As Apollo tried to grapple with the harsh realization he had just come to his eyes flickered over to that treasured pedestal that displayed the laurel branch from Daphne’s tree. It was a harsh reminder of what could happen when someone got too close to Apollo -- or at least, in that case, be unlucky enough to have the God of Light care just a bit too much about them. He was a dangerous person in that regard. It didn’t matter that Apollo himself never meant for them to get hurt. That wouldn’t save them from the danger that being entangled with this god seemed to put them in. Daphne. Hyacinth. Cassandra. All of them were burned by the bright light that was his fluttering affections and volatile emotions. It was almost as if he was the sun himself. Anyone who dared to go against the advice and try to see what was really beneath that golden exterior ended up hurt. Badly hurt.
Apollo might have been a complete idiot at the best of times, but he was far from being a blind one. He could see the wake of destruction he left behind for those he said he cared about and he took notice of how everytime he tried to protect them, they would still get hurt just the same. It was a neverending cycle that none of them could ever escape from no matter what they tried. As impossible as it sounded, Apollo was fairly certain that when it came to love and real friendships, he had to be cursed. How else could no one escape from him in one piece?
Maybe this was why the young god thought it was easier to just shut himself off from those who would otherwise get hurt. Stop chasing after the chitons of pretty nymphs and just stick to the ones lazing around his temple already. Maybe this was why he stopped seeing the mortals almost as an equal when it came to love and lust -- but instead as dolls and playthings that could be moved around his board game as he wished. Perhaps these were the reasons. It could also very well be that the Sun God was becoming jaded to it all. That was starting to not care because he was slowly realizing how pointless it all was. Everyone got hurt. Everyone left. Everyone died. The only people that this didn’t apply to were his own siblings, but with only Hermes, Dionysus, and Artemis to lean on, was he supposed to take some sort of comfort from that?
This lesson was one that was hard-learned and the road to it had been paved in the blood of those Apollo supposedly cared about. He was more than aware of this simple truth and yet… that didn’t stop his heart from stirring again. Good gods, it was a stubborn little thing, frantically racing at the sight of a pretty face and it was just beginning to start its thunderous call for the God of Light to give it what it wanted. Right now, it longed for one of the mortals. A handsome thing that it had just managed to get a glimpse of in the magical mirrors that let the gods spy on the mortal realm. One look was all it took to start this dangerous game up again with seemingly no concern about the safety of the mortal in question.
Apollo tried to resist. He refused to look at first, but the lustful calls was so hard to ignore. So, he found himself sneaking a peek every now and then. Those peeks became momentary glances which then transformed into longing looks. Now the gods couldn’t tear his eyes off of this mortal, no matter what he did. Whenever he walked away, his mind fluttered back to them, always wondering what did they look like under those fine cloth garments? How would their lips feel against his own? Oh, how wonderful it would be to feel their arms around each other, holding on tight as the bitter night blew outside, but they would not care because they kept each other warm? It was too much. Too much for the god to even bear as hard as he tried to ignore how he felt.
But there was no denying one’s heart.
Apollo needed to have this mortal and call them his own. He needed it more than he needed to breathe and he knew at this moment, glancing at them in the magical mirror he used to spy on them, that he was not going to be free from this curse upon his heart until he had all of these questions and more. The God of Light would have liked to think that he was so careful when it came to protecting others, but he should have known better. He did not control his own emotions, his emotions controlled him and there was no way of stopping it.
He had to have this mortal for himself and nothing was going to get in his way.
|