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Kesi was watching one of the new merchants sell her wares. Callidora was her name. Kesi remembered because the meeting went pretty okay. And she was interesting. She seemed to talk very well for a Greek. Kesi was Egyptian and she didn’t talk very well at all. She was fine when she was in performance mode. But in normal Kesi mode, she didn’t really communicate clearly.
It had to do with connections. Kesi didn’t really understand people and their emotions. She often had the exact opposite reaction of what was expected. She’d laugh if she was supposed to cry, or get angry if she was supposed to be very happy. Socializing was just… confusing.
But this girl sold things. And she sold a lot of things! She talked to so many people every day and she managed to get them to leave with more than they expected to. And she made it look easy and fun! Kesi would have spent most of the day thinking about how she was going to murder the person in front of her, but Callidora instead turned an annoying customer into a profitable one. And she did it with a smile!
Kesi had been watching her all day. Even when she wasn’t at her booth selling. She’d stalk Callidora from a distance. Her eyes never once left her target. This almost reminded her of when she was studying with Krieos. He wasn’t much of a talker. Kesi would have to watch what he did and try to mimic it. The problem here was more… how do you mimic talking to people? Should she try to hold herself like Callidora did?
Kesi pulled her shoulders a little farther back. Yeah, this was more confident! But was it confidence that Kesi was lacking? She felt confident when she talked. It was just that she was usually wrong and Kesi didn’t really know why. Why was this so difficult?
Oh, she’s moving!
She looked like she was packing her things to go. It had been a long day of watching, but it wasn’t over yet. Maybe she had some ritual she did. Maybe she did crazy Greek magic that made it so she could talk to people super easily. Maybe she practiced after work! Maybe Kesi could be a witch just like her! Yeah, that would be cool! And then she could use her powers to help her brother!
Tip toe, tip toe, Kesi had to be super careful not to be seen. She ducked behind tents and around corners. Tip toe, tip toe. Oh no! Where did she go? Kesi looked around. She had glanced away for one second and sudde-
“Ah!” Kesi jumped when she realized she was right close to Callidora. Her eyes grew wide and guilty. She really is a witch. Oh no. Kesi was going to get cursed, wasn’t she? The girl hung her head and stared at the ground. “I wasn’t following you I swear. I just thought you talked good and I wanted to talk like you do. Pleasanton’tcurseme.” Her words came out jumbled at the end and she bit her lip.
But she’s going to teach me. Kesi looked back up at her now. “Give me speech lessons instead!”
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Oh, that’s how you do it?
Kesi was watching one of the new merchants sell her wares. Callidora was her name. Kesi remembered because the meeting went pretty okay. And she was interesting. She seemed to talk very well for a Greek. Kesi was Egyptian and she didn’t talk very well at all. She was fine when she was in performance mode. But in normal Kesi mode, she didn’t really communicate clearly.
It had to do with connections. Kesi didn’t really understand people and their emotions. She often had the exact opposite reaction of what was expected. She’d laugh if she was supposed to cry, or get angry if she was supposed to be very happy. Socializing was just… confusing.
But this girl sold things. And she sold a lot of things! She talked to so many people every day and she managed to get them to leave with more than they expected to. And she made it look easy and fun! Kesi would have spent most of the day thinking about how she was going to murder the person in front of her, but Callidora instead turned an annoying customer into a profitable one. And she did it with a smile!
Kesi had been watching her all day. Even when she wasn’t at her booth selling. She’d stalk Callidora from a distance. Her eyes never once left her target. This almost reminded her of when she was studying with Krieos. He wasn’t much of a talker. Kesi would have to watch what he did and try to mimic it. The problem here was more… how do you mimic talking to people? Should she try to hold herself like Callidora did?
Kesi pulled her shoulders a little farther back. Yeah, this was more confident! But was it confidence that Kesi was lacking? She felt confident when she talked. It was just that she was usually wrong and Kesi didn’t really know why. Why was this so difficult?
Oh, she’s moving!
She looked like she was packing her things to go. It had been a long day of watching, but it wasn’t over yet. Maybe she had some ritual she did. Maybe she did crazy Greek magic that made it so she could talk to people super easily. Maybe she practiced after work! Maybe Kesi could be a witch just like her! Yeah, that would be cool! And then she could use her powers to help her brother!
Tip toe, tip toe, Kesi had to be super careful not to be seen. She ducked behind tents and around corners. Tip toe, tip toe. Oh no! Where did she go? Kesi looked around. She had glanced away for one second and sudde-
“Ah!” Kesi jumped when she realized she was right close to Callidora. Her eyes grew wide and guilty. She really is a witch. Oh no. Kesi was going to get cursed, wasn’t she? The girl hung her head and stared at the ground. “I wasn’t following you I swear. I just thought you talked good and I wanted to talk like you do. Pleasanton’tcurseme.” Her words came out jumbled at the end and she bit her lip.
But she’s going to teach me. Kesi looked back up at her now. “Give me speech lessons instead!”
Oh, that’s how you do it?
Kesi was watching one of the new merchants sell her wares. Callidora was her name. Kesi remembered because the meeting went pretty okay. And she was interesting. She seemed to talk very well for a Greek. Kesi was Egyptian and she didn’t talk very well at all. She was fine when she was in performance mode. But in normal Kesi mode, she didn’t really communicate clearly.
It had to do with connections. Kesi didn’t really understand people and their emotions. She often had the exact opposite reaction of what was expected. She’d laugh if she was supposed to cry, or get angry if she was supposed to be very happy. Socializing was just… confusing.
But this girl sold things. And she sold a lot of things! She talked to so many people every day and she managed to get them to leave with more than they expected to. And she made it look easy and fun! Kesi would have spent most of the day thinking about how she was going to murder the person in front of her, but Callidora instead turned an annoying customer into a profitable one. And she did it with a smile!
Kesi had been watching her all day. Even when she wasn’t at her booth selling. She’d stalk Callidora from a distance. Her eyes never once left her target. This almost reminded her of when she was studying with Krieos. He wasn’t much of a talker. Kesi would have to watch what he did and try to mimic it. The problem here was more… how do you mimic talking to people? Should she try to hold herself like Callidora did?
Kesi pulled her shoulders a little farther back. Yeah, this was more confident! But was it confidence that Kesi was lacking? She felt confident when she talked. It was just that she was usually wrong and Kesi didn’t really know why. Why was this so difficult?
Oh, she’s moving!
She looked like she was packing her things to go. It had been a long day of watching, but it wasn’t over yet. Maybe she had some ritual she did. Maybe she did crazy Greek magic that made it so she could talk to people super easily. Maybe she practiced after work! Maybe Kesi could be a witch just like her! Yeah, that would be cool! And then she could use her powers to help her brother!
Tip toe, tip toe, Kesi had to be super careful not to be seen. She ducked behind tents and around corners. Tip toe, tip toe. Oh no! Where did she go? Kesi looked around. She had glanced away for one second and sudde-
“Ah!” Kesi jumped when she realized she was right close to Callidora. Her eyes grew wide and guilty. She really is a witch. Oh no. Kesi was going to get cursed, wasn’t she? The girl hung her head and stared at the ground. “I wasn’t following you I swear. I just thought you talked good and I wanted to talk like you do. Pleasanton’tcurseme.” Her words came out jumbled at the end and she bit her lip.
But she’s going to teach me. Kesi looked back up at her now. “Give me speech lessons instead!”
All day long, Callidora had felt the tickling sensation of eyes on her, but every time she cast a glance over her shoulder, she found nothing there. The woman had never really been prone to bouts of paranoia, but her time in Egypt had been… chaotic. Perhaps it was just getting to her. Shrugging it off after a while as her own imagination playing tricks, the merchant went about her day and pretended nothing was amiss.
Finally, late in the evening when she was wrapping up her sales for the day, Dora managed to catch a small figure in the corner of her eye, the dark-haired woman named Kesi who had accompanied her and Amenemhat in their first meeting. Acting as if she didn’t notice for now, she finished wrapping up her wares, tucking them away and securing them in the chests she brought before loading them onto her wagon—a sleek new cart that didn’t rattle anywhere near as much as the old one. With her new connections, she could finally afford it, along with a brand new wardrobe a beautiful new room. Life was finally on its way up, and she thanked the gods every day for her recent fortune.
