very hard at his feet as he listened to Myrrine dole out the advice that absolutely did not apply to his situation. And he wasn’t scowling because she was basically saying he could make things better or make things worse and that was not great advice really. Fuck it.
‘Either way, surely it must be better than leaving things uncertain. You never know what might happen in your absence. Everything could be different by the time you return.’
That had the young mad sigh and pushed an agitated hand through his hair, the fear at what awaited him in Egypt, making that a pertinent observation. Was it better to just lay everything out and then see where the chips fell? Silanos cut a bleary gaze toward Myrrine as she went on. He didn’t usually deal in regrets, content to leave mistakes and triumphs behind him to move on to the next adventure. It had only seemed recently that he was tripping himself over right, left and centre.
And he hadn’t looked for anything from Leto. Hadn’t tried to charm his way into her bed, she’d just sort of ended up mattering to him somehow. And even though she professed to care for Maleos, there was something there, she hadn’t been able to deny it. He’d felt oddly dejected when he’d left her house, and it had certainly contributed to the questionable decision to drink too much cheap wine and find himself in his current situation.
'There is still tonight'
There was….a few hours until dawn, Sil processed groggily as he glanced at the still-dark sky. Maybe if he…
“Alright,” the lord said decisively. “ Alright. Yeah. Fucking...I can still” He was counselling himself mostly it appeared until his gaze lifted to find Myrrine. “Yes!” A lopsided grin burst across his face, and before she knew what he was doing, he’d grabbed hold of her and planted a clumsy kiss on her. “You’re a genius. Oracle...wise..woman.”
Staggering slightly, he moved back and looked around them as if he was trying to get his bearings. He needed to get to the upper levels. Climbing in through his window wasn’t something he hadn’t managed before, and that bracelet would still be sitting in its little cloth bag in the chest next to his bed—no point it staying there if he was going to off to war and might not come back.
“I have to go” he proclaimed. “Got to...you know. No regrets. Thanks.” With a renewed sense of purpose, Sil was walking away, a hand lifted in salutation. “ Thank you.”
There was a delivery he needed to make before dawn.
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Silanos was frowning very hard at his feet as he listened to Myrrine dole out the advice that absolutely did not apply to his situation. And he wasn’t scowling because she was basically saying he could make things better or make things worse and that was not great advice really. Fuck it.
‘Either way, surely it must be better than leaving things uncertain. You never know what might happen in your absence. Everything could be different by the time you return.’
That had the young mad sigh and pushed an agitated hand through his hair, the fear at what awaited him in Egypt, making that a pertinent observation. Was it better to just lay everything out and then see where the chips fell? Silanos cut a bleary gaze toward Myrrine as she went on. He didn’t usually deal in regrets, content to leave mistakes and triumphs behind him to move on to the next adventure. It had only seemed recently that he was tripping himself over right, left and centre.
And he hadn’t looked for anything from Leto. Hadn’t tried to charm his way into her bed, she’d just sort of ended up mattering to him somehow. And even though she professed to care for Maleos, there was something there, she hadn’t been able to deny it. He’d felt oddly dejected when he’d left her house, and it had certainly contributed to the questionable decision to drink too much cheap wine and find himself in his current situation.
'There is still tonight'
There was….a few hours until dawn, Sil processed groggily as he glanced at the still-dark sky. Maybe if he…
“Alright,” the lord said decisively. “ Alright. Yeah. Fucking...I can still” He was counselling himself mostly it appeared until his gaze lifted to find Myrrine. “Yes!” A lopsided grin burst across his face, and before she knew what he was doing, he’d grabbed hold of her and planted a clumsy kiss on her. “You’re a genius. Oracle...wise..woman.”
Staggering slightly, he moved back and looked around them as if he was trying to get his bearings. He needed to get to the upper levels. Climbing in through his window wasn’t something he hadn’t managed before, and that bracelet would still be sitting in its little cloth bag in the chest next to his bed—no point it staying there if he was going to off to war and might not come back.
“I have to go” he proclaimed. “Got to...you know. No regrets. Thanks.” With a renewed sense of purpose, Sil was walking away, a hand lifted in salutation. “ Thank you.”
There was a delivery he needed to make before dawn.
Silanos was frowning very hard at his feet as he listened to Myrrine dole out the advice that absolutely did not apply to his situation. And he wasn’t scowling because she was basically saying he could make things better or make things worse and that was not great advice really. Fuck it.
‘Either way, surely it must be better than leaving things uncertain. You never know what might happen in your absence. Everything could be different by the time you return.’
That had the young mad sigh and pushed an agitated hand through his hair, the fear at what awaited him in Egypt, making that a pertinent observation. Was it better to just lay everything out and then see where the chips fell? Silanos cut a bleary gaze toward Myrrine as she went on. He didn’t usually deal in regrets, content to leave mistakes and triumphs behind him to move on to the next adventure. It had only seemed recently that he was tripping himself over right, left and centre.
And he hadn’t looked for anything from Leto. Hadn’t tried to charm his way into her bed, she’d just sort of ended up mattering to him somehow. And even though she professed to care for Maleos, there was something there, she hadn’t been able to deny it. He’d felt oddly dejected when he’d left her house, and it had certainly contributed to the questionable decision to drink too much cheap wine and find himself in his current situation.
'There is still tonight'
There was….a few hours until dawn, Sil processed groggily as he glanced at the still-dark sky. Maybe if he…
“Alright,” the lord said decisively. “ Alright. Yeah. Fucking...I can still” He was counselling himself mostly it appeared until his gaze lifted to find Myrrine. “Yes!” A lopsided grin burst across his face, and before she knew what he was doing, he’d grabbed hold of her and planted a clumsy kiss on her. “You’re a genius. Oracle...wise..woman.”
Staggering slightly, he moved back and looked around them as if he was trying to get his bearings. He needed to get to the upper levels. Climbing in through his window wasn’t something he hadn’t managed before, and that bracelet would still be sitting in its little cloth bag in the chest next to his bed—no point it staying there if he was going to off to war and might not come back.
“I have to go” he proclaimed. “Got to...you know. No regrets. Thanks.” With a renewed sense of purpose, Sil was walking away, a hand lifted in salutation. “ Thank you.”
There was a delivery he needed to make before dawn.