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For the last few years ever since Narmer had returned, he had hung up his short sword and dutifully returned to ledgers and numbers, even if they all gave him a headache and even now two years later, he still could not grasp head or tail of the family household numbers. But Narmer tried, Gods help him he tried his best - yet when the missive came from the pharoah requesting his presence in the battalion headed out to greet the Grecian soldiers, Narmer could not help the frisson of excitement that passed through him.
His smile was, for the first time in years, genuine as he finally picked up his shelved weapon and commanded his few available servants to polish his armor and get his warhorse ready. For he felt most at ease in a fight, where he knew best what to do, and where he should put his limbs. With numbers and in a study, Narmer felt like someone with two left feet asked to dance a complicated jig, and could never find his footing. Asking him to return to a fight was like asking him to return home.
But his years spent as the head of the Hei also meant that he now had a heightened sense of responsibility, and he knew that if he just upped and left after putting in motion a few things he had thought would be able to help his Hei's dire financial straits, he would be left with an even bigger mess to clean up when he returned, then when he left. So for the last few days, Narmer had spent it tidying up the ledgers as best as he could, instructing his sister-in-law to leave them as it were (for the last time she had tried helping, it had landed them in the problem to begin with), making sure to leave concise instructions for Kissan (for he fully expected his nephew to at least oversee the household while he was gone), before making arrangements to visit Hei Sheifa.
The marriage would help his own Hei, that's for sure. He had plenty to learn from the Head of Hei, for Hei Sheifa was well known to be a hard-working family, new as they were to the noble ranks, they were the richest, and for good reason. Narmer was intent on learning as much as he could from them, if only to set things right for the sake of his father and brother's memory.
If he were to leave for war however, the least he could do was to inform them. So saddling up his warhorse so it could get in a good exercise before the proper run, Narmer reined in the chestnut gelding, before making his way towards the Mabsoot District, soon finding himself being admitted into the rich and eclectic designs of the Sheifa home.
Having requested an audience with Iaheru herself and possibly Neithotep if she was around, Narmer intended to inform them of his departure on the morrow and his likely return date. Perhaps they could arrange for the marriage to take place once he had returned? He doubted Na'meah would mind very much ensuring the marriage details were sorted out while he was gone, and she would have the twins to help her in that aspect.
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May 24, 2020 15:04:31 GMT
Posted In Dashed Hopes on May 24, 2020 15:04:31 GMT
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For the last few years ever since Narmer had returned, he had hung up his short sword and dutifully returned to ledgers and numbers, even if they all gave him a headache and even now two years later, he still could not grasp head or tail of the family household numbers. But Narmer tried, Gods help him he tried his best - yet when the missive came from the pharoah requesting his presence in the battalion headed out to greet the Grecian soldiers, Narmer could not help the frisson of excitement that passed through him.
His smile was, for the first time in years, genuine as he finally picked up his shelved weapon and commanded his few available servants to polish his armor and get his warhorse ready. For he felt most at ease in a fight, where he knew best what to do, and where he should put his limbs. With numbers and in a study, Narmer felt like someone with two left feet asked to dance a complicated jig, and could never find his footing. Asking him to return to a fight was like asking him to return home.
But his years spent as the head of the Hei also meant that he now had a heightened sense of responsibility, and he knew that if he just upped and left after putting in motion a few things he had thought would be able to help his Hei's dire financial straits, he would be left with an even bigger mess to clean up when he returned, then when he left. So for the last few days, Narmer had spent it tidying up the ledgers as best as he could, instructing his sister-in-law to leave them as it were (for the last time she had tried helping, it had landed them in the problem to begin with), making sure to leave concise instructions for Kissan (for he fully expected his nephew to at least oversee the household while he was gone), before making arrangements to visit Hei Sheifa.
The marriage would help his own Hei, that's for sure. He had plenty to learn from the Head of Hei, for Hei Sheifa was well known to be a hard-working family, new as they were to the noble ranks, they were the richest, and for good reason. Narmer was intent on learning as much as he could from them, if only to set things right for the sake of his father and brother's memory.
If he were to leave for war however, the least he could do was to inform them. So saddling up his warhorse so it could get in a good exercise before the proper run, Narmer reined in the chestnut gelding, before making his way towards the Mabsoot District, soon finding himself being admitted into the rich and eclectic designs of the Sheifa home.
Having requested an audience with Iaheru herself and possibly Neithotep if she was around, Narmer intended to inform them of his departure on the morrow and his likely return date. Perhaps they could arrange for the marriage to take place once he had returned? He doubted Na'meah would mind very much ensuring the marriage details were sorted out while he was gone, and she would have the twins to help her in that aspect.
For the last few years ever since Narmer had returned, he had hung up his short sword and dutifully returned to ledgers and numbers, even if they all gave him a headache and even now two years later, he still could not grasp head or tail of the family household numbers. But Narmer tried, Gods help him he tried his best - yet when the missive came from the pharoah requesting his presence in the battalion headed out to greet the Grecian soldiers, Narmer could not help the frisson of excitement that passed through him.
His smile was, for the first time in years, genuine as he finally picked up his shelved weapon and commanded his few available servants to polish his armor and get his warhorse ready. For he felt most at ease in a fight, where he knew best what to do, and where he should put his limbs. With numbers and in a study, Narmer felt like someone with two left feet asked to dance a complicated jig, and could never find his footing. Asking him to return to a fight was like asking him to return home.
But his years spent as the head of the Hei also meant that he now had a heightened sense of responsibility, and he knew that if he just upped and left after putting in motion a few things he had thought would be able to help his Hei's dire financial straits, he would be left with an even bigger mess to clean up when he returned, then when he left. So for the last few days, Narmer had spent it tidying up the ledgers as best as he could, instructing his sister-in-law to leave them as it were (for the last time she had tried helping, it had landed them in the problem to begin with), making sure to leave concise instructions for Kissan (for he fully expected his nephew to at least oversee the household while he was gone), before making arrangements to visit Hei Sheifa.
The marriage would help his own Hei, that's for sure. He had plenty to learn from the Head of Hei, for Hei Sheifa was well known to be a hard-working family, new as they were to the noble ranks, they were the richest, and for good reason. Narmer was intent on learning as much as he could from them, if only to set things right for the sake of his father and brother's memory.
If he were to leave for war however, the least he could do was to inform them. So saddling up his warhorse so it could get in a good exercise before the proper run, Narmer reined in the chestnut gelding, before making his way towards the Mabsoot District, soon finding himself being admitted into the rich and eclectic designs of the Sheifa home.