But this… she didn’t like this. When they met, the snake charmer had struck her as a little odd, but following her around? Spying from the shadows? What was this about? She wondered if Kesi was doing it at the behest of the ringmaster, if, for some reason, he distrusted her. Granted, they hadn’t known each other very long, and he could be simply covering his assets, but if this was the method he chose of doing that, Callidora would have a few words for him.
Waiting until she was sure Kesi wasn’t watching, Dora slipped quickly through the other vendors’ stalls until she was right behind her, leaning in close so her voice was right by the other woman’s ear.
“Why are you following me?” she asked abruptly, Kesi turning with a startled exclamation. As she went on to defend herself, claim she wasn’t following her, Dora’s eyebrow raised into her forehead. She ‘talked good?’ That’s what this was about? What in the world…?
Pleasanton’tcurseme.
That drew a snort of unexpected laughter from her, taking a step back as she eyed the snake charmer. Did she think she was a witch? Part of her thought she ought to let her hold onto the notion; perhaps it would keep her from doing something like this again. “I’m not going to curse you,” was her dry response, disabusing her of that idea, while letting the thought of her being a witch remain. It didn’t hurt to have a little leverage.
Give me speech lessons instead!
Once more, Callidora was taken aback, her mouth dropping open a little at the sudden request. Speech lessons? What was she talking about? And what an odd way of going about asking someone for a favor…
“What do you mean by speech lessons?” she asked, bewildered. “Do you want to learn Greek or something…?” Brows drawing together in a frown, she crossed her arms over her chest. “If that’s all you wanted, there are far more polite ways of asking, you know. Rather than just… watching someone all day.”
Had anyone ever taught this girl manners? Gods above, was that somehow about to fall to her too?
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All day long, Callidora had felt the tickling sensation of eyes on her, but every time she cast a glance over her shoulder, she found nothing there. The woman had never really been prone to bouts of paranoia, but her time in Egypt had been… chaotic. Perhaps it was just getting to her. Shrugging it off after a while as her own imagination playing tricks, the merchant went about her day and pretended nothing was amiss.
Finally, late in the evening when she was wrapping up her sales for the day, Dora managed to catch a small figure in the corner of her eye, the dark-haired woman named Kesi who had accompanied her and Amenemhat in their first meeting. Acting as if she didn’t notice for now, she finished wrapping up her wares, tucking them away and securing them in the chests she brought before loading them onto her wagon—a sleek new cart that didn’t rattle anywhere near as much as the old one. With her new connections, she could finally afford it, along with a brand new wardrobe a beautiful new room. Life was finally on its way up, and she thanked the gods every day for her recent fortune.
But this… she didn’t like this. When they met, the snake charmer had struck her as a little odd, but following her around? Spying from the shadows? What was this about? She wondered if Kesi was doing it at the behest of the ringmaster, if, for some reason, he distrusted her. Granted, they hadn’t known each other very long, and he could be simply covering his assets, but if this was the method he chose of doing that, Callidora would have a few words for him.
Waiting until she was sure Kesi wasn’t watching, Dora slipped quickly through the other vendors’ stalls until she was right behind her, leaning in close so her voice was right by the other woman’s ear.
“Why are you following me?” she asked abruptly, Kesi turning with a startled exclamation. As she went on to defend herself, claim she wasn’t following her, Dora’s eyebrow raised into her forehead. She ‘talked good?’ That’s what this was about? What in the world…?
Pleasanton’tcurseme.
That drew a snort of unexpected laughter from her, taking a step back as she eyed the snake charmer. Did she think she was a witch? Part of her thought she ought to let her hold onto the notion; perhaps it would keep her from doing something like this again. “I’m not going to curse you,” was her dry response, disabusing her of that idea, while letting the thought of her being a witch remain. It didn’t hurt to have a little leverage.
Give me speech lessons instead!
Once more, Callidora was taken aback, her mouth dropping open a little at the sudden request. Speech lessons? What was she talking about? And what an odd way of going about asking someone for a favor…
“What do you mean by speech lessons?” she asked, bewildered. “Do you want to learn Greek or something…?” Brows drawing together in a frown, she crossed her arms over her chest. “If that’s all you wanted, there are far more polite ways of asking, you know. Rather than just… watching someone all day.”
Had anyone ever taught this girl manners? Gods above, was that somehow about to fall to her too?
All day long, Callidora had felt the tickling sensation of eyes on her, but every time she cast a glance over her shoulder, she found nothing there. The woman had never really been prone to bouts of paranoia, but her time in Egypt had been… chaotic. Perhaps it was just getting to her. Shrugging it off after a while as her own imagination playing tricks, the merchant went about her day and pretended nothing was amiss.
Finally, late in the evening when she was wrapping up her sales for the day, Dora managed to catch a small figure in the corner of her eye, the dark-haired woman named Kesi who had accompanied her and Amenemhat in their first meeting. Acting as if she didn’t notice for now, she finished wrapping up her wares, tucking them away and securing them in the chests she brought before loading them onto her wagon—a sleek new cart that didn’t rattle anywhere near as much as the old one. With her new connections, she could finally afford it, along with a brand new wardrobe a beautiful new room. Life was finally on its way up, and she thanked the gods every day for her recent fortune.
But this… she didn’t like this. When they met, the snake charmer had struck her as a little odd, but following her around? Spying from the shadows? What was this about? She wondered if Kesi was doing it at the behest of the ringmaster, if, for some reason, he distrusted her. Granted, they hadn’t known each other very long, and he could be simply covering his assets, but if this was the method he chose of doing that, Callidora would have a few words for him.
Waiting until she was sure Kesi wasn’t watching, Dora slipped quickly through the other vendors’ stalls until she was right behind her, leaning in close so her voice was right by the other woman’s ear.
“Why are you following me?” she asked abruptly, Kesi turning with a startled exclamation. As she went on to defend herself, claim she wasn’t following her, Dora’s eyebrow raised into her forehead. She ‘talked good?’ That’s what this was about? What in the world…?
Pleasanton’tcurseme.
That drew a snort of unexpected laughter from her, taking a step back as she eyed the snake charmer. Did she think she was a witch? Part of her thought she ought to let her hold onto the notion; perhaps it would keep her from doing something like this again. “I’m not going to curse you,” was her dry response, disabusing her of that idea, while letting the thought of her being a witch remain. It didn’t hurt to have a little leverage.
Give me speech lessons instead!
Once more, Callidora was taken aback, her mouth dropping open a little at the sudden request. Speech lessons? What was she talking about? And what an odd way of going about asking someone for a favor…
“What do you mean by speech lessons?” she asked, bewildered. “Do you want to learn Greek or something…?” Brows drawing together in a frown, she crossed her arms over her chest. “If that’s all you wanted, there are far more polite ways of asking, you know. Rather than just… watching someone all day.”
Had anyone ever taught this girl manners? Gods above, was that somehow about to fall to her too?
What did she mean learn Greek? Maybe she didn’t know Coptic very well. But that was weird because she had been talking all day. And she knew Coptic really well! Sure, she had an accent, but she was able to do business with apparent ease.
Or maybe this was Kesi and her failings again. Did she say something weird? Did she speak incorrectly? This was the problem. Kesi spoke clearly and in ways that made perfect sense to Kesi. But it seems time and time again the only person who understands her was her brother. But why? What is Kesi doing wrong?
She frowned and bit her lip. Kesi shook her head. “I know Greek,” she replied in Greek. She may not know it perfectly, but she learned her poisons from a Greek man, grew up in Alexandria, and got lessons from a Greek sailor. “I don’t speak well though.”
Kesi began rocking back and forth on her feet. When she was a performer she was fine. She could be eloquent. It required her concentration. But even in this conversation where she was concentrating she wasn’t doing good. Why? What’s wrong with Kesi. “People don’t get me. I want people to understand me. People understand you! You sold lots and lots of things today! But… I dunno.”
She lifted her shoulders and dropped it disappointed. Kesi just wanted to know what this key she was apparently missing was. It never bothered her before, not until her brother had questioned her about her ability to recruit. And while he gave her a chance with Callidora, and invited her into the tent to talk business, it did open her eyes to a problem she didn’t realize she had before. Kesi had friends outside of the circus. She had a best friend! Nia! Kesi thought she understood people well, and they understood her.
But thinking back at it, what if people were just placating her? Was it easier to smile and nod at Kesi than actually listen to what she had to say? Was Kesi… weird? Kesi didn’t care about what other people thought aside from Nem. But the ability to talk and connect to people was paramount to an entertainer. And with Kesi’s goal to always be better in order to serve Nem, this was exactly what she needed to do.
What if Dora still didn’t understand that? Kesi had to explain things better, didn’t she? “I…” What does she say? She would typically stop at that. She scrunched her face up, trying to organize her fast-moving thoughts. “I think people just… nod their head at me, but they don’t really listen. Do you know what I mean? But people listened to you! I watched you all day and people kept buying more and more. Even people who said they were just looking! And it’s because you’re a really good talker. I’m only good when I’m working. And it’s… the hardest part of my job.” Snakes were easy. Kesi understood snakes and they understood her. She’d rather be thrown into a pit of the most venomous snakes than have to have a conversation. Maybe before that wouldn’t be the case. But now?
Kesi was a failure.
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What did she mean learn Greek? Maybe she didn’t know Coptic very well. But that was weird because she had been talking all day. And she knew Coptic really well! Sure, she had an accent, but she was able to do business with apparent ease.
Or maybe this was Kesi and her failings again. Did she say something weird? Did she speak incorrectly? This was the problem. Kesi spoke clearly and in ways that made perfect sense to Kesi. But it seems time and time again the only person who understands her was her brother. But why? What is Kesi doing wrong?
She frowned and bit her lip. Kesi shook her head. “I know Greek,” she replied in Greek. She may not know it perfectly, but she learned her poisons from a Greek man, grew up in Alexandria, and got lessons from a Greek sailor. “I don’t speak well though.”
Kesi began rocking back and forth on her feet. When she was a performer she was fine. She could be eloquent. It required her concentration. But even in this conversation where she was concentrating she wasn’t doing good. Why? What’s wrong with Kesi. “People don’t get me. I want people to understand me. People understand you! You sold lots and lots of things today! But… I dunno.”
She lifted her shoulders and dropped it disappointed. Kesi just wanted to know what this key she was apparently missing was. It never bothered her before, not until her brother had questioned her about her ability to recruit. And while he gave her a chance with Callidora, and invited her into the tent to talk business, it did open her eyes to a problem she didn’t realize she had before. Kesi had friends outside of the circus. She had a best friend! Nia! Kesi thought she understood people well, and they understood her.
But thinking back at it, what if people were just placating her? Was it easier to smile and nod at Kesi than actually listen to what she had to say? Was Kesi… weird? Kesi didn’t care about what other people thought aside from Nem. But the ability to talk and connect to people was paramount to an entertainer. And with Kesi’s goal to always be better in order to serve Nem, this was exactly what she needed to do.
What if Dora still didn’t understand that? Kesi had to explain things better, didn’t she? “I…” What does she say? She would typically stop at that. She scrunched her face up, trying to organize her fast-moving thoughts. “I think people just… nod their head at me, but they don’t really listen. Do you know what I mean? But people listened to you! I watched you all day and people kept buying more and more. Even people who said they were just looking! And it’s because you’re a really good talker. I’m only good when I’m working. And it’s… the hardest part of my job.” Snakes were easy. Kesi understood snakes and they understood her. She’d rather be thrown into a pit of the most venomous snakes than have to have a conversation. Maybe before that wouldn’t be the case. But now?
Kesi was a failure.
What did she mean learn Greek? Maybe she didn’t know Coptic very well. But that was weird because she had been talking all day. And she knew Coptic really well! Sure, she had an accent, but she was able to do business with apparent ease.
Or maybe this was Kesi and her failings again. Did she say something weird? Did she speak incorrectly? This was the problem. Kesi spoke clearly and in ways that made perfect sense to Kesi. But it seems time and time again the only person who understands her was her brother. But why? What is Kesi doing wrong?
She frowned and bit her lip. Kesi shook her head. “I know Greek,” she replied in Greek. She may not know it perfectly, but she learned her poisons from a Greek man, grew up in Alexandria, and got lessons from a Greek sailor. “I don’t speak well though.”
Kesi began rocking back and forth on her feet. When she was a performer she was fine. She could be eloquent. It required her concentration. But even in this conversation where she was concentrating she wasn’t doing good. Why? What’s wrong with Kesi. “People don’t get me. I want people to understand me. People understand you! You sold lots and lots of things today! But… I dunno.”
She lifted her shoulders and dropped it disappointed. Kesi just wanted to know what this key she was apparently missing was. It never bothered her before, not until her brother had questioned her about her ability to recruit. And while he gave her a chance with Callidora, and invited her into the tent to talk business, it did open her eyes to a problem she didn’t realize she had before. Kesi had friends outside of the circus. She had a best friend! Nia! Kesi thought she understood people well, and they understood her.
But thinking back at it, what if people were just placating her? Was it easier to smile and nod at Kesi than actually listen to what she had to say? Was Kesi… weird? Kesi didn’t care about what other people thought aside from Nem. But the ability to talk and connect to people was paramount to an entertainer. And with Kesi’s goal to always be better in order to serve Nem, this was exactly what she needed to do.
What if Dora still didn’t understand that? Kesi had to explain things better, didn’t she? “I…” What does she say? She would typically stop at that. She scrunched her face up, trying to organize her fast-moving thoughts. “I think people just… nod their head at me, but they don’t really listen. Do you know what I mean? But people listened to you! I watched you all day and people kept buying more and more. Even people who said they were just looking! And it’s because you’re a really good talker. I’m only good when I’m working. And it’s… the hardest part of my job.” Snakes were easy. Kesi understood snakes and they understood her. She’d rather be thrown into a pit of the most venomous snakes than have to have a conversation. Maybe before that wouldn’t be the case. But now?
Kesi was a failure.
Callidora was… bewildered. When she finally understood what it was that Kesi was asking, that bewilderment did not lessen much. She wanted her to teach her how to… speak? She wasn’t really sure it was something that could be taught; it was a skill she had picked up on her own after years at her late husband’s side. Time spent watching him and learning the behaviors of others had contributed to her success, learning to read people’s body language in order to interpret how the situation should proceed. It was a valuable skill to have in her line of work, but to consciously teach it to another, much less in another language… she wasn’t sure she was really up to the task.
But there was a certain despondency in Kesi’s face, something that tugged at the Grecian’s woman’s heartstrings. She looked so sad at her self-awareness, that she was just a bit off and people didn’t seem to understand her. Dora was sure she could teach her to make sales; after all, she had mentored Myrrine for years. Teaching her how to present herself, though? She wasn’t so sure.
“I…” Ironically, Dora was at a loss for words, her mouth partly slightly as she looked at Kesi and desperately tried to think of what she could say. Should she just deny her outright, tell her she didn’t really know what to do? Or could she just… figured it out along the way? In spite of her odd demeanor, that ‘offness’ that Kesi said seemed to repel others, there was something so innocent about the younger woman, something that pulled at the maternal instincts Callidora tried so hard to smother.
“I can try to teach you, I suppose,” she finally murmured, her brows drawing together in a slight frown. She didn’t sound particularly convinced, but it wasn’t a refusal. “Though, I have to warn you, I have taught others the ins and outs of a merchant’s trade before, but I have never focused on just… how to talk. I don’t know that I can be of any help, but I will do my best.”
Shrugging, a half-smile tilted Dora’s lips. “First lesson, I suppose, is confidence. Even if you don’t feel confident, you have to project it. I imagine it’s much in the same in performing as it is in sales. People like a person that seems sure of herself.” Well, they liked men that seemed sure of themselves. Women often had to take a more demure approach, but she would broach that subject a different time. “As confident as you are around your snakes, you must simply take that and… apply it to people. While I wouldn’t offer this advice to most,” Dora said with a laugh, “Maybe pretend they are just snakes. I have seen you talk to your snakes before. You don’t seem to have trouble with them.”