Having requested an audience with Iaheru herself and possibly Neithotep if she was around, Narmer intended to inform them of his departure on the morrow and his likely return date. Perhaps they could arrange for the marriage to take place once he had returned? He doubted Na'meah would mind very much ensuring the marriage details were sorted out while he was gone, and she would have the twins to help her in that aspect.
Having heard of Sirdar Narmer’s imminent arrival, Neithotep finished painting the last line of carmine across her lips before glancing in the looking glass at her reflection. She wasn’t entirely sure why he’d requested an audience with her mother, but there were a few guesses circulating in her thoughts. Further arrangements for their marriage, a call to war, how these related to each other… Whatever it was, she had requested she be allowed to speak with him alone before involving Iaheru. Much to her surprise, her mother agreed.
She knew Narmer H’Haikkadad was a good match. A Head of Hei, an accomplished warrior, a man with a good head on his shoulders... yet Nia knew their marriage would be a disaster. As good as his intentions were, as capable as he seemed, there was no spark between them. Their union would be a political match, nothing more, and that was a thought that she just couldn’t bear. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to get married; nothing could be further from the truth. But she did not want to marry a man for the sake of prestige. She wanted a loving match, one full of care and devotion on both sides. No matter how earnest he seemed, Nia just couldn’t see that sort of future with Narmer.
Not to mention that her heart already lay elsewhere. How could she marry the Sirdar knowing her true love would forever be out of her reach? Did he not deserve better? After all, marriage wouldn’t stop her from seeking comfort elsewhere; if the threat of Iahotep’s wrath lingering over her and Zoser’s heads did not halt their actions, she doubted her union with Narmer would either.
And therein lay the final problem. Iahotep. Would he set her aside if she joined her name to Narmer’s? Knowing the pharaoh as she did, she strongly doubted that would be the case. The King of Kings was a fiercely possessive man, and he would not take kindly to relinquishing his hold on her. It would not surprise her if he claimed her all the more forcefully because of it. She could not put Narmer in that position, not in good conscience. She had no wish to bring him into this.
It was with all of this tumbling around her head that she met Narmer at the door, spreading the skirt of her opulent gold kalasiris in a polite curtsy. Her smile was pretty but half-hearted, straightening back up as she greeted him, “Good afternoon, Sirdar. A pleasure to see you, as always.”
Even if that wasn’t completely true, it wasn’t his fault. He was a good man, and he deserved none of this. “My mother will be along in a little while. I asked her if I might speak to you first before she joined us. I hope you don’t mind.” Sheepishly, her smile widened a little as gestured back toward the doorway. “Perhaps you’d like to take a turn about the garden with me? Ours aren’t nearly as lovely as yours, but they’re presentable enough, I think.”
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Jun 8, 2020 20:29:18 GMT
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Having heard of Sirdar Narmer’s imminent arrival, Neithotep finished painting the last line of carmine across her lips before glancing in the looking glass at her reflection. She wasn’t entirely sure why he’d requested an audience with her mother, but there were a few guesses circulating in her thoughts. Further arrangements for their marriage, a call to war, how these related to each other… Whatever it was, she had requested she be allowed to speak with him alone before involving Iaheru. Much to her surprise, her mother agreed.
She knew Narmer H’Haikkadad was a good match. A Head of Hei, an accomplished warrior, a man with a good head on his shoulders... yet Nia knew their marriage would be a disaster. As good as his intentions were, as capable as he seemed, there was no spark between them. Their union would be a political match, nothing more, and that was a thought that she just couldn’t bear. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to get married; nothing could be further from the truth. But she did not want to marry a man for the sake of prestige. She wanted a loving match, one full of care and devotion on both sides. No matter how earnest he seemed, Nia just couldn’t see that sort of future with Narmer.
Not to mention that her heart already lay elsewhere. How could she marry the Sirdar knowing her true love would forever be out of her reach? Did he not deserve better? After all, marriage wouldn’t stop her from seeking comfort elsewhere; if the threat of Iahotep’s wrath lingering over her and Zoser’s heads did not halt their actions, she doubted her union with Narmer would either.
And therein lay the final problem. Iahotep. Would he set her aside if she joined her name to Narmer’s? Knowing the pharaoh as she did, she strongly doubted that would be the case. The King of Kings was a fiercely possessive man, and he would not take kindly to relinquishing his hold on her. It would not surprise her if he claimed her all the more forcefully because of it. She could not put Narmer in that position, not in good conscience. She had no wish to bring him into this.
It was with all of this tumbling around her head that she met Narmer at the door, spreading the skirt of her opulent gold kalasiris in a polite curtsy. Her smile was pretty but half-hearted, straightening back up as she greeted him, “Good afternoon, Sirdar. A pleasure to see you, as always.”
Even if that wasn’t completely true, it wasn’t his fault. He was a good man, and he deserved none of this. “My mother will be along in a little while. I asked her if I might speak to you first before she joined us. I hope you don’t mind.” Sheepishly, her smile widened a little as gestured back toward the doorway. “Perhaps you’d like to take a turn about the garden with me? Ours aren’t nearly as lovely as yours, but they’re presentable enough, I think.”
Having heard of Sirdar Narmer’s imminent arrival, Neithotep finished painting the last line of carmine across her lips before glancing in the looking glass at her reflection. She wasn’t entirely sure why he’d requested an audience with her mother, but there were a few guesses circulating in her thoughts. Further arrangements for their marriage, a call to war, how these related to each other… Whatever it was, she had requested she be allowed to speak with him alone before involving Iaheru. Much to her surprise, her mother agreed.
She knew Narmer H’Haikkadad was a good match. A Head of Hei, an accomplished warrior, a man with a good head on his shoulders... yet Nia knew their marriage would be a disaster. As good as his intentions were, as capable as he seemed, there was no spark between them. Their union would be a political match, nothing more, and that was a thought that she just couldn’t bear. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to get married; nothing could be further from the truth. But she did not want to marry a man for the sake of prestige. She wanted a loving match, one full of care and devotion on both sides. No matter how earnest he seemed, Nia just couldn’t see that sort of future with Narmer.
Not to mention that her heart already lay elsewhere. How could she marry the Sirdar knowing her true love would forever be out of her reach? Did he not deserve better? After all, marriage wouldn’t stop her from seeking comfort elsewhere; if the threat of Iahotep’s wrath lingering over her and Zoser’s heads did not halt their actions, she doubted her union with Narmer would either.
And therein lay the final problem. Iahotep. Would he set her aside if she joined her name to Narmer’s? Knowing the pharaoh as she did, she strongly doubted that would be the case. The King of Kings was a fiercely possessive man, and he would not take kindly to relinquishing his hold on her. It would not surprise her if he claimed her all the more forcefully because of it. She could not put Narmer in that position, not in good conscience. She had no wish to bring him into this.
It was with all of this tumbling around her head that she met Narmer at the door, spreading the skirt of her opulent gold kalasiris in a polite curtsy. Her smile was pretty but half-hearted, straightening back up as she greeted him, “Good afternoon, Sirdar. A pleasure to see you, as always.”
Even if that wasn’t completely true, it wasn’t his fault. He was a good man, and he deserved none of this. “My mother will be along in a little while. I asked her if I might speak to you first before she joined us. I hope you don’t mind.” Sheepishly, her smile widened a little as gestured back toward the doorway. “Perhaps you’d like to take a turn about the garden with me? Ours aren’t nearly as lovely as yours, but they’re presentable enough, I think.”
Waiting good-naturedly at the door once the servant had allowed him into the waiting foyer and went to fetch the ladies he had come to see, Narmer absent-mindedly noted the lavish decorations and the splendour which the saraaya was decorated in. Would he be able to restore his own Hei's household to this resplendence? As a child, he could faintly recall listening or trailing behint Nakht H'Haikaddad as he spoke to his men or people, and the sarayaa of Haikaddad had never looked the sorry state it was then. They could easily host three families or more with all furnished rooms. Yet these days, Narmer was forced to keep those rooms closed for the sake of saving coin.
With hands behind his back, he turned in surprise when the entrance of someone was made known through a ruffle of skirts, but it was to the man's surprise when it was Neithotep who showed herself, instead of Iaheru. While Narmer was quite aware he had not quite yet been able to charm the young Hei Sheifa lady he was supposed to marry, in all matters, their marriage would be one of political and convenience sake. It was clear - the Hei Haikaddad would lend their name to Hei Sheifa, and in return he got the coin for his family.
Of course, Narmer wished of love. It had been what he had seen between his parents, and between Narutt and his sister-in-law. Or he thinks he does. Sometimes, he also remembers the way in which his mother had mourned when his father had been taken in battle, and then subsequently watched Na'meah's own sorrow at the passing of his brother. Even till today, he would catch glimpses of melancholy upon his sister-in-law's face, that made Narmer question if he really wanted to take a chance. What if Osiris had decided that their family was simply cursed to never grow old with who they loved?
Love was a touchy subject, but he did know he wouldn't mistreat a wife, so to promise Iaheru he would take good care of Neithotep - that, he could do. Besides, wasn't that what most women wanted? He could promise her far more then any other man in Egypt at least. Narmer had no interest in multiple wives.
Bowing in return to her greeting, his smile was pleasant, if a little surprised at her appearance, fully expecting to see Iaheru instead. Curiosity sparkled in his eyes at her request to speak to him first, but Narmer immediately nodded his head to her request, offering an arm before following her guide to the doorway that led to their gardens. "Of course I wouldn't mind, my lady." he replied.
The warmth of the Egyptian sun was brisk as it was invigorating, and Narmer involuntarily smiled despite his eyes squinting once they stepped out, letting a soft moment of silence flow between them before he finally turned to ask. "What is it you would like to speak to me about, Lady Neithotep?"
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Jun 10, 2020 14:17:29 GMT
Posted In Dashed Hopes on Jun 10, 2020 14:17:29 GMT
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Waiting good-naturedly at the door once the servant had allowed him into the waiting foyer and went to fetch the ladies he had come to see, Narmer absent-mindedly noted the lavish decorations and the splendour which the saraaya was decorated in. Would he be able to restore his own Hei's household to this resplendence? As a child, he could faintly recall listening or trailing behint Nakht H'Haikaddad as he spoke to his men or people, and the sarayaa of Haikaddad had never looked the sorry state it was then. They could easily host three families or more with all furnished rooms. Yet these days, Narmer was forced to keep those rooms closed for the sake of saving coin.
With hands behind his back, he turned in surprise when the entrance of someone was made known through a ruffle of skirts, but it was to the man's surprise when it was Neithotep who showed herself, instead of Iaheru. While Narmer was quite aware he had not quite yet been able to charm the young Hei Sheifa lady he was supposed to marry, in all matters, their marriage would be one of political and convenience sake. It was clear - the Hei Haikaddad would lend their name to Hei Sheifa, and in return he got the coin for his family.
Of course, Narmer wished of love. It had been what he had seen between his parents, and between Narutt and his sister-in-law. Or he thinks he does. Sometimes, he also remembers the way in which his mother had mourned when his father had been taken in battle, and then subsequently watched Na'meah's own sorrow at the passing of his brother. Even till today, he would catch glimpses of melancholy upon his sister-in-law's face, that made Narmer question if he really wanted to take a chance. What if Osiris had decided that their family was simply cursed to never grow old with who they loved?
Love was a touchy subject, but he did know he wouldn't mistreat a wife, so to promise Iaheru he would take good care of Neithotep - that, he could do. Besides, wasn't that what most women wanted? He could promise her far more then any other man in Egypt at least. Narmer had no interest in multiple wives.
Bowing in return to her greeting, his smile was pleasant, if a little surprised at her appearance, fully expecting to see Iaheru instead. Curiosity sparkled in his eyes at her request to speak to him first, but Narmer immediately nodded his head to her request, offering an arm before following her guide to the doorway that led to their gardens. "Of course I wouldn't mind, my lady." he replied.
The warmth of the Egyptian sun was brisk as it was invigorating, and Narmer involuntarily smiled despite his eyes squinting once they stepped out, letting a soft moment of silence flow between them before he finally turned to ask. "What is it you would like to speak to me about, Lady Neithotep?"
Waiting good-naturedly at the door once the servant had allowed him into the waiting foyer and went to fetch the ladies he had come to see, Narmer absent-mindedly noted the lavish decorations and the splendour which the saraaya was decorated in. Would he be able to restore his own Hei's household to this resplendence? As a child, he could faintly recall listening or trailing behint Nakht H'Haikaddad as he spoke to his men or people, and the sarayaa of Haikaddad had never looked the sorry state it was then. They could easily host three families or more with all furnished rooms. Yet these days, Narmer was forced to keep those rooms closed for the sake of saving coin.
With hands behind his back, he turned in surprise when the entrance of someone was made known through a ruffle of skirts, but it was to the man's surprise when it was Neithotep who showed herself, instead of Iaheru. While Narmer was quite aware he had not quite yet been able to charm the young Hei Sheifa lady he was supposed to marry, in all matters, their marriage would be one of political and convenience sake. It was clear - the Hei Haikaddad would lend their name to Hei Sheifa, and in return he got the coin for his family.
Of course, Narmer wished of love. It had been what he had seen between his parents, and between Narutt and his sister-in-law. Or he thinks he does. Sometimes, he also remembers the way in which his mother had mourned when his father had been taken in battle, and then subsequently watched Na'meah's own sorrow at the passing of his brother. Even till today, he would catch glimpses of melancholy upon his sister-in-law's face, that made Narmer question if he really wanted to take a chance. What if Osiris had decided that their family was simply cursed to never grow old with who they loved?
Love was a touchy subject, but he did know he wouldn't mistreat a wife, so to promise Iaheru he would take good care of Neithotep - that, he could do. Besides, wasn't that what most women wanted? He could promise her far more then any other man in Egypt at least. Narmer had no interest in multiple wives.
Bowing in return to her greeting, his smile was pleasant, if a little surprised at her appearance, fully expecting to see Iaheru instead. Curiosity sparkled in his eyes at her request to speak to him first, but Narmer immediately nodded his head to her request, offering an arm before following her guide to the doorway that led to their gardens. "Of course I wouldn't mind, my lady." he replied.
The warmth of the Egyptian sun was brisk as it was invigorating, and Narmer involuntarily smiled despite his eyes squinting once they stepped out, letting a soft moment of silence flow between them before he finally turned to ask. "What is it you would like to speak to me about, Lady Neithotep?"
His smile of greeting nearly made her want to cry, a twinge of guilt squeezing her heart. How invested in this was he? Was he prepared to tie his life to hers until death? Did he even care for her or was this all simply to bolster his own family’s dying prestige? Nia hoped for his sake that it was the latter and that what she had to say wouldn’t wound him too deeply.
Clasping Narmer’s arm when he offered, she briefly returned his smile before turning her gaze to her footsteps. She was not a woman that enjoyed confrontation, and she could only pray this conversation went better than she feared it would. What if he was angry? What if he stormed out and spread lies about her family? What if this ruined Hei Sheifa’s reputation even further after the scandal with Sutekh? Was she really making the right choice?
Briefly, an image of Zoser’s dimpled smile filled her mind, soon followed by the wrathful face of Iahotep, and she knew she was.
It was quiet as they walked through the garden, Nia taking what little joy she could in the aroma of the surrounding flowers. How could she even begin to broach what she needed to say? Should she tell him everything or keep it all vague? What sort of honesty did she owe this man? Did she simply tell him she didn’t want to marry him and leave it at that?
No, he deserved better. Perhaps not the whole truth, but at least a semblance of it.
When he asked her what she wanted to talk about, Nia braced herself, standing up a little straighter and biting her lip. “I… wanted to talk to you about our marriage, Sirdar,” she began, her voice hesitant and unsure. “And I wished to do it without any extra eyes or ears.”
Swallowing hard, she stopped walking, removing her hand from his arm to turn and face him. Grasping both of his hands in hers instead, she gently squeezed his fingers. “I…” she trailed off again and she fought for the right words to say, the best way to convey what she needed to tell him. Was it better to dance around the subject until she got to where she needed or simply dive right in?
Better to just go for the heart of it, I think.
“I… I cannot marry you, my lord, I’m sorry,” she finally said, dropping her gaze from his to hide the tears in her eyes. “You’re a decent man with a good heart, and you… you do not deserve the complications that will come from marrying a woman like me.” She shook her head with a heavy sigh. “I cannot tell you everything, but what I can tell you is that I… I am in love with someone else.” Daring to glance up to meet his eyes with a little more confidence than before, she went on, “I won’t… can’t… tell you who, but I can tell you it is more than just some fling. I can’t promise my heart or my body to you when I will always wish it was promised to another. Perhaps it is foolish and petty of me when I am surely not the only woman in history to have feelings for someone who isn’t her husband, but there are… other reasons too, Sirdar.” Here, she hesitated a moment longer, her face tight in her discomfort. “Reasons that would put me in danger. Reasons that would put you in danger. Please understand that I… I can’t say much else.”
Iahotep would likely have her tongue for even such a vague admission, and she was glad she had chosen the secluded gardens to have this conversation. What Narmer would do with this information, she didn’t know, but hopefully he would recognize her urgency and her honesty for what it was. “I am so sorry, Lord Narmer. I wish things were different, but… here we are.”
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His smile of greeting nearly made her want to cry, a twinge of guilt squeezing her heart. How invested in this was he? Was he prepared to tie his life to hers until death? Did he even care for her or was this all simply to bolster his own family’s dying prestige? Nia hoped for his sake that it was the latter and that what she had to say wouldn’t wound him too deeply.
Clasping Narmer’s arm when he offered, she briefly returned his smile before turning her gaze to her footsteps. She was not a woman that enjoyed confrontation, and she could only pray this conversation went better than she feared it would. What if he was angry? What if he stormed out and spread lies about her family? What if this ruined Hei Sheifa’s reputation even further after the scandal with Sutekh? Was she really making the right choice?
Briefly, an image of Zoser’s dimpled smile filled her mind, soon followed by the wrathful face of Iahotep, and she knew she was.
It was quiet as they walked through the garden, Nia taking what little joy she could in the aroma of the surrounding flowers. How could she even begin to broach what she needed to say? Should she tell him everything or keep it all vague? What sort of honesty did she owe this man? Did she simply tell him she didn’t want to marry him and leave it at that?
No, he deserved better. Perhaps not the whole truth, but at least a semblance of it.
When he asked her what she wanted to talk about, Nia braced herself, standing up a little straighter and biting her lip. “I… wanted to talk to you about our marriage, Sirdar,” she began, her voice hesitant and unsure. “And I wished to do it without any extra eyes or ears.”
Swallowing hard, she stopped walking, removing her hand from his arm to turn and face him. Grasping both of his hands in hers instead, she gently squeezed his fingers. “I…” she trailed off again and she fought for the right words to say, the best way to convey what she needed to tell him. Was it better to dance around the subject until she got to where she needed or simply dive right in?
Better to just go for the heart of it, I think.
“I… I cannot marry you, my lord, I’m sorry,” she finally said, dropping her gaze from his to hide the tears in her eyes. “You’re a decent man with a good heart, and you… you do not deserve the complications that will come from marrying a woman like me.” She shook her head with a heavy sigh. “I cannot tell you everything, but what I can tell you is that I… I am in love with someone else.” Daring to glance up to meet his eyes with a little more confidence than before, she went on, “I won’t… can’t… tell you who, but I can tell you it is more than just some fling. I can’t promise my heart or my body to you when I will always wish it was promised to another. Perhaps it is foolish and petty of me when I am surely not the only woman in history to have feelings for someone who isn’t her husband, but there are… other reasons too, Sirdar.” Here, she hesitated a moment longer, her face tight in her discomfort. “Reasons that would put me in danger. Reasons that would put you in danger. Please understand that I… I can’t say much else.”
Iahotep would likely have her tongue for even such a vague admission, and she was glad she had chosen the secluded gardens to have this conversation. What Narmer would do with this information, she didn’t know, but hopefully he would recognize her urgency and her honesty for what it was. “I am so sorry, Lord Narmer. I wish things were different, but… here we are.”
His smile of greeting nearly made her want to cry, a twinge of guilt squeezing her heart. How invested in this was he? Was he prepared to tie his life to hers until death? Did he even care for her or was this all simply to bolster his own family’s dying prestige? Nia hoped for his sake that it was the latter and that what she had to say wouldn’t wound him too deeply.
Clasping Narmer’s arm when he offered, she briefly returned his smile before turning her gaze to her footsteps. She was not a woman that enjoyed confrontation, and she could only pray this conversation went better than she feared it would. What if he was angry? What if he stormed out and spread lies about her family? What if this ruined Hei Sheifa’s reputation even further after the scandal with Sutekh? Was she really making the right choice?
Briefly, an image of Zoser’s dimpled smile filled her mind, soon followed by the wrathful face of Iahotep, and she knew she was.
It was quiet as they walked through the garden, Nia taking what little joy she could in the aroma of the surrounding flowers. How could she even begin to broach what she needed to say? Should she tell him everything or keep it all vague? What sort of honesty did she owe this man? Did she simply tell him she didn’t want to marry him and leave it at that?
No, he deserved better. Perhaps not the whole truth, but at least a semblance of it.
When he asked her what she wanted to talk about, Nia braced herself, standing up a little straighter and biting her lip. “I… wanted to talk to you about our marriage, Sirdar,” she began, her voice hesitant and unsure. “And I wished to do it without any extra eyes or ears.”
Swallowing hard, she stopped walking, removing her hand from his arm to turn and face him. Grasping both of his hands in hers instead, she gently squeezed his fingers. “I…” she trailed off again and she fought for the right words to say, the best way to convey what she needed to tell him. Was it better to dance around the subject until she got to where she needed or simply dive right in?
Better to just go for the heart of it, I think.
“I… I cannot marry you, my lord, I’m sorry,” she finally said, dropping her gaze from his to hide the tears in her eyes. “You’re a decent man with a good heart, and you… you do not deserve the complications that will come from marrying a woman like me.” She shook her head with a heavy sigh. “I cannot tell you everything, but what I can tell you is that I… I am in love with someone else.” Daring to glance up to meet his eyes with a little more confidence than before, she went on, “I won’t… can’t… tell you who, but I can tell you it is more than just some fling. I can’t promise my heart or my body to you when I will always wish it was promised to another. Perhaps it is foolish and petty of me when I am surely not the only woman in history to have feelings for someone who isn’t her husband, but there are… other reasons too, Sirdar.” Here, she hesitated a moment longer, her face tight in her discomfort. “Reasons that would put me in danger. Reasons that would put you in danger. Please understand that I… I can’t say much else.”
Iahotep would likely have her tongue for even such a vague admission, and she was glad she had chosen the secluded gardens to have this conversation. What Narmer would do with this information, she didn’t know, but hopefully he would recognize her urgency and her honesty for what it was. “I am so sorry, Lord Narmer. I wish things were different, but… here we are.”
Did Narmer want a love match? Maybe when he was younger, he did. And as a man, he had the choice to choose who he wanted to marry. He had watched Narutt eschew the normal of the Egyptian nobility to marry a Bedoan lady, so that was the example he had wished to follow. But following the death of the two rolemodels in his life, Narmer went on a spree of flings, and when he returned, the state of the Hei and the family saraaya was more then enough to show Narmer he had no chance to find a love match, only a match who could bring enough money to the table for his family. It was either that, or marry off his two nieces, and while he wasn't opposed to that either, it was far easier to work on himself first.
So despite himself, Narmer would choose his wife based on their ability to bring in the gold needed for him to rebuild his Hei. Did he know how to? Not entirely. But the logic dictated that he needed money first before figuring out the 'how', so that was what Narmer had started off doing.
Not that he would mistreat his wife of course. Narmer's heart was gentle, as was his actions and demeanour - but that didn't mean he would promise to be faithful, for who could tell who Hathor had in plans for him when he was now choosing the first one in line to marry him based on how rich they were.
Keeping the silence as they walked, Narmer wondered if things would be different after he left for war. Egyptian weddings were no quick matter, but it was still difficult when he had to leave for war before they had even finalized the decision with her family. It was such thoughts that were interupted when she suddenly spoke up, the uncertainty making Narmer raise a brow and turning his full focus on her. Identifying her uncertainty and hesitant nature made the man curious, but even if he had guessed, he woudn't have guessed what she actually said.
Narmer had actually been quite fully convinced Neithotep was fine for the marriage, even if she wasn't entirely agreeable to it. It was a marriage of convenience for both ends, as Iaheru wished for her wildchild of a daughter to be taken care of by someone else - yet Narmer was someone who respected a woman's wishes. Of course, if he insisted, as did Iaheru, Neithotep would have no say in it - but perhaps that was why she spoke to him instead of her mother?
His face obviously fell the moment she mentioned the rejection, his problems of his family Hei coming to scream back at him in the back of his mind. He had counted on the marriage and the gold her dowry would bring him. What was he to do now? Narmer would likely get a hefty payment from the pharoah from participating in the war - but that was if he returned from the war to begin with. Yet when Neithotep brought up loving someone else, even if Narmer had thought of insisting the marriage went through anyway, he couldn't the moment she glanced up with those intense eyes.
When she spoke of danger, Narmer couldn't help but be curious, wondering who exactlyw as this she spoke of that would bring him and his family danger by marriage alone. Fidelity wasn't something that was a norm in Egypt, so it made Narmer far more curious, but from the way she spoke and hesitated, he doubted he would have a chance to pry such information out from her.
So despite himself, Narmer held his tongue, considering his words as a silence settled between them, before he cleared his throat as he tried to find his voice. "I suppose... I should respect your wishes, my lady. I have to say, I wasn't expecting our marriage to be one of promise to another - but I shall respect your wishes, Lady Neithotep." he paused, and then took a step back from her, his hands behind him as he asked. "Have you spoken to your mother?" Would he have to speak to Iaheru on her behalf? He wasn't sure if the sirdsett to Hei Sheifa knew of her daughter's wishes.
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Jun 22, 2020 3:09:30 GMT
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Did Narmer want a love match? Maybe when he was younger, he did. And as a man, he had the choice to choose who he wanted to marry. He had watched Narutt eschew the normal of the Egyptian nobility to marry a Bedoan lady, so that was the example he had wished to follow. But following the death of the two rolemodels in his life, Narmer went on a spree of flings, and when he returned, the state of the Hei and the family saraaya was more then enough to show Narmer he had no chance to find a love match, only a match who could bring enough money to the table for his family. It was either that, or marry off his two nieces, and while he wasn't opposed to that either, it was far easier to work on himself first.
So despite himself, Narmer would choose his wife based on their ability to bring in the gold needed for him to rebuild his Hei. Did he know how to? Not entirely. But the logic dictated that he needed money first before figuring out the 'how', so that was what Narmer had started off doing.
Not that he would mistreat his wife of course. Narmer's heart was gentle, as was his actions and demeanour - but that didn't mean he would promise to be faithful, for who could tell who Hathor had in plans for him when he was now choosing the first one in line to marry him based on how rich they were.
Keeping the silence as they walked, Narmer wondered if things would be different after he left for war. Egyptian weddings were no quick matter, but it was still difficult when he had to leave for war before they had even finalized the decision with her family. It was such thoughts that were interupted when she suddenly spoke up, the uncertainty making Narmer raise a brow and turning his full focus on her. Identifying her uncertainty and hesitant nature made the man curious, but even if he had guessed, he woudn't have guessed what she actually said.
Narmer had actually been quite fully convinced Neithotep was fine for the marriage, even if she wasn't entirely agreeable to it. It was a marriage of convenience for both ends, as Iaheru wished for her wildchild of a daughter to be taken care of by someone else - yet Narmer was someone who respected a woman's wishes. Of course, if he insisted, as did Iaheru, Neithotep would have no say in it - but perhaps that was why she spoke to him instead of her mother?
His face obviously fell the moment she mentioned the rejection, his problems of his family Hei coming to scream back at him in the back of his mind. He had counted on the marriage and the gold her dowry would bring him. What was he to do now? Narmer would likely get a hefty payment from the pharoah from participating in the war - but that was if he returned from the war to begin with. Yet when Neithotep brought up loving someone else, even if Narmer had thought of insisting the marriage went through anyway, he couldn't the moment she glanced up with those intense eyes.
When she spoke of danger, Narmer couldn't help but be curious, wondering who exactlyw as this she spoke of that would bring him and his family danger by marriage alone. Fidelity wasn't something that was a norm in Egypt, so it made Narmer far more curious, but from the way she spoke and hesitated, he doubted he would have a chance to pry such information out from her.
So despite himself, Narmer held his tongue, considering his words as a silence settled between them, before he cleared his throat as he tried to find his voice. "I suppose... I should respect your wishes, my lady. I have to say, I wasn't expecting our marriage to be one of promise to another - but I shall respect your wishes, Lady Neithotep." he paused, and then took a step back from her, his hands behind him as he asked. "Have you spoken to your mother?" Would he have to speak to Iaheru on her behalf? He wasn't sure if the sirdsett to Hei Sheifa knew of her daughter's wishes.
Did Narmer want a love match? Maybe when he was younger, he did. And as a man, he had the choice to choose who he wanted to marry. He had watched Narutt eschew the normal of the Egyptian nobility to marry a Bedoan lady, so that was the example he had wished to follow. But following the death of the two rolemodels in his life, Narmer went on a spree of flings, and when he returned, the state of the Hei and the family saraaya was more then enough to show Narmer he had no chance to find a love match, only a match who could bring enough money to the table for his family. It was either that, or marry off his two nieces, and while he wasn't opposed to that either, it was far easier to work on himself first.
So despite himself, Narmer would choose his wife based on their ability to bring in the gold needed for him to rebuild his Hei. Did he know how to? Not entirely. But the logic dictated that he needed money first before figuring out the 'how', so that was what Narmer had started off doing.
Not that he would mistreat his wife of course. Narmer's heart was gentle, as was his actions and demeanour - but that didn't mean he would promise to be faithful, for who could tell who Hathor had in plans for him when he was now choosing the first one in line to marry him based on how rich they were.
Keeping the silence as they walked, Narmer wondered if things would be different after he left for war. Egyptian weddings were no quick matter, but it was still difficult when he had to leave for war before they had even finalized the decision with her family. It was such thoughts that were interupted when she suddenly spoke up, the uncertainty making Narmer raise a brow and turning his full focus on her. Identifying her uncertainty and hesitant nature made the man curious, but even if he had guessed, he woudn't have guessed what she actually said.
Narmer had actually been quite fully convinced Neithotep was fine for the marriage, even if she wasn't entirely agreeable to it. It was a marriage of convenience for both ends, as Iaheru wished for her wildchild of a daughter to be taken care of by someone else - yet Narmer was someone who respected a woman's wishes. Of course, if he insisted, as did Iaheru, Neithotep would have no say in it - but perhaps that was why she spoke to him instead of her mother?
His face obviously fell the moment she mentioned the rejection, his problems of his family Hei coming to scream back at him in the back of his mind. He had counted on the marriage and the gold her dowry would bring him. What was he to do now? Narmer would likely get a hefty payment from the pharoah from participating in the war - but that was if he returned from the war to begin with. Yet when Neithotep brought up loving someone else, even if Narmer had thought of insisting the marriage went through anyway, he couldn't the moment she glanced up with those intense eyes.
When she spoke of danger, Narmer couldn't help but be curious, wondering who exactlyw as this she spoke of that would bring him and his family danger by marriage alone. Fidelity wasn't something that was a norm in Egypt, so it made Narmer far more curious, but from the way she spoke and hesitated, he doubted he would have a chance to pry such information out from her.
So despite himself, Narmer held his tongue, considering his words as a silence settled between them, before he cleared his throat as he tried to find his voice. "I suppose... I should respect your wishes, my lady. I have to say, I wasn't expecting our marriage to be one of promise to another - but I shall respect your wishes, Lady Neithotep." he paused, and then took a step back from her, his hands behind him as he asked. "Have you spoken to your mother?" Would he have to speak to Iaheru on her behalf? He wasn't sure if the sirdsett to Hei Sheifa knew of her daughter's wishes.
The look on the Sirdar’s face when she made her pronouncement made her stomach clench, the crestfallen expression prompting a vague sense of guilt for what she’d brought him here to say. She nearly tried to soothe him when she saw that sense of despair, but wisely assumed comfort coming from her would be… inappropriate. How often did someone reach out to coddle the one they were turning away?
Nia’s shoulders shook in a heaving sigh of relief when Narmer did not immediately refuse her nor raise his voice in anger, his expression of disappointment turning to one of resignation. It was such a far cry from the man who so mistreated her that she nearly took it all back. Would marriage to the Sirdar of Hei Haikkadad truly be so bad? After all, she quite liked his nieces, and he wasn’t such a disagreeable person. There were many advantages to the union, advantages which had brought about the talks for it in the first place. But no, she couldn’t willingly submit to a marriage of convenience like this. The young noblewoman refused to simply settle for what her parents wanted, no matter what leverage they would gain. Not when she still had the choice.
“Thank you, my lord,” she practically stumbled over her words in her gratitude, taking his hands even as he pulled away. Kissing both of them in turn, she let them drop back to his sides and straightened her own posture. Of all the ways she had imagined this conversation would go, she was eternally grateful that this was the outcome. All she could hope for now was that he didn’t suddenly turn bitter against her and make her earlier fears come true. “Thank you so much for your understanding. You have no idea what this means to me.”
When he asked if she had spoken with her mother before telling him this, she nodded sheepishly. “Yes, Sirdar, I did, not long after we left your home. She was not… thrilled, but she understood. As you can understand, it’s why I asked if I could speak with you today before she joined us.” A somewhat sad smile rested on Nia’s lips. “I thought you deserved to hear it directly from my own lips, rather than hers.”
Hesitant, she stepped back and looked away, back toward the door that led out into the garden. “Do you… still wish to speak with her? I’m not really sure what the official protocol is now for a situation like this.” Her chuckle was half-hearted at best, subconsciously rubbing at one of her arms.
Turning her gaze back to his, she sighed. “I just want you to know it’s not… personal, all right? I have nothing against you, my lord, I promise. If circumstances were different, I’m sure my decision would be, too.”
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Jun 29, 2020 22:58:37 GMT
Posted In Dashed Hopes on Jun 29, 2020 22:58:37 GMT
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The look on the Sirdar’s face when she made her pronouncement made her stomach clench, the crestfallen expression prompting a vague sense of guilt for what she’d brought him here to say. She nearly tried to soothe him when she saw that sense of despair, but wisely assumed comfort coming from her would be… inappropriate. How often did someone reach out to coddle the one they were turning away?
Nia’s shoulders shook in a heaving sigh of relief when Narmer did not immediately refuse her nor raise his voice in anger, his expression of disappointment turning to one of resignation. It was such a far cry from the man who so mistreated her that she nearly took it all back. Would marriage to the Sirdar of Hei Haikkadad truly be so bad? After all, she quite liked his nieces, and he wasn’t such a disagreeable person. There were many advantages to the union, advantages which had brought about the talks for it in the first place. But no, she couldn’t willingly submit to a marriage of convenience like this. The young noblewoman refused to simply settle for what her parents wanted, no matter what leverage they would gain. Not when she still had the choice.
“Thank you, my lord,” she practically stumbled over her words in her gratitude, taking his hands even as he pulled away. Kissing both of them in turn, she let them drop back to his sides and straightened her own posture. Of all the ways she had imagined this conversation would go, she was eternally grateful that this was the outcome. All she could hope for now was that he didn’t suddenly turn bitter against her and make her earlier fears come true. “Thank you so much for your understanding. You have no idea what this means to me.”
When he asked if she had spoken with her mother before telling him this, she nodded sheepishly. “Yes, Sirdar, I did, not long after we left your home. She was not… thrilled, but she understood. As you can understand, it’s why I asked if I could speak with you today before she joined us.” A somewhat sad smile rested on Nia’s lips. “I thought you deserved to hear it directly from my own lips, rather than hers.”
Hesitant, she stepped back and looked away, back toward the door that led out into the garden. “Do you… still wish to speak with her? I’m not really sure what the official protocol is now for a situation like this.” Her chuckle was half-hearted at best, subconsciously rubbing at one of her arms.
Turning her gaze back to his, she sighed. “I just want you to know it’s not… personal, all right? I have nothing against you, my lord, I promise. If circumstances were different, I’m sure my decision would be, too.”
The look on the Sirdar’s face when she made her pronouncement made her stomach clench, the crestfallen expression prompting a vague sense of guilt for what she’d brought him here to say. She nearly tried to soothe him when she saw that sense of despair, but wisely assumed comfort coming from her would be… inappropriate. How often did someone reach out to coddle the one they were turning away?
Nia’s shoulders shook in a heaving sigh of relief when Narmer did not immediately refuse her nor raise his voice in anger, his expression of disappointment turning to one of resignation. It was such a far cry from the man who so mistreated her that she nearly took it all back. Would marriage to the Sirdar of Hei Haikkadad truly be so bad? After all, she quite liked his nieces, and he wasn’t such a disagreeable person. There were many advantages to the union, advantages which had brought about the talks for it in the first place. But no, she couldn’t willingly submit to a marriage of convenience like this. The young noblewoman refused to simply settle for what her parents wanted, no matter what leverage they would gain. Not when she still had the choice.
“Thank you, my lord,” she practically stumbled over her words in her gratitude, taking his hands even as he pulled away. Kissing both of them in turn, she let them drop back to his sides and straightened her own posture. Of all the ways she had imagined this conversation would go, she was eternally grateful that this was the outcome. All she could hope for now was that he didn’t suddenly turn bitter against her and make her earlier fears come true. “Thank you so much for your understanding. You have no idea what this means to me.”
When he asked if she had spoken with her mother before telling him this, she nodded sheepishly. “Yes, Sirdar, I did, not long after we left your home. She was not… thrilled, but she understood. As you can understand, it’s why I asked if I could speak with you today before she joined us.” A somewhat sad smile rested on Nia’s lips. “I thought you deserved to hear it directly from my own lips, rather than hers.”
Hesitant, she stepped back and looked away, back toward the door that led out into the garden. “Do you… still wish to speak with her? I’m not really sure what the official protocol is now for a situation like this.” Her chuckle was half-hearted at best, subconsciously rubbing at one of her arms.
Turning her gaze back to his, she sighed. “I just want you to know it’s not… personal, all right? I have nothing against you, my lord, I promise. If circumstances were different, I’m sure my decision would be, too.”
He had never been one prone to anger. But perhaps that was why this whole 'finding a wife' thing was difficult? Both the pharoah and Osorsen seemed to be easily prone to bouts of emotion, yet they seem to have a never ending supply of women who wanted to be their wife. Although, the fact that his Hei was sorely in need of money was probably one of the reasons, Narmer never did publicize such information. Despite so however, anyone who took a closer look at their saraaya should be able to deduce their current condition, if the servants they had to let go didn't start blabbing already.
But despite his growing disappointment, he couldn't yell at Neithotep. She did not seem mean spirited, nor did she come off as intentionally doing such a thing to string Narmer along, so all Narmer could do was nod. How could he force someone into marriage, when it would be a lifelong commitment? Neither party would be happy.
While he knew it should only be proper for him to have a meeting with Iaheru, have a proper conversation so both Hei's would still be on good terms even if the supposed engagement had now fallen through, he did not think he wished to. The awkward apologies from Neithotep was bad enough for him to endure, he did not wish to hear more of it spout from Iaheru. He was good friends with the Sirdsett, but even he had his limits.
So in response to Neithotep's offer, Narmer merely gave a wry laugh, but shook his head, and took another step back. That Iaheru had readily agreed to her daughter's refusal to proceed with the marriage... that was another stepping stone he had to come to terms with himself. He always knew Narutt had been the better candidate when it came to marriages. The marriage-minded mother's of their court had always swooned over his older brother as responsible, handsome, tall, polite... all the qualities of a great husband. They had mourned when he took a Bedoan wife. So did he not have the same qualities, that would pass off for a good husband for someone, even if it was but a business transaction?
Conflicted even within himself, Narmer wished to be alone, if only to clear his head, and suddenly the fact that he was going to war the next day seemed like a great thing. Nothing like blood, sweat, and fighting to stay alive to distract him.
"No, Lady Neithotep. I appreciate the offer, but I do not think there is a need to speak to Sirdsett Iaheru any longer. Do extend my best wishes to her, Sirdar Onuphrious and your siblings, however. I wish to meet again as friends, once I return."
With another flourish of a bow, Narmer turned and walked towards his waiting horse. While his face remained composed, and no one would be able to tell the swelling disappointment within him, it was telltale in the hell-for-leather way he rode, as well as in the way he did not make it home till dawn.
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Jul 4, 2020 15:46:45 GMT
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He had never been one prone to anger. But perhaps that was why this whole 'finding a wife' thing was difficult? Both the pharoah and Osorsen seemed to be easily prone to bouts of emotion, yet they seem to have a never ending supply of women who wanted to be their wife. Although, the fact that his Hei was sorely in need of money was probably one of the reasons, Narmer never did publicize such information. Despite so however, anyone who took a closer look at their saraaya should be able to deduce their current condition, if the servants they had to let go didn't start blabbing already.
But despite his growing disappointment, he couldn't yell at Neithotep. She did not seem mean spirited, nor did she come off as intentionally doing such a thing to string Narmer along, so all Narmer could do was nod. How could he force someone into marriage, when it would be a lifelong commitment? Neither party would be happy.
While he knew it should only be proper for him to have a meeting with Iaheru, have a proper conversation so both Hei's would still be on good terms even if the supposed engagement had now fallen through, he did not think he wished to. The awkward apologies from Neithotep was bad enough for him to endure, he did not wish to hear more of it spout from Iaheru. He was good friends with the Sirdsett, but even he had his limits.
So in response to Neithotep's offer, Narmer merely gave a wry laugh, but shook his head, and took another step back. That Iaheru had readily agreed to her daughter's refusal to proceed with the marriage... that was another stepping stone he had to come to terms with himself. He always knew Narutt had been the better candidate when it came to marriages. The marriage-minded mother's of their court had always swooned over his older brother as responsible, handsome, tall, polite... all the qualities of a great husband. They had mourned when he took a Bedoan wife. So did he not have the same qualities, that would pass off for a good husband for someone, even if it was but a business transaction?
Conflicted even within himself, Narmer wished to be alone, if only to clear his head, and suddenly the fact that he was going to war the next day seemed like a great thing. Nothing like blood, sweat, and fighting to stay alive to distract him.
"No, Lady Neithotep. I appreciate the offer, but I do not think there is a need to speak to Sirdsett Iaheru any longer. Do extend my best wishes to her, Sirdar Onuphrious and your siblings, however. I wish to meet again as friends, once I return."
With another flourish of a bow, Narmer turned and walked towards his waiting horse. While his face remained composed, and no one would be able to tell the swelling disappointment within him, it was telltale in the hell-for-leather way he rode, as well as in the way he did not make it home till dawn.
He had never been one prone to anger. But perhaps that was why this whole 'finding a wife' thing was difficult? Both the pharoah and Osorsen seemed to be easily prone to bouts of emotion, yet they seem to have a never ending supply of women who wanted to be their wife. Although, the fact that his Hei was sorely in need of money was probably one of the reasons, Narmer never did publicize such information. Despite so however, anyone who took a closer look at their saraaya should be able to deduce their current condition, if the servants they had to let go didn't start blabbing already.
But despite his growing disappointment, he couldn't yell at Neithotep. She did not seem mean spirited, nor did she come off as intentionally doing such a thing to string Narmer along, so all Narmer could do was nod. How could he force someone into marriage, when it would be a lifelong commitment? Neither party would be happy.
While he knew it should only be proper for him to have a meeting with Iaheru, have a proper conversation so both Hei's would still be on good terms even if the supposed engagement had now fallen through, he did not think he wished to. The awkward apologies from Neithotep was bad enough for him to endure, he did not wish to hear more of it spout from Iaheru. He was good friends with the Sirdsett, but even he had his limits.
So in response to Neithotep's offer, Narmer merely gave a wry laugh, but shook his head, and took another step back. That Iaheru had readily agreed to her daughter's refusal to proceed with the marriage... that was another stepping stone he had to come to terms with himself. He always knew Narutt had been the better candidate when it came to marriages. The marriage-minded mother's of their court had always swooned over his older brother as responsible, handsome, tall, polite... all the qualities of a great husband. They had mourned when he took a Bedoan wife. So did he not have the same qualities, that would pass off for a good husband for someone, even if it was but a business transaction?
Conflicted even within himself, Narmer wished to be alone, if only to clear his head, and suddenly the fact that he was going to war the next day seemed like a great thing. Nothing like blood, sweat, and fighting to stay alive to distract him.
"No, Lady Neithotep. I appreciate the offer, but I do not think there is a need to speak to Sirdsett Iaheru any longer. Do extend my best wishes to her, Sirdar Onuphrious and your siblings, however. I wish to meet again as friends, once I return."
With another flourish of a bow, Narmer turned and walked towards his waiting horse. While his face remained composed, and no one would be able to tell the swelling disappointment within him, it was telltale in the hell-for-leather way he rode, as well as in the way he did not make it home till dawn.