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Callidora was… bewildered. When she finally understood what it was that Kesi was asking, that bewilderment did not lessen much. She wanted her to teach her how to… speak? She wasn’t really sure it was something that could be taught; it was a skill she had picked up on her own after years at her late husband’s side. Time spent watching him and learning the behaviors of others had contributed to her success, learning to read people’s body language in order to interpret how the situation should proceed. It was a valuable skill to have in her line of work, but to consciously teach it to another, much less in another language… she wasn’t sure she was really up to the task.
But there was a certain despondency in Kesi’s face, something that tugged at the Grecian’s woman’s heartstrings. She looked so sad at her self-awareness, that she was just a bit off and people didn’t seem to understand her. Dora was sure she could teach her to make sales; after all, she had mentored Myrrine for years. Teaching her how to present herself, though? She wasn’t so sure.
“I…” Ironically, Dora was at a loss for words, her mouth partly slightly as she looked at Kesi and desperately tried to think of what she could say. Should she just deny her outright, tell her she didn’t really know what to do? Or could she just… figured it out along the way? In spite of her odd demeanor, that ‘offness’ that Kesi said seemed to repel others, there was something so innocent about the younger woman, something that pulled at the maternal instincts Callidora tried so hard to smother.
“I can try to teach you, I suppose,” she finally murmured, her brows drawing together in a slight frown. She didn’t sound particularly convinced, but it wasn’t a refusal. “Though, I have to warn you, I have taught others the ins and outs of a merchant’s trade before, but I have never focused on just… how to talk. I don’t know that I can be of any help, but I will do my best.”
Shrugging, a half-smile tilted Dora’s lips. “First lesson, I suppose, is confidence. Even if you don’t feel confident, you have to project it. I imagine it’s much in the same in performing as it is in sales. People like a person that seems sure of herself.” Well, they liked men that seemed sure of themselves. Women often had to take a more demure approach, but she would broach that subject a different time. “As confident as you are around your snakes, you must simply take that and… apply it to people. While I wouldn’t offer this advice to most,” Dora said with a laugh, “Maybe pretend they are just snakes. I have seen you talk to your snakes before. You don’t seem to have trouble with them.”
Callidora was… bewildered. When she finally understood what it was that Kesi was asking, that bewilderment did not lessen much. She wanted her to teach her how to… speak? She wasn’t really sure it was something that could be taught; it was a skill she had picked up on her own after years at her late husband’s side. Time spent watching him and learning the behaviors of others had contributed to her success, learning to read people’s body language in order to interpret how the situation should proceed. It was a valuable skill to have in her line of work, but to consciously teach it to another, much less in another language… she wasn’t sure she was really up to the task.
But there was a certain despondency in Kesi’s face, something that tugged at the Grecian’s woman’s heartstrings. She looked so sad at her self-awareness, that she was just a bit off and people didn’t seem to understand her. Dora was sure she could teach her to make sales; after all, she had mentored Myrrine for years. Teaching her how to present herself, though? She wasn’t so sure.
“I…” Ironically, Dora was at a loss for words, her mouth partly slightly as she looked at Kesi and desperately tried to think of what she could say. Should she just deny her outright, tell her she didn’t really know what to do? Or could she just… figured it out along the way? In spite of her odd demeanor, that ‘offness’ that Kesi said seemed to repel others, there was something so innocent about the younger woman, something that pulled at the maternal instincts Callidora tried so hard to smother.
“I can try to teach you, I suppose,” she finally murmured, her brows drawing together in a slight frown. She didn’t sound particularly convinced, but it wasn’t a refusal. “Though, I have to warn you, I have taught others the ins and outs of a merchant’s trade before, but I have never focused on just… how to talk. I don’t know that I can be of any help, but I will do my best.”
Shrugging, a half-smile tilted Dora’s lips. “First lesson, I suppose, is confidence. Even if you don’t feel confident, you have to project it. I imagine it’s much in the same in performing as it is in sales. People like a person that seems sure of herself.” Well, they liked men that seemed sure of themselves. Women often had to take a more demure approach, but she would broach that subject a different time. “As confident as you are around your snakes, you must simply take that and… apply it to people. While I wouldn’t offer this advice to most,” Dora said with a laugh, “Maybe pretend they are just snakes. I have seen you talk to your snakes before. You don’t seem to have trouble with them.”
Kesi had confidence… typically. She was really confident! Kesi wasn’t afraid of anything. The world was weird, and different, but that’s what made it fun. If Kesi was afraid then she wouldn’t be Kesi. Well, no that’s not true. She couldn’t sometimes be scared. The people in the Temple of Set were kinda scary. And disappointing her brother was so scary that just the thought could send her into a cold sweat.
But just talking wasn’t scary. She felt fine when she talked. She felt… great, even. But it was only now that she realized that things were weird. It wasn’t because of confidence. It was… because of Kesi. Kesi was weird, wasn’t she? She was probably really weird…
“I talk confidently!” Kesi nodded. “But… that doesn’t stop people being all confused! I say one thing and people think other things! And then I try really, really hard to get them to understand and they just say ‘Okay, Kesi’ and pat me on the shoulder and send me on my way. People don’t listen. It has nothing to do with confidence!”
And it hurt. Not that Kesi would say anything. But it was like she was being bullied the world. It wasn’t fair either! What if people thought Kesi was dumb? Never mind that she learned about poisons at ten. Never mind that she can glance at a flower and not only say where it came from but what proprieties made it useful. Never mind that she learned how to tame snakes. Never mind any of that. Because when Kesi opened her mouth, nothing she said mattered.
And it shouldn’t bother her. Her brother was all that mattered, and he listened. But he doubted her and her ability to keep patient and talk to others. And even if he was willing to give her a shot… her brother more than anyone knew how to examine people’s strengths and weaknesses. And it made Kesi open her eyes.
She looked sad as she glanced down at the sand. What if she couldn’t actually help her? Dora gave her that warning. She’s not asking how to sell, she just… wanted to talk in a way that people don’t disregard her. Just like Dora. And her brother. And Delia. And everyone around her.
“Um, I could pretend people are snakes. Snakes are really easy to talk to. But I think it’s because they don’t talk back. And I train them. I poke them and I prod them and feed them and take of them and they learn. I can’t do that with people. People just… I dunno.” This was unusual coming from Kesi. She was a girl with varying emotions. She could get angry or frustrated or excited or happy… but it wasn’t typically sad or defeated. Her voice just sounded so… disheartened.
In part, this was because she knew there was an issue… but she didn’t know why. And how do you fix something when you don’t know what’s even broken? “Am I weird, Miss? I don’t think so. I think I’m like everyone else. But do you know you’re weird if you’re weird?”
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Kesi had confidence… typically. She was really confident! Kesi wasn’t afraid of anything. The world was weird, and different, but that’s what made it fun. If Kesi was afraid then she wouldn’t be Kesi. Well, no that’s not true. She couldn’t sometimes be scared. The people in the Temple of Set were kinda scary. And disappointing her brother was so scary that just the thought could send her into a cold sweat.
But just talking wasn’t scary. She felt fine when she talked. She felt… great, even. But it was only now that she realized that things were weird. It wasn’t because of confidence. It was… because of Kesi. Kesi was weird, wasn’t she? She was probably really weird…
“I talk confidently!” Kesi nodded. “But… that doesn’t stop people being all confused! I say one thing and people think other things! And then I try really, really hard to get them to understand and they just say ‘Okay, Kesi’ and pat me on the shoulder and send me on my way. People don’t listen. It has nothing to do with confidence!”
And it hurt. Not that Kesi would say anything. But it was like she was being bullied the world. It wasn’t fair either! What if people thought Kesi was dumb? Never mind that she learned about poisons at ten. Never mind that she can glance at a flower and not only say where it came from but what proprieties made it useful. Never mind that she learned how to tame snakes. Never mind any of that. Because when Kesi opened her mouth, nothing she said mattered.
And it shouldn’t bother her. Her brother was all that mattered, and he listened. But he doubted her and her ability to keep patient and talk to others. And even if he was willing to give her a shot… her brother more than anyone knew how to examine people’s strengths and weaknesses. And it made Kesi open her eyes.
She looked sad as she glanced down at the sand. What if she couldn’t actually help her? Dora gave her that warning. She’s not asking how to sell, she just… wanted to talk in a way that people don’t disregard her. Just like Dora. And her brother. And Delia. And everyone around her.
“Um, I could pretend people are snakes. Snakes are really easy to talk to. But I think it’s because they don’t talk back. And I train them. I poke them and I prod them and feed them and take of them and they learn. I can’t do that with people. People just… I dunno.” This was unusual coming from Kesi. She was a girl with varying emotions. She could get angry or frustrated or excited or happy… but it wasn’t typically sad or defeated. Her voice just sounded so… disheartened.
In part, this was because she knew there was an issue… but she didn’t know why. And how do you fix something when you don’t know what’s even broken? “Am I weird, Miss? I don’t think so. I think I’m like everyone else. But do you know you’re weird if you’re weird?”
Kesi had confidence… typically. She was really confident! Kesi wasn’t afraid of anything. The world was weird, and different, but that’s what made it fun. If Kesi was afraid then she wouldn’t be Kesi. Well, no that’s not true. She couldn’t sometimes be scared. The people in the Temple of Set were kinda scary. And disappointing her brother was so scary that just the thought could send her into a cold sweat.
But just talking wasn’t scary. She felt fine when she talked. She felt… great, even. But it was only now that she realized that things were weird. It wasn’t because of confidence. It was… because of Kesi. Kesi was weird, wasn’t she? She was probably really weird…
“I talk confidently!” Kesi nodded. “But… that doesn’t stop people being all confused! I say one thing and people think other things! And then I try really, really hard to get them to understand and they just say ‘Okay, Kesi’ and pat me on the shoulder and send me on my way. People don’t listen. It has nothing to do with confidence!”
And it hurt. Not that Kesi would say anything. But it was like she was being bullied the world. It wasn’t fair either! What if people thought Kesi was dumb? Never mind that she learned about poisons at ten. Never mind that she can glance at a flower and not only say where it came from but what proprieties made it useful. Never mind that she learned how to tame snakes. Never mind any of that. Because when Kesi opened her mouth, nothing she said mattered.
And it shouldn’t bother her. Her brother was all that mattered, and he listened. But he doubted her and her ability to keep patient and talk to others. And even if he was willing to give her a shot… her brother more than anyone knew how to examine people’s strengths and weaknesses. And it made Kesi open her eyes.
She looked sad as she glanced down at the sand. What if she couldn’t actually help her? Dora gave her that warning. She’s not asking how to sell, she just… wanted to talk in a way that people don’t disregard her. Just like Dora. And her brother. And Delia. And everyone around her.
“Um, I could pretend people are snakes. Snakes are really easy to talk to. But I think it’s because they don’t talk back. And I train them. I poke them and I prod them and feed them and take of them and they learn. I can’t do that with people. People just… I dunno.” This was unusual coming from Kesi. She was a girl with varying emotions. She could get angry or frustrated or excited or happy… but it wasn’t typically sad or defeated. Her voice just sounded so… disheartened.
In part, this was because she knew there was an issue… but she didn’t know why. And how do you fix something when you don’t know what’s even broken? “Am I weird, Miss? I don’t think so. I think I’m like everyone else. But do you know you’re weird if you’re weird?”
As Kesi spoke, Callidora was once more at a loss for what to say. She sounded so sad, so downtrodden, that the Grecian woman’s heart instantly went out to her. She, too, knew what it felt like to be an outsider, to be disregarded and ignored simply for the accident of her birth. In Egypt, especially, she had felt such ostracization—for her nationality, for her gender, for her sexuality. But, she still endured, because that’s all she knew how to do. Endure.
But Kesi… while she could relate to the feelings the woman portrayed, they were for vastly different reasons. There was something off about the woman, something just strange enough to give one an uneasy feeling down their spine. She couldn’t just say that, though, not without crushing her. How can you tell someone they’re weird without hurting their feelings? While Dora could be blunt, she was not cruel. She had no desire to trample on the woman, particularly when she already seemed so down.
“Who among us is truly normal?” she said instead, a cheap brushoff, but what else could she really say? “Normalcy is overrated, anyway. No one gets anywhere in life by being normal. And look what all you’ve done so far! Not many can say they have the courage to tame snakes and travel with a circus. I’d say you’re already doing pretty well, ‘weird’ or not.”
Cocking her head, she considered the other woman. She did have some self-awareness, at least, and if she was truly insane, that likely wouldn’t have been there. Maybe she wasn’t quite as weird as she thought she was, but then again, Callidora also didn’t know her very well. She was only working on assumptions at this point.
“There are ways to present yourself that won’t come off as strange, but I think it’s something that’s more easily… corrected than initially taught. What kinds of things do you say that you notice make people pull away?” There, that seemed like a good starting point. She doubted she could change Kesi, but perhaps she could refine her a little. “Have you noticed any common themes, any common topics that seem to make people stop listening?”
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As Kesi spoke, Callidora was once more at a loss for what to say. She sounded so sad, so downtrodden, that the Grecian woman’s heart instantly went out to her. She, too, knew what it felt like to be an outsider, to be disregarded and ignored simply for the accident of her birth. In Egypt, especially, she had felt such ostracization—for her nationality, for her gender, for her sexuality. But, she still endured, because that’s all she knew how to do. Endure.
But Kesi… while she could relate to the feelings the woman portrayed, they were for vastly different reasons. There was something off about the woman, something just strange enough to give one an uneasy feeling down their spine. She couldn’t just say that, though, not without crushing her. How can you tell someone they’re weird without hurting their feelings? While Dora could be blunt, she was not cruel. She had no desire to trample on the woman, particularly when she already seemed so down.
“Who among us is truly normal?” she said instead, a cheap brushoff, but what else could she really say? “Normalcy is overrated, anyway. No one gets anywhere in life by being normal. And look what all you’ve done so far! Not many can say they have the courage to tame snakes and travel with a circus. I’d say you’re already doing pretty well, ‘weird’ or not.”
Cocking her head, she considered the other woman. She did have some self-awareness, at least, and if she was truly insane, that likely wouldn’t have been there. Maybe she wasn’t quite as weird as she thought she was, but then again, Callidora also didn’t know her very well. She was only working on assumptions at this point.
“There are ways to present yourself that won’t come off as strange, but I think it’s something that’s more easily… corrected than initially taught. What kinds of things do you say that you notice make people pull away?” There, that seemed like a good starting point. She doubted she could change Kesi, but perhaps she could refine her a little. “Have you noticed any common themes, any common topics that seem to make people stop listening?”
As Kesi spoke, Callidora was once more at a loss for what to say. She sounded so sad, so downtrodden, that the Grecian woman’s heart instantly went out to her. She, too, knew what it felt like to be an outsider, to be disregarded and ignored simply for the accident of her birth. In Egypt, especially, she had felt such ostracization—for her nationality, for her gender, for her sexuality. But, she still endured, because that’s all she knew how to do. Endure.
But Kesi… while she could relate to the feelings the woman portrayed, they were for vastly different reasons. There was something off about the woman, something just strange enough to give one an uneasy feeling down their spine. She couldn’t just say that, though, not without crushing her. How can you tell someone they’re weird without hurting their feelings? While Dora could be blunt, she was not cruel. She had no desire to trample on the woman, particularly when she already seemed so down.
“Who among us is truly normal?” she said instead, a cheap brushoff, but what else could she really say? “Normalcy is overrated, anyway. No one gets anywhere in life by being normal. And look what all you’ve done so far! Not many can say they have the courage to tame snakes and travel with a circus. I’d say you’re already doing pretty well, ‘weird’ or not.”
Cocking her head, she considered the other woman. She did have some self-awareness, at least, and if she was truly insane, that likely wouldn’t have been there. Maybe she wasn’t quite as weird as she thought she was, but then again, Callidora also didn’t know her very well. She was only working on assumptions at this point.
“There are ways to present yourself that won’t come off as strange, but I think it’s something that’s more easily… corrected than initially taught. What kinds of things do you say that you notice make people pull away?” There, that seemed like a good starting point. She doubted she could change Kesi, but perhaps she could refine her a little. “Have you noticed any common themes, any common topics that seem to make people stop listening?”
Any common themes… topics…
Kesi had to think and really think. The problem was… Kesi didn’t know of any common themes she did talk about. She was entirely random. Whatever came to her mind she did. Whatever she thought to say she said it. There was barely any correlation. People were just… off-put by her.
What a waste of space.
That’s what papa said the night he died. She was a waste of space. He was mean. He was the biggest bully of all. He deserved to die. He was awful. But, was he telling the truth? Was Kesi a waste of space? Was that why she struggled?
Kesi didn’t know what to say. This lady was being nice. She was talking to her. She was trying to help her. But she didn’t want to say what papa said. She didn’t want to look pathetic. And she didn’t want her to think maybe Kesi was and then walk away. Kesi didn’t know after all. What if she wasn’t? Nem didn’t seem to think she was, at least that’s what Kesi thought. So then that means she isn’t… right?
What makes you think you’ll be so good at it, Kesi? Nem had said this to her when she asked if she could recruit. He wasn’t mean, he wasn’t embarrassing her. He was asking. But when Kesi offered to make poisons to sell for the circus, he didn’t ask her that. When Kesi began extracting venom, he didn’t ask her that. He knew she knew. There was never any doubt in Nem’s mind of his sister’s abilities. He didn’t tell Kesi no, but Kesi had not already made it clear that it was an easy yes.
What a waste of space.
“I… don’t know.” She finally admitted. She looked to the ground and kicked some sand. She chewed on her lip as she thought. “It happens a lot. All my life. Papa never listened, but that’s okay. He’s dead. But I had friends before the circus. They were bullies. Really mean. When I came to the circus some people were mean. But a lot of people were nice! Delia listens a lot. She’s good at listening. Miri’s too busy listening to the gods, but sometimes we can talk and it’s good. Aelius is really fun to talk to! But when I go outside of the circus I only have one really good friend. And I don’t see her too often. Everyone else is like, oh look there’s Kesi! Better walk the other way! She might try talking and that’s not something we want to deal with!”
But Kesi would approach them anyway. She would smile and talk because Kesi wasn’t all weak and sad. She was strong. “I ignore those people. They’re bullies. But it makes me sad sometimes. But if I pretend hard enough I don’t even notice. But that isn’t good either right? I should get better so then I don’t have to pretend and then people will be happy when I walk towards them instead of being all fake smiley and trying to hurry me along.”
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Any common themes… topics…
Kesi had to think and really think. The problem was… Kesi didn’t know of any common themes she did talk about. She was entirely random. Whatever came to her mind she did. Whatever she thought to say she said it. There was barely any correlation. People were just… off-put by her.
What a waste of space.
That’s what papa said the night he died. She was a waste of space. He was mean. He was the biggest bully of all. He deserved to die. He was awful. But, was he telling the truth? Was Kesi a waste of space? Was that why she struggled?
Kesi didn’t know what to say. This lady was being nice. She was talking to her. She was trying to help her. But she didn’t want to say what papa said. She didn’t want to look pathetic. And she didn’t want her to think maybe Kesi was and then walk away. Kesi didn’t know after all. What if she wasn’t? Nem didn’t seem to think she was, at least that’s what Kesi thought. So then that means she isn’t… right?
What makes you think you’ll be so good at it, Kesi? Nem had said this to her when she asked if she could recruit. He wasn’t mean, he wasn’t embarrassing her. He was asking. But when Kesi offered to make poisons to sell for the circus, he didn’t ask her that. When Kesi began extracting venom, he didn’t ask her that. He knew she knew. There was never any doubt in Nem’s mind of his sister’s abilities. He didn’t tell Kesi no, but Kesi had not already made it clear that it was an easy yes.
What a waste of space.
“I… don’t know.” She finally admitted. She looked to the ground and kicked some sand. She chewed on her lip as she thought. “It happens a lot. All my life. Papa never listened, but that’s okay. He’s dead. But I had friends before the circus. They were bullies. Really mean. When I came to the circus some people were mean. But a lot of people were nice! Delia listens a lot. She’s good at listening. Miri’s too busy listening to the gods, but sometimes we can talk and it’s good. Aelius is really fun to talk to! But when I go outside of the circus I only have one really good friend. And I don’t see her too often. Everyone else is like, oh look there’s Kesi! Better walk the other way! She might try talking and that’s not something we want to deal with!”
But Kesi would approach them anyway. She would smile and talk because Kesi wasn’t all weak and sad. She was strong. “I ignore those people. They’re bullies. But it makes me sad sometimes. But if I pretend hard enough I don’t even notice. But that isn’t good either right? I should get better so then I don’t have to pretend and then people will be happy when I walk towards them instead of being all fake smiley and trying to hurry me along.”
Any common themes… topics…
Kesi had to think and really think. The problem was… Kesi didn’t know of any common themes she did talk about. She was entirely random. Whatever came to her mind she did. Whatever she thought to say she said it. There was barely any correlation. People were just… off-put by her.
What a waste of space.
That’s what papa said the night he died. She was a waste of space. He was mean. He was the biggest bully of all. He deserved to die. He was awful. But, was he telling the truth? Was Kesi a waste of space? Was that why she struggled?
Kesi didn’t know what to say. This lady was being nice. She was talking to her. She was trying to help her. But she didn’t want to say what papa said. She didn’t want to look pathetic. And she didn’t want her to think maybe Kesi was and then walk away. Kesi didn’t know after all. What if she wasn’t? Nem didn’t seem to think she was, at least that’s what Kesi thought. So then that means she isn’t… right?
What makes you think you’ll be so good at it, Kesi? Nem had said this to her when she asked if she could recruit. He wasn’t mean, he wasn’t embarrassing her. He was asking. But when Kesi offered to make poisons to sell for the circus, he didn’t ask her that. When Kesi began extracting venom, he didn’t ask her that. He knew she knew. There was never any doubt in Nem’s mind of his sister’s abilities. He didn’t tell Kesi no, but Kesi had not already made it clear that it was an easy yes.
What a waste of space.
“I… don’t know.” She finally admitted. She looked to the ground and kicked some sand. She chewed on her lip as she thought. “It happens a lot. All my life. Papa never listened, but that’s okay. He’s dead. But I had friends before the circus. They were bullies. Really mean. When I came to the circus some people were mean. But a lot of people were nice! Delia listens a lot. She’s good at listening. Miri’s too busy listening to the gods, but sometimes we can talk and it’s good. Aelius is really fun to talk to! But when I go outside of the circus I only have one really good friend. And I don’t see her too often. Everyone else is like, oh look there’s Kesi! Better walk the other way! She might try talking and that’s not something we want to deal with!”
But Kesi would approach them anyway. She would smile and talk because Kesi wasn’t all weak and sad. She was strong. “I ignore those people. They’re bullies. But it makes me sad sometimes. But if I pretend hard enough I don’t even notice. But that isn’t good either right? I should get better so then I don’t have to pretend and then people will be happy when I walk towards them instead of being all fake smiley and trying to hurry me along.”
This was… a lot to absorb. The way Kesi spoke, it was almost like a child, and perhaps it was that which was so off putting? She was clearly a woman grown, yet the way she spoke of other people was like a kid being pushed around by their siblings. Calling people bullies and speaking of them in such plain terms. What Callidora couldn’t explain to the woman was that it was her entire demeanor that likely repelled others; whether it was a life of trauma that shaped her (she did say her father was dead) or something else, she didn’t know, but she didn’t think it likely she would be able to simply turn around and change everything about the way she presented herself.
If there were others that were kind to her, why hadn’t Kesi gone to them for help? What was it about Dora that had called out to her that she would be able to do something? She hardly even knew the snake charmer, and this seemed a task fit for someone, well… for someone who did. What did the woman expect her to do? But the way she looked at her was so hopeful, and the childish way she spoke was tugging so fiercely at her heartstrings, she couldn’t bring herself to just brush Kesi off.
“Sometimes all you can really do is pretend,” she told the woman, her tone gentle. “Even those of us who seem confident all the time rarely are. It’s just a projection, a way of showing yourself to the world in the way you want to be seen.”
Perhaps that was the lesson she could impart. She couldn’t teach Kesi to be normal, she knew that. Such a thing was out of her grasp. But maybe she could help her understand that others saw you the way you wanted them to. All it took was a little effort.
“You can’t force people to feel a certain way about you,” she cautioned Kesi. “No matter how much you might wish to. But you can try to help change their perception. Act the way you want them to see you. Sometimes if you pretend hard enough, if you act convincingly enough… then things change. Sometimes it’s just a matter of perception.”
Biting her lip as she looked at her companion, she shook her head. “I’m sorry, Kesi, I wish I knew more about how to help. I think the best advice I can offer is to pretend. To fake it until it becomes reality. To pay more attention to how people react when you say certain things and just… avoid saying them in the future. Or be more careful about how you say them. If that makes sense.” She seemed to doubt her own words, fixing her gaze a little more firmly on Kesi. “Does that make sense?”
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This was… a lot to absorb. The way Kesi spoke, it was almost like a child, and perhaps it was that which was so off putting? She was clearly a woman grown, yet the way she spoke of other people was like a kid being pushed around by their siblings. Calling people bullies and speaking of them in such plain terms. What Callidora couldn’t explain to the woman was that it was her entire demeanor that likely repelled others; whether it was a life of trauma that shaped her (she did say her father was dead) or something else, she didn’t know, but she didn’t think it likely she would be able to simply turn around and change everything about the way she presented herself.
If there were others that were kind to her, why hadn’t Kesi gone to them for help? What was it about Dora that had called out to her that she would be able to do something? She hardly even knew the snake charmer, and this seemed a task fit for someone, well… for someone who did. What did the woman expect her to do? But the way she looked at her was so hopeful, and the childish way she spoke was tugging so fiercely at her heartstrings, she couldn’t bring herself to just brush Kesi off.
“Sometimes all you can really do is pretend,” she told the woman, her tone gentle. “Even those of us who seem confident all the time rarely are. It’s just a projection, a way of showing yourself to the world in the way you want to be seen.”
Perhaps that was the lesson she could impart. She couldn’t teach Kesi to be normal, she knew that. Such a thing was out of her grasp. But maybe she could help her understand that others saw you the way you wanted them to. All it took was a little effort.
“You can’t force people to feel a certain way about you,” she cautioned Kesi. “No matter how much you might wish to. But you can try to help change their perception. Act the way you want them to see you. Sometimes if you pretend hard enough, if you act convincingly enough… then things change. Sometimes it’s just a matter of perception.”
Biting her lip as she looked at her companion, she shook her head. “I’m sorry, Kesi, I wish I knew more about how to help. I think the best advice I can offer is to pretend. To fake it until it becomes reality. To pay more attention to how people react when you say certain things and just… avoid saying them in the future. Or be more careful about how you say them. If that makes sense.” She seemed to doubt her own words, fixing her gaze a little more firmly on Kesi. “Does that make sense?”
This was… a lot to absorb. The way Kesi spoke, it was almost like a child, and perhaps it was that which was so off putting? She was clearly a woman grown, yet the way she spoke of other people was like a kid being pushed around by their siblings. Calling people bullies and speaking of them in such plain terms. What Callidora couldn’t explain to the woman was that it was her entire demeanor that likely repelled others; whether it was a life of trauma that shaped her (she did say her father was dead) or something else, she didn’t know, but she didn’t think it likely she would be able to simply turn around and change everything about the way she presented herself.
If there were others that were kind to her, why hadn’t Kesi gone to them for help? What was it about Dora that had called out to her that she would be able to do something? She hardly even knew the snake charmer, and this seemed a task fit for someone, well… for someone who did. What did the woman expect her to do? But the way she looked at her was so hopeful, and the childish way she spoke was tugging so fiercely at her heartstrings, she couldn’t bring herself to just brush Kesi off.
“Sometimes all you can really do is pretend,” she told the woman, her tone gentle. “Even those of us who seem confident all the time rarely are. It’s just a projection, a way of showing yourself to the world in the way you want to be seen.”
Perhaps that was the lesson she could impart. She couldn’t teach Kesi to be normal, she knew that. Such a thing was out of her grasp. But maybe she could help her understand that others saw you the way you wanted them to. All it took was a little effort.
“You can’t force people to feel a certain way about you,” she cautioned Kesi. “No matter how much you might wish to. But you can try to help change their perception. Act the way you want them to see you. Sometimes if you pretend hard enough, if you act convincingly enough… then things change. Sometimes it’s just a matter of perception.”
Biting her lip as she looked at her companion, she shook her head. “I’m sorry, Kesi, I wish I knew more about how to help. I think the best advice I can offer is to pretend. To fake it until it becomes reality. To pay more attention to how people react when you say certain things and just… avoid saying them in the future. Or be more careful about how you say them. If that makes sense.” She seemed to doubt her own words, fixing her gaze a little more firmly on Kesi. “Does that make sense?”
Kesi really liked playing pretend. She used to play it all the time when she was a child. But she wasn’t a child, so wasn’t it bad to play pretend? Was this woman telling her to lie? Are people who are good at talking just really good liars? But that didn’t make sense either. Nem was good at talking but he wasn’t a liar. He wasn’t a pretender either. He was just Nem. Right?
She also didn’t like that she said she couldn’t force people to feel a certain way. That didn’t feel very true. If Kesi sliced the right tendon she could force people to feel however she wanted them to feel. If she fed them the right poison, she could really do some damage. She could make someone like her.
… Wait that was it! She was just making Kesi use her mind. Oh, Callidora was brilliant! If Kesi wasn’t so smart she might have missed it. Of course! She started this up with people being pretenders and liars, and then she pretended and lied herself! Kesi could read between the lies. She picked up what Dora put down. So if Kesi can’t make friends, she just had to force people to be her friend. That wouldn’t be too hard! Kesi knew of lots of different ways to do that.
But it would have to be done carefully. She wanted people to like her after all. So it might take a bit. But that could be fun. Maybe she could ask Rekhmire (as much as she hated talking to Rekhmire) for some tips. He was always studying people’s minds after all. He probably knew something Kesi could do to help make people do what she wants. Right? Kesi could only hope. Maybe she could ask her brother for advice too! Her brother knew all sorts of things. And of course Dora. But if Dora was being all secretive with her words maybe it wouldn’t be best for Kesi to keep asking her. She might get upset. After all, what’s the point of a secret if it gets told out loud? Kesi could respect that.
“Right!” Kesi said brightly. Her face had completely lit up, the opposite of what it was before. “I understand you perfectly.” Lie and wear a mask, then force them with any means possible. Wow, why hadn’t Kesi thought of that? “Thanks! That was really helpful! I get it now!”
Well, what a day! Kesi had expected just by watching her she would be able to pick up on some subtleties. Instead, it was with talking did Kesi learn what she had wanted to learn. And not only that, but Kesi didn’t have to force Callidora to do anything! She was so nice. She could even be Kesi’s friend too! “I should let you get to it now.” Kesi took some steps back and did a cheerful little wave. “I’ll see you around! I wanna help you next time!” And show her what she learned. Kesi skipped off, a whole new person.
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Kesi really liked playing pretend. She used to play it all the time when she was a child. But she wasn’t a child, so wasn’t it bad to play pretend? Was this woman telling her to lie? Are people who are good at talking just really good liars? But that didn’t make sense either. Nem was good at talking but he wasn’t a liar. He wasn’t a pretender either. He was just Nem. Right?
She also didn’t like that she said she couldn’t force people to feel a certain way. That didn’t feel very true. If Kesi sliced the right tendon she could force people to feel however she wanted them to feel. If she fed them the right poison, she could really do some damage. She could make someone like her.
… Wait that was it! She was just making Kesi use her mind. Oh, Callidora was brilliant! If Kesi wasn’t so smart she might have missed it. Of course! She started this up with people being pretenders and liars, and then she pretended and lied herself! Kesi could read between the lies. She picked up what Dora put down. So if Kesi can’t make friends, she just had to force people to be her friend. That wouldn’t be too hard! Kesi knew of lots of different ways to do that.
But it would have to be done carefully. She wanted people to like her after all. So it might take a bit. But that could be fun. Maybe she could ask Rekhmire (as much as she hated talking to Rekhmire) for some tips. He was always studying people’s minds after all. He probably knew something Kesi could do to help make people do what she wants. Right? Kesi could only hope. Maybe she could ask her brother for advice too! Her brother knew all sorts of things. And of course Dora. But if Dora was being all secretive with her words maybe it wouldn’t be best for Kesi to keep asking her. She might get upset. After all, what’s the point of a secret if it gets told out loud? Kesi could respect that.
“Right!” Kesi said brightly. Her face had completely lit up, the opposite of what it was before. “I understand you perfectly.” Lie and wear a mask, then force them with any means possible. Wow, why hadn’t Kesi thought of that? “Thanks! That was really helpful! I get it now!”
Well, what a day! Kesi had expected just by watching her she would be able to pick up on some subtleties. Instead, it was with talking did Kesi learn what she had wanted to learn. And not only that, but Kesi didn’t have to force Callidora to do anything! She was so nice. She could even be Kesi’s friend too! “I should let you get to it now.” Kesi took some steps back and did a cheerful little wave. “I’ll see you around! I wanna help you next time!” And show her what she learned. Kesi skipped off, a whole new person.
Kesi really liked playing pretend. She used to play it all the time when she was a child. But she wasn’t a child, so wasn’t it bad to play pretend? Was this woman telling her to lie? Are people who are good at talking just really good liars? But that didn’t make sense either. Nem was good at talking but he wasn’t a liar. He wasn’t a pretender either. He was just Nem. Right?
She also didn’t like that she said she couldn’t force people to feel a certain way. That didn’t feel very true. If Kesi sliced the right tendon she could force people to feel however she wanted them to feel. If she fed them the right poison, she could really do some damage. She could make someone like her.
… Wait that was it! She was just making Kesi use her mind. Oh, Callidora was brilliant! If Kesi wasn’t so smart she might have missed it. Of course! She started this up with people being pretenders and liars, and then she pretended and lied herself! Kesi could read between the lies. She picked up what Dora put down. So if Kesi can’t make friends, she just had to force people to be her friend. That wouldn’t be too hard! Kesi knew of lots of different ways to do that.
But it would have to be done carefully. She wanted people to like her after all. So it might take a bit. But that could be fun. Maybe she could ask Rekhmire (as much as she hated talking to Rekhmire) for some tips. He was always studying people’s minds after all. He probably knew something Kesi could do to help make people do what she wants. Right? Kesi could only hope. Maybe she could ask her brother for advice too! Her brother knew all sorts of things. And of course Dora. But if Dora was being all secretive with her words maybe it wouldn’t be best for Kesi to keep asking her. She might get upset. After all, what’s the point of a secret if it gets told out loud? Kesi could respect that.
“Right!” Kesi said brightly. Her face had completely lit up, the opposite of what it was before. “I understand you perfectly.” Lie and wear a mask, then force them with any means possible. Wow, why hadn’t Kesi thought of that? “Thanks! That was really helpful! I get it now!”
Well, what a day! Kesi had expected just by watching her she would be able to pick up on some subtleties. Instead, it was with talking did Kesi learn what she had wanted to learn. And not only that, but Kesi didn’t have to force Callidora to do anything! She was so nice. She could even be Kesi’s friend too! “I should let you get to it now.” Kesi took some steps back and did a cheerful little wave. “I’ll see you around! I wanna help you next time!” And show her what she learned. Kesi skipped off, a whole new person.
Kesi’s abrupt change in attitude was jarring, strange after a conversation that, up until this point, the woman didn’t really seem to follow. I understand you perfectly. But did she though? Had the last thing Dora said really explained her point so well? Maybe Kesi was just pretending to understand so she didn’t have to talk any more. Maybe she thought she meant something else. Or maybe she really did get it.
Whatever it was, it left Callidora bewildered, watching the formerly forlorn snake charmer cheer in an instant. Thanks! That was really helpful! I get it now! “Um, you’re welcome,” she replied with a somewhat confused smile, still wondering how it had clicked so suddenly. “Any time…?”
At that, the younger woman was departing, happily waving in her direction and announcing she wanted to help her out next time. The merchant returned her wave, wondering if Kesi actually meant to make good on that. As enthusiastic as she was, the girl was strange, and Dora wasn’t sure that would really be the best thing for her business. Then again, it was a circus, so she supposed people came expecting the odd and curious. Whatever, she could always let her help and if it didn’t work out, just find a peaceful way to skirt it the next time.
“Bye, Kesi,” she bid the snake charmer farewell, watching the woman stroll away with a bounce in her step. “Until next time.”
What an odd encounter. Smirking and shaking her head, Callidora returned to the task at hand, packing away her wares and securing them for the next show. Pretty soon, she figured she would be able to send someone else to sell in her stead, but for now, she wanted to oversee this venture personally, ensure all was going as expected. Partnering with the circus had been an impulse decision, and so far a lucrative one, but given it wasn’t just her own money she was risking, she wanted to be sure her investment for Lord Akhenaten was a good one.
At least it could never be said it was a boring gig. Chuckling softly as she reflected on the conversation she’d just had, Callidora couldn’t help but wonder what the next day would bring.
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Kesi’s abrupt change in attitude was jarring, strange after a conversation that, up until this point, the woman didn’t really seem to follow. I understand you perfectly. But did she though? Had the last thing Dora said really explained her point so well? Maybe Kesi was just pretending to understand so she didn’t have to talk any more. Maybe she thought she meant something else. Or maybe she really did get it.
Whatever it was, it left Callidora bewildered, watching the formerly forlorn snake charmer cheer in an instant. Thanks! That was really helpful! I get it now! “Um, you’re welcome,” she replied with a somewhat confused smile, still wondering how it had clicked so suddenly. “Any time…?”
At that, the younger woman was departing, happily waving in her direction and announcing she wanted to help her out next time. The merchant returned her wave, wondering if Kesi actually meant to make good on that. As enthusiastic as she was, the girl was strange, and Dora wasn’t sure that would really be the best thing for her business. Then again, it was a circus, so she supposed people came expecting the odd and curious. Whatever, she could always let her help and if it didn’t work out, just find a peaceful way to skirt it the next time.
“Bye, Kesi,” she bid the snake charmer farewell, watching the woman stroll away with a bounce in her step. “Until next time.”
What an odd encounter. Smirking and shaking her head, Callidora returned to the task at hand, packing away her wares and securing them for the next show. Pretty soon, she figured she would be able to send someone else to sell in her stead, but for now, she wanted to oversee this venture personally, ensure all was going as expected. Partnering with the circus had been an impulse decision, and so far a lucrative one, but given it wasn’t just her own money she was risking, she wanted to be sure her investment for Lord Akhenaten was a good one.
At least it could never be said it was a boring gig. Chuckling softly as she reflected on the conversation she’d just had, Callidora couldn’t help but wonder what the next day would bring.
Kesi’s abrupt change in attitude was jarring, strange after a conversation that, up until this point, the woman didn’t really seem to follow. I understand you perfectly. But did she though? Had the last thing Dora said really explained her point so well? Maybe Kesi was just pretending to understand so she didn’t have to talk any more. Maybe she thought she meant something else. Or maybe she really did get it.
Whatever it was, it left Callidora bewildered, watching the formerly forlorn snake charmer cheer in an instant. Thanks! That was really helpful! I get it now! “Um, you’re welcome,” she replied with a somewhat confused smile, still wondering how it had clicked so suddenly. “Any time…?”
At that, the younger woman was departing, happily waving in her direction and announcing she wanted to help her out next time. The merchant returned her wave, wondering if Kesi actually meant to make good on that. As enthusiastic as she was, the girl was strange, and Dora wasn’t sure that would really be the best thing for her business. Then again, it was a circus, so she supposed people came expecting the odd and curious. Whatever, she could always let her help and if it didn’t work out, just find a peaceful way to skirt it the next time.
“Bye, Kesi,” she bid the snake charmer farewell, watching the woman stroll away with a bounce in her step. “Until next time.”
What an odd encounter. Smirking and shaking her head, Callidora returned to the task at hand, packing away her wares and securing them for the next show. Pretty soon, she figured she would be able to send someone else to sell in her stead, but for now, she wanted to oversee this venture personally, ensure all was going as expected. Partnering with the circus had been an impulse decision, and so far a lucrative one, but given it wasn’t just her own money she was risking, she wanted to be sure her investment for Lord Akhenaten was a good one.
At least it could never be said it was a boring gig. Chuckling softly as she reflected on the conversation she’d just had, Callidora couldn’t help but wonder what the next day would bring